Having allowed myself to be feminist I've uncovered a feeling which hid behind that - something which I didn't allow myself to feel when I had the anti-feminist feeling. Call it a deeper layer of the onion. It's a feeling of a dislike of men.
Not a dislike of all men. I have plenty of men friends. But dislike of men as a generalisation or possibly a dislike of what men are supposed to be.
I don't like how normal men are so pushy and kind of expect me to be macho like them.
I don't like how as a man society expects me not to be sensitive, expects me to be some sort of fighter, and puts me in situations like that.
I don't like the dumb stuff which normal men have in their social conditioning. I just get along better with women as a generalisation.
NOTE: these thoughts are not problems and don't need to be fixed so please don't analyse them to death. They're what's coming up in this "onion layer". I'm just sharing my process here.
If I have this feeling of resistence to men, I expect this is something that will have to be healed. I also need to integrate the message these thoughts or emotions have before moving on to the next onion layer though. If they're there it's because there's something I haven't acknowledged in myself yet.