So its over. I think so. Im leaving soon, hes acting distant, and now says he doesnt think he'll come over to NYC to see me. Too big, too scary...
Im leaving in a few days.
I guess it was inevitable. I do believe in miracles, but I feel like I have to let him go now.
I feel grateful, but also really sad. He did remind me of love.
Many of the images from my vision board happened with him.
But no, he's not the one. He doesnt want it enough and so it cant work.
I do not want to go back to victim mode. I dont know exactly what this whole story was. He said it was too fast. I agree.
He still wants to see me before I leave, but I dont know if it would be a good idea.
We'll see, maybe. I want to be strong. Maybe if I just see him as a dream character that entered my reality to give me this gift of love and support, I feel better.
I can chose to be angry, and feel used, or I can just see it as something really really beautiful that it was.
My eyes are filled with tears. It was such a beautiful gift for me.
Beyond anything I experienced in years.
Now I move on. I deserve the real thing. True lasting love. A relationship that can last. That has a future. That is mutual, and is simple
I almost feel like writing him a thank you letter