Look into some of the effects of growing up in a dysfunctional home. I was actually really relieved when I found out that my patterns of behaviour (including underachieving, amongst many, many others) were not only normal, but pretty typical for someone with that background. Once I learned that, it was easier to take the next steps forward toward healing.
Eventually, I broke out of the learned helplessness and then the victim mentality which had me in its grip most of my life, and since doing that, my life has been stunningly different. It's been improving for many years, but kicking the victim mentality out the door was a huge turning point.
You may need to do some work to get there. Counselling can help, or self-help books on recovering from post traumatic stress disorder or dysfunctional families, etc. It can be done, and I know because I did it, and I was once profoundly depressed and definitely suicidal (actually, at my lowest point, I was contemplating murder suicide, that's how bad off I was).
It can get better, if you want it to.