| | Day 13
The first few weeks, doing the necessary work was easy because the anxiety levels were so high. Now the work is more difficult because what has replaced the anxiety levels, the rush of adrenaline, is exhaustion. It is no wonder. But none-the-less, anxiety is so wretched that it calls for resolution. Exhaustion/fatigue tends to draw me into retreat which is the very problem that I an working to overcome - retreat from the world.
But this is simply one more step in the entire healing process. I completely understand ow fatigue came into play. I must be thankful that the adrenaline rush has stopped. Though the fatigue shuts me down as the adrenals and thyroid are supported all of this will move on as well.
I intend to keep up the same level of attention through the fatigue period as I did during the last period. I do hope that the fatigue period is not a full 11 weeks. One of the other things that comes with he fatigue is a deep and painful sadness and loneliness. The emotions, especially at Christmas are lonely. But perhaps that feeling of loneliness and being alone will be the empetise to do the work that will propel me through this stage and on towards healing and health.
The pain of this loneliness is truly extreme. And the difficulty in executing daily responsibilities during fatigue is very high. I will work hard as that might keep me lifted above depression.
I chose to intend to connect with some social life. I have had none for over 10 years. I cannot foresee how to integrate back into society but I will put it out as an intention.