A friend of mine told me about a policy that supports him greatly in life. I'm in the beginning stages and it does seem very helpful. Taking your past experiences, and in whatever way possible, see them as something to aide one's current goals and aspirations. While this may seem small or old news for some, the possibilities are really great. It reminds me of the graduation speech where
someone said, "remember compliments and forget the insults... and if you learn to do that please tell me how you do it."
I'm not encouraging self-delusion, you simply emphasize and allow to repeat in your thoughts that which is helpful to you from your past. Possibly your mom telling you that you were a naturally happy child--now you believe it and embrace it fully, naturally happy is just your basic tendency. As in NLP, placing a frame around something can help, such as, 'this flu is clearing the toxic gunk out of my body', I am so grateful. With the right ideas, we can turn most past experiences into an opportunity for this type of thing. Really "bad" experiences are usually those that involve an extremely potent opportunity for growth.
For those that like more structure and depth and would like to try this out. Take the article here:
Using Your Past Experience to Build Whatever Career You Want - Associated Content
And replace the word 'career' or 'job' with 'life'.
"brainstorm ways to match the patterns of your career experience to push your job search toward your long-term goals"
"Basically, you're looking to match the past with the present"
With most skills, I start out quite horribly at a task and get much better with practice. This works for things from handstands to relating to others. Using past effectively, I can remember that I have already done similar things before. I can draw on that experience. Even if the connection is only vague, the idea that I've already practiced this sort of thing is very powerful in regards to personal effectiveness. Also, these skills simultaneously can help clear out all of those excuses. The fact that you failed at this quite a few times before means that you've been practicing a lot more than everyone else has and despite relative success rates you have a significant head start (though I'm not encouraging anyone to beat their heads against a brick wall, trying to get through, if you know what I mean..).
If one can allow themselves creative license in regards to their past, they unlock a reservoir of potential effectiveness.