Ron - I agree with much of what you have written. I hold no animosity towards those who were not able to nurture me. And I am thankful to recognize that only I can do something about my life now. No one else needs to change in order for me to get what I need - just me.
I've come to believe that the effects of chronically repeated trauma causes a patterning on the brain which furthermore effects the entire endocrine system. This pattern can be altered but if not altered can have a powerful effect on one's life and one's perspective. I am experimenting to see if supporting the endocrine system along with using the mind these patterns can be replaced by healthier ones that permit a more productive life.