Originally Posted by Rezzy7
[COLOR="Navy"]I don't mean to be hard on myself. I'm sure there are millions potentially if you include the entire world. But I don't have access to the whole world.
I'm looking. It's the finding that has eluded me.
Well, yeah I was including the entire world
, but I think that still means there are enough for you.
It's a path, there's usually something internal holding you back. I got into PUA and then realised it was all bulls**t and then I healed all of the bulls**t and somehow on the way I got into a vibe where having relationships was easy for me. At some point I want to analyse and break down more or less what the change consisted of so I can help people with it.
Poly is interesting to me, except I wonder if I would get too attached to "all" of them! By "too" I mean, "more than she wants for this kind of situation."
So far in poly I feel a lot less attached to anyone. It comes from a kind of sense that while one person might not give me what I need, someone else always can.
As for wanting it more than the other person, that happens sometimes. Someone in the polyamory meetup mentioned this situation. He said that it's okay if you can be okay with it. Obviously you don't try and invade their space, but you can be zen and enjoy things as far as they want to go with you.
I currently have two girls I really feel in love with when I connect with them, but for one thing or another I can't be with them (at least not connect with beyond the level of friends). One of them was mature enough to understand; I told her and we still talk. I really enjoy talking with her sometimes, when I connect with her deeply and I feel in love. I usually tell her when I feel these sensations, unless it's going to cause too much confusion.
The other one is actually an ex, and given our history I'm not going to try explaining. But I feel fine hanging out with her. It doesn't feel tortured like I just need to get it off my chest like before. I have other options.
From what I know, you don't have "breakups" but people still lose interest or move on, right?
Yeah I think so, well sometimes I guess it is more like a breakup, but I think normally it's a natural flow, a bit like friends getting closer together or further apart as they evolve or get to know each other or simply change their timetables and so on.