[Reefs]

Originally Posted by moonrambler

Y'know what's interesting about this is that I felt like I was really faking it real good. I spend a lot of time in perpetual crisis mode, but in general, hardly anyone, if anyone, would ever know it. I haven't talked about money issues here in a really long time (I don't think).

But . . . in this case, I guess I have to fake it to the universe, not just to other people. And boy. That's something different. That means I actually have to conjure up the actual feeling rather than just pretending.



Oh yes, at least half the moments are pretty content/peaceful/relaxed, and it's not an immediate crisis. It's the fear of an impending crisis that I keep feeling that I have to head off. So I spend an hour or two feeling content, and then zing -- "oh no it's going down to 38 degrees tonight and if this goes on much longer etc." Boy, I go all over the place with that one.

I have this weird mix of emotions, and have had for quite some time . . . believing things will be okay mixed with being afraid of impending crisis. And also, the idea of believing things will be okay, and then if they turn out not-okay, will get me in trouble, like moriarty raised the issue of being too complacent.

Putting on a happy face sticker is not the way to go.