RonSouther: I know what you mean, but for all my spiritual inclination I've decided to win the ego game first according to my standards. It's a conscious choice.
I edited my first post and I realize that for all it's length it wasn't asking the right questions.
Merr: It wasn't very apparent on my first post but I'm very familiar with the feeling of respect. Even with that of reverence. This disrespect happened in a couple of relationships and we all know how changing relationship dynamics can be difficult after a while. The humiliation stems from the fact that I've had quite a few examples where I was being disrespected...and feeling that doesn't jive with my self-image.
The problem is I still say hello to these frenemies if I see them on the street because at the time I chose to let a lot of things slide...but now looking back I regret that.
It's funny you ask "what I think someone who I'd respect would look like, act like and so on" because by default I respect everyone. I don't understand why people say you earn respect. There's no justification for disrespecting another no?
I have a lot of respect for myself. But are we talking about good posture, dressing sharply and watching every word one says in front of others for fear of how it will be perceived?
Greek Dog I basically agree with you. Then again I wouldn't say I lack any self-respect at all. I just have a problem responding to judgement and establishing boundaries. I can take things personally, and I don't know how NOT to and to assert boundaries without sounding I'm defending myself.