[Criseyde]

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

What is up with that? If I didn't have to go out, I'd leave the freakishly long hairs in and see just how long they would grow. Measuring time!

Report back with the results. ;D

Originally Posted by ButterflyWoman

Not especially. I've always been attracted to a person for their mind (sense of humour, intelligence, ability to carry on a decent conversation, etc.). I certainly recognise very attractive people (men, particularly; I'm hardly immune to a "sexy fireman" calendar!), but as far as relationships (friendship, romantic, whatever) go, I'm not fussed. In fact, I, personally, have tended to be somewhat distrustful of very good looking men. In my unfortunate experience, they tend to be arrogant and they tend to be users. (I know this is not true of all good looking men; this is only my own experience.)

I'm not distrustful of good looking men (then again, my idea of "attractive" is frequently questioned by my friends), buuuut, I feel the same way. I fall for other things. They just always happen to be really attractive, too. Bother.

Originally Posted by votoshka

I have never been attracted to someone who isn't good looking. It sounds awfully shallow, but I don't think attraction is something I have actual control over! It'd sure be nice to be attracted to some really great guy with a really awesome personality, who just so happens to be homely... but for me... it just doesn't happen.

Sadly, I'm not particularly physically beautiful myself, which in a way makes mee feel rather hypocritical! I find it hard to expect people to be attracted to me, when I'm not attracted to average looking guys!

In the vast majority of my interactions with people, their appearance is irrelevant, but when it comes to romantic relationships it's a different ball game.

This IS something I struggle with, as I hate to think I have this defect that makes me attracted to only good looking guys . Overall, I see myself as this kind, accepting people who loves people for who they are and not what they look like... but with romantic love this just isn't the case for me.

Thanks for your honesty.

I understand where you're coming from, hence my navel gaze about "I THINK looks shouldn't matter, but all the guys I like have been dead sexy!" But, from reading the other responses here, and looking at all these photos, I'm starting to think that I accept a much wider range of "attractive" than many people do. Maybe that's the case for you as well?

I do probably fixate on my own appearance a bit much too. I don't believe that fixating on how I look has made me more beautiful over time though (as BillyTheAdult sort of suggested ). I also don't spend hours a day trying to look more beautiful, I think because I'd rather just be naturally beautiful rather than "painted on" beautiful which can be washed off at the end of the day!

Same here. I actively try not to put too much energy into it, but... I've always thought my features were blended strangely, and recently, a few people have confirmed that (on their own -- without my asking). Maybe it's like ALG's penchant for interestingness, some people find that kind of thing really attractive and others think I just look weird. Either way, thinking about it hasn't changed anything!

Originally Posted by Mariana Trench

The horribly unhealthy reason, that I've been able to move away from since my eating disorder days, is that being (or trying to be) conventionally attractive is a way to try to establish self-worth. That, hey, maybe if I'm perfectly f---able and nice to look at I can justify my existence. That also tied into cultural narratives about women that communicated, at least to me, that nothing else you do matters if you're not masturbation material.

Yeah, I'm back and forth with this. I decided to give it the middle finger a long, looooong time ago. I don't know, I'm totally not doing a good job of describing why I started this thread! I'll ponder it more and come back.

I think it's interesting how in other threads, we'll get people strenuously declaring that Looks Totally Matter, but they've all fallen silent here...