[Angelwings]

So here it goes. There are few negative things i dont like about myself:


I have a tendency of focusing too much on people and not minding my own business. I like to compare myself to others to measure my progression.
I know its bad but i cant help it.Here are few example: My grades, my looks, friendship, job, clothes, boyfriend and so on.
Whenever, I came across people that have more than me, I get SO JEALOUS , unhappy and mad. Often i think Its UNFAIR and so on.
Does anyone know how to overcome this level of competitivenss and this bad attitude of wishing love seeing people fall over>?
Moreover, i have a tendency to want to be someone else but me and a great tendency of imagining other people have a happier more fulfilling interesting life than me.

Secondly, I dont like working HARD to get things.For example, when i m working. I thought to myself:"If i marry a wealthy guy or date one, then I dont have to work anymore." " well if i hang out with them, they can help me in lab so i ll have less work to do. "
I m very lazy. I like things easy. I m afraid of HARDWORK coz i dont believe i m able and it could take a long time to get the end result.
Its too painful too much work and DISCIPLINE, I feel WEAK.
So, i procrastinate alot... pity myself for not meeting my standards and thus I daydream alot hoping prince charming to come save me and motivate me, fix me and things would be ok.


I m expecting few critisism. I m expecting response like GROW UP! YOU'RE AN ADULT! Physically, i m an adult but inside I m still trap in like a child wanting to be protected by my parents and people.
I cant stand being ALONE..I m not very good at doing things by myself coz then I feel lonely, sad and deprived. Moreover, I seek for company to carry actions/goals.

How on earth do i transform being a CHILD TO ADULT??
Being an adult means be able to be independent be able to enjoy own company, and not feel deprived/lonely when u are alone,
stay focus, have an aim/goal in life.
I ve none of these criteria. I dont find Adult life fun, i rather much prefer stuck in childhood with nothing to worry, no aim but just go out and play.Mindless!
I conclude, I m not an adult I m still a child.

Where do i begin? what is being an ADULT?