So I was standing there at the gas station Thursday in the midst of averting another potential crisis, when I got that idea about how I have set my life up to be in a near-continuous state of chaos and near-crisis, and wondering if I need that for some reason. I really felt a resonance with that . . . one of those, "Wow . . . so that's what this is all about."
The opposite of all that would be a life that's peaceful, calm and serene. I've been affirming that to myself ever since.
This is interesting to me because for such a long time I'd see recommendations on the IM forum about instead of intending for money, to affirm for whatever it is behind the desire. There would be suggestions about intending for a house or a vacation, rather than intending for the money. My problem has been that since I owe money, I need money to pay it back. So I've kept intending for money all along.
I couldn't even really intend for "freedom," because I could get freedom by defaulting, and that's not at all what I want. But perhaps "peaceful, calm and serene" is more the answer.
I always related to Stevie Nicks' lyric, "Never have I been a blue calm sea. . . . I have always been a storm." But I think I've had enough of the storm.