Originally Posted by ButterflyWoman
One thing I learned about myself is that I love the feeling of "relief". I would push myself to the brink in all kinds of ways: procrastinating, holding back, refusing to accept various possibilities, and so on, just to experience that blessed feeling of utter relief. (Again, not suggesting this is anything you might be doing.)
I have this too. I knew even when I first realized it a very long time ago, that it could develop into a problem. (It was when I fell in love with spring after an exceptionally harsh winter.) Relief feels good, and high-level relief can be blissful, like being in love. That's an addictive feeling.