Hey, I received your pm. I started typing in here first, so I'll reply to your pm in here as well.
What I mean when I say you are running away and deluding yourself is that you are not focusing on the root of the problem. You are attempting to solve an internal mental problem by looking outside of your mind. In some cases, that might work, but most of the time all it does is serve as a distraction from the truth.
It's not so much a matter of you projecting your shame outwards... Whether you feel it inwardly or express it is not the issue. The issue is that you feel shame, for some reason. People will tell you to focus on the positives, think about why you shouldn't be shameful, but all that does is distract you from the underlying shame. You can get rid of it for a while using various methods, but like a weed it will continue to grow back unless you pull it out by the root. Also, reading books and learning about all the methods of getting rid of weeds is no substitute for going outside and actually pulling it out.
The shame is most likely not even the cause of your shame, it is only a leaf on the weed. My guess would be that your feeling of shame grows from some aspect of your "self." This is something that you need to pinpoint, and something that not a lot of people really do in their lifetimes. It is the turning point in your existence, when you see through the person that you think you are (or thought you were). From there, you have your bearings and can see exactly what needs to be done.
I'd like to help you, but I can't just tell you what to do. I'll talk about it with you all you want, though, and I can try point you in the right direction (hopefully). Don't fall into the trap of just absorbing what I say and adding it to your vast database of knowledge without putting it to use. This is it. If you are going to do something, you have to do it.
By the way, I just noticed your latest reply. I have to go for a while, but I'll be back shortly. We can talk more then.