Originally Posted by moonrambler
Thanks Moriarty. A lot of what you've said there is what I've been trying to express as far as my frustration with myself and my situation.
I don't want this thread to come off as a pity party, although I'm sure it can. I keep searching for the epiphany, the key, the eureka moment. I even thought your post there might have been it. I started out the morning with such a good attitude, then something happened and I let myself get completely demoralized, because as you said in one of the descriptions up there, I'm exhausted. Then I was basically frozen much of the rest of the day.
I am so totally willing to work. This is where I keep searching the LoA idea, because it seems like no matter how willing I am to work and how many hours I put in, I wind up back in the same situation eventually. When things were going well, I thought maybe I had at last blasted through whatever psychological crap was holding me back, and now it's all a big mess again.
(It's interesting how wide-ranging responses in this thread are, from encouraging me to take responsibility to encouraging me to walk away and embrace freedom. )
bahhh...freedom is never what we imagine it to be. Freedom is freedom of self...the rest then follows through. I could go on, but I'm sure you already know about anything I add.
I cannot offer you steps to resolving without personally knowing you, your thoughts, your life. I can only offer things from my own experiences which are never another's.