If you have experienced lots of trauma then that would definitely effect your ability to focus.
I know this because I have experienced various traumas over the last 15 years, and it has been a tremendous challenge to learn to focus again. I wasn't able to work for a few years, and then when I did start working I wasn't able to focus enough to do the job right, so my co-workers thought I was incompetent and stupid...which isn't the best for a persons self-esteem.
Have you sought counseling for your childhood traumas? There is a website you can visit that is for people who are in recovery from ptsd, which may be relevant to you?
Try not to be so hard on yourself. This could be a major factor to why your life has never really picked up?
So what if you're a loser? We all are at some stage of life. If you really exam the life of so-called "winners" in society, you might find that the way they treat people would put them in the category of loser, despite being millionaires.