Originally Posted by Angela
I would reach for a better feeling thought, perhaps one step up the emotional guidance scale from "defeated and beaten down." What would that be for you: a draw, maybe? Or if that's too big a leap, how about anger? Would being really pissed off feel a little better than feeling defeated and beaten down?
I was doing pretty well with gratitude, I thought. My neighbor buddy keeps saying when I'm all bummed out, "The house is still standing!" Yes, it could have been much worse. And, I'm very glad there's a second breaker box so I have a cozy living room.
(Oh crap. I just thought of something.)
But -- like this morning. I woke up, the space heater's running, I switch on a light. Within 30 seconds the space heater starts losing power bad. Neighbor Buddy told me to watch for this sort of thing in case there's further wiring issues. ♥♥♥♥! It recovers. Does it again. ♥♥♥♥! I call Neighbor Buddy. He's discouraged. He caves and calls an electrician he knows who works at the electric co-op to see if the guy can come over here on a Saturday morning. The electrician says we don't have to worry -- that some substations in the area lost power and a bunch of people in the area totally lost power, which is why the electricity sort of winked on and off here a couple times.
Okay, that's good, I'm exTREMEly relieved, but by then, also drained and exhausted from the previous short tailspin of pondering moving all my stuff into storage and packing up the cat and going to live in somebody's spare bedroom.
(The 'oh crap I just thought of something' was wondering if I conjured up a situation where I would feel grateful and relieved, because that's the level I'm at.)
Really, it felt like the universe was yanking my chain. Wasn't so funny on this end.