Here's what I've been doing.
Visualizing the propane delivery guy coming in November (visualizing the picture on the November calendar when he arrives). Counting out money in my mind (which I used to do, but haven't in many months). Staying in a trusting, relaxed calm, content state as much as I can.
Thursday night, I also had a meltdown after I broke a hard plastic lampshade while tripping over various cords lying around on the floor. It wasn't about the lampshade; it was about everything. I cried and wailed and spent about a half hour sweeping up the lampshade pieces, as of course it had shattered into a zillion shards. Then I went to bed. On the couch, because no heat in the bedrooms.
The next morning I woke while it was still dark and I asked God, Jesus, the guardian angels and the universe and any other benevolent spirits who might like to help, to help me with inspired action for more income. That I would trust when I don't have busywork to generate immediate income, I can pursue inspired action work. I asked for when I woke up later in the morning to have some ideas.
Neighbor Buddy and Chuck the Electrician had spent a couple hours here Tuesday night investigating the wiring situation and the three breaker boxes. I set up a lamp in the kitchen and did dishes and did some cleaning. I was thinking it was weird that I was feeling rather content to be doing housework in a room where it was 52 degrees, but there was that sense of doing something to take care of my house and make the house happier. I didn't even feel a need to fantasize about the B&B under renovation.
But Friday morning I felt that I needed to get some heat in here or I would lose my mind. As mentioned, the living room could stay relatively warm with space heaters, but that meant I couldn't run lamps off those same outlets and get light anywhere else in the house. Also, every time I went into another part of the house it was REALLY cold. I felt like I couldn't stand it anymore. I was ready to go pawn jewelry.
Friday morning I got an abundance of work projects that would keep me busy all weekend. That was cool. I called the propane place to find out pricing for this year and tell her my story; long story short, she said I could post-date two checks for the next two following weeks and they'd come deliver some LP. I was so excited I called Neighbor Buddy and he said "WOW." I could swear I had asked them once before about post-dating checks and that she refused.
(It wasn't November anymore, but I had forgotten to change the November calendar over to December
)
Today, Saturday, Chuck the Electrician called and said he had figured out what the problem was. He came over and within about 90 minutes he had the electricity back on in the entire house. It's all sort of jimmy-rigged with (non-live) wires running along the ground from the garage to the crawlspace, but it's jimmy-rigged by a licensed electrician who works for the local electric company. He says come spring he and Neighbor Buddy will put everything together the way it should be.
It's so very weird that last Wednesday morning everything looked so dire and 11 days later everything is okay again, and within one 30-hour time frame I got heat, electricity and work.
I wonder if I needed this to take a good hard look at what's actually been going on with me -- work, house, money, attitude.