Ron I thank you for your encouragement.
This journey is fascinating if not pleasant. I am learning so much about myself. I just reread one of your earlier posts on this thread and found value and comfort in it.
Love is a critical part of the healing.
As I continue on in this process I am finding a kind of OCD loop that has physiological underpinnings. I can use the techniques that have been working so far to push through these loops. That is where the healing is.
In order to get through these I must first identify the impulses and related thoughts. That will be an important task in this process.
One of those impulse/thoughts is to hide
Here is another message that was internalized long ago and lives and has power still:
"You are in the way." "Your apology will not be accepted." "Your apology will be a launching pad for a personal attack." "Your thoughts and ideas are worthless and deserving of ridicule."
which is related to expectation of rejection.
Both of these come from past experience but they are not correct for today, they are false in relationship to today's experience. Call them so and replace them.
Last edited by Greek Dog; 12-14-2011 at 05:42 PM.