You are not alone. Keep up the work, it's hard, but transforming. You asked to open the pain to heal. There was so much garbage you stuffed down for so long. Brave you today as an adult will face it It's ugly, but you have the grit to beat it and let it go. Today is a hard day, but you are going to pass it and the sun is going to shine on you again.
You have written thing to enlighten me and warn me if I dig in to past pain, it will hurt, but it is a step in the release. I can't carry this baggage forever. There's too much good stuff I need to be holding on too.