 When can I be consistently and not conditionally happy?
I don’t understand why my levels of contentment and overall happiness are always up and down so drastically. When I left my ex in February, I was doing badly, very depressed, drinking, pills, binge eating, and just abusing myself. In March, I got back into therapy, joined a 12 step program for codependency, and started reading again. I was very positive and operating at a high level of vibration. Whenever I get into these modes, friends and women from the past start calling me out of nowhere, my confidence is higher, and I am a lot of fun to be around.
There also seems to be a correlation with how business is going and my happiness. I like to make money, I like to work, I like being busy. When things get slow, my stress levels rise and I get like this. I like predictability and control.
It feels like this thing is cycling around and I can feel it approaching. My anxiety is very high and I am always tense. I focus a lot of my energies on externals like my friends or women I am dating; for example focusing on their problems or giving unsolicited advice and then doing the whole negative self talk afterward for it. My therapist wasn’t doing much for me so I stopped and I haven’t been to a 12 step meeting in over a month, maybe two. I plan on getting back into my meetings very soon, but aside from that….
What does it take to be consistently happy? I want to operate at a higher vibration level all the time.  |