12-08-2011, 11:23 AM
Join Date: Oct 2011
Originally Posted by The Cloud
That won't work. Even if he did it, I don't think you'd be able to tolerate living with a man who doesn't have a life of his own. He won't do it, though, because he won't be able to tolerate not having a life of his own.
It doesn't sound like he has the maturity to be a good husband or father yet. I think you're making a good move in separating from him, but it might not be necessary for you to divorce him. It would be unfair to entirely remove his daughter from his life, and it's possible that all he needs is time away from you to grow up and understand the mistakes that he's made. It sounds like you two do have a bond; he's just not ready to live up to it.
Of course, he may never grow up, or you may outgrow him before he does. You'll have to make the judgment call there. You don't have to take what he did personally, though. He wasn't doing it to you, he was doing it because he's confused and suffering himself. You don't have a responsibility to tolerate him, but I think it's better for you if you try to understand his actions than it is to demonize them.