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m18pak · 08-26-2007, 11:33 AM

I think that, at the heart of it, the shame exists because I have an idea of what I want to be, an imagined ideal, and it is the only thing that sustains me.

I can't face harsh reality without it. I can't live without it. If I didn't have it, I wouldn't want to go on living.

But it also makes me want to die, because then I can't live with myself as I am.

Hope is the quintessential human delusion, I guess.

08-26-2007, 11:33 AM	#33 (permalink)
m18pak Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 293	I think that, at the heart of it, the shame exists because I have an idea of what I want to be, an imagined ideal, and it is the only thing that sustains me. I can't face harsh reality without it. I can't live without it. If I didn't have it, I wouldn't want to go on living. But it also makes me want to die, because then I can't live with myself as I am. Hope is the quintessential human delusion, I guess.