The first step in getting better is to realize that your family isn't forcing you to make the choices that you've been making in life; you're making those on your own.
Because if your unhappiness in life is all your families doing, you're finished, since you don't have any control over what they choose to do, or what they did in the past. But if you realize that you're in control of the choices you make now, then you'll understand the truth: that you have the power to change your choices in life.
Make a new beginning for your life, from which point you intend to make better choices from now on. Start very small, with something as simple as making a pot of coffee or preparing a meal: stay focused through the whole experience, and finish it all the way to completion in steps. Focus on each step. If you get something wrong, don't get angry or beat yourself up over it; just go back over that step again and again until it's completed.
Make a habit of doing this with everything. Don't just do whatever, in however way you feel like doing it. Be definite and decisive with everything you do and think, even about brushing your teeth. Make every action a deliberate and calculated event.
When you accomplish small things that took several steps to do, congratulate and praise yourself for sticking with a plan and seeing it through. Realize that even the largest accomplishments ever done by anyone is done in exactly this way - one deliberate calculated step at a time. If you can teach yourself to live according to this pattern, you will have given yourself one of the most powerful tools for having a very fulfilling life, because you now have the power to work through a plan, to completion.
The next skill you'll need to learn is how to plan, and how to stick to a plan and resist the temptation to bail out of it for the wrong reasons. You'll need to clearly see the difference between changing your plan for a strategic reason, and changing your plan just because you don't feel like doing that anymore or because you're board, or afraid.
It's really this simple. You can choose to complicate your situation with all kinds of dramatic things, about the people who mistreated you, and turn your situation into a puzzle so complex that not even you, or the best behavioral analyst could unravel it. Or you could just forget all that - does it really matter how you got where you are today? It's better and much simpler to just fix it.
Last edited by Vibration; 12-15-2011 at 04:24 PM.