Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post

moonrambler · 11-26-2011, 11:16 PM

I would like to look at this from an I/M or LoA lens, as that's the focus with which I have pursued my financial goals over the past few years.

My income started going steadily up about a year into this pursuit (well, not steadily, more like two steps up, one step back, two steps up, one step back, and so on, but still excellent progress). By this summer, everything was completely on track to pay back all the money I owe, which is a lot, but is a whole lot less than it was a few years ago.

Then, blam, my work supply ran out this fall. And my income got cut by about 2/3, and I have not figured out a way to boost it back up substantially.

During all this, my house is a mess. I have taken very little time to clean, and it's very cluttered, and I haven't paid much attention to stuff that needs maintenance or repair or replacing, because there hasn't been the extra money to deal with it.

In addition, sometimes things seem to "just happen." I had one of those this past week. There was maybe nearly an electrical fire connected with the washer/dryer combo, which I was not running at the time. My friend who lives closest and also has a lot of experience in home renovation rushed over. I had already shut off the circuit breaker, and he went to unplug the dryer. When he did that, there was a power surge and all the lights went stadium and I said holy crap. Then the breaker box started humming and buzzing, and he rushed over and flipped off the main switch.

Something is screwed up in the wiring that unleashed the 220 voltage from the dryer into the 110 wiring. There's another breaker box for the addition, basement and garage, so I still have electricity in part of the place.

The house also needs a new roof and now I don't have a functioning washer/dryer. And I'm out of propane, so can't run the furnace. I've got space heaters, but can only run them in the area where there's electricity! The kitchen electricity is off, so now my refrigerator is functioning as an icebox with bags of ice.

Anyways -- in an I/M or LoA lens, I have been really wondering WTF.

There is one nagging aspect to all this. I got way behind on the mortgage in 2007/2008 or thereabouts, when I got into the financial trouble. So now there's always back payments owed that I don't seem to be able to clear up. The bank (not the servicer) does not do any modifications on any mortgages whatsoever. The servicing company and I have been working on this all this time. They put me on repayment plans and I manage it for awhile but then something (like this latest debacle) screws it up. They set up a modification under the government plan a couple years ago and we did the three-month trial, but the bank wouldn't go for that either. This year, I have been getting so mad, that I had a running thought for awhile that I would just stick it to them and walk away.

It makes me wonder if, seemingly out of my control, my subconscious mind or whatever is working very hard to fulfill this mission and make sure the bank is really stuck . . . with a house that needs a new roof and doesn't have any heat and now 3/4 of it doesn't have electricity either.

I don't know where to go with this. I have felt so defeated and beaten down this week.

11-26-2011, 11:16 PM	#1 (permalink)
moonrambler Family Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: N.E. Wisconsin Posts: 3,473	Things fall apart? I would like to look at this from an I/M or LoA lens, as that's the focus with which I have pursued my financial goals over the past few years. My income started going steadily up about a year into this pursuit (well, not steadily, more like two steps up, one step back, two steps up, one step back, and so on, but still excellent progress). By this summer, everything was completely on track to pay back all the money I owe, which is a lot, but is a whole lot less than it was a few years ago. Then, blam, my work supply ran out this fall. And my income got cut by about 2/3, and I have not figured out a way to boost it back up substantially. During all this, my house is a mess. I have taken very little time to clean, and it's very cluttered, and I haven't paid much attention to stuff that needs maintenance or repair or replacing, because there hasn't been the extra money to deal with it. In addition, sometimes things seem to "just happen." I had one of those this past week. There was maybe nearly an electrical fire connected with the washer/dryer combo, which I was not running at the time. My friend who lives closest and also has a lot of experience in home renovation rushed over. I had already shut off the circuit breaker, and he went to unplug the dryer. When he did that, there was a power surge and all the lights went stadium and I said holy crap. Then the breaker box started humming and buzzing, and he rushed over and flipped off the main switch. Something is screwed up in the wiring that unleashed the 220 voltage from the dryer into the 110 wiring. There's another breaker box for the addition, basement and garage, so I still have electricity in part of the place. The house also needs a new roof and now I don't have a functioning washer/dryer. And I'm out of propane, so can't run the furnace. I've got space heaters, but can only run them in the area where there's electricity! The kitchen electricity is off, so now my refrigerator is functioning as an icebox with bags of ice. Anyways -- in an I/M or LoA lens, I have been really wondering WTF. There is one nagging aspect to all this. I got way behind on the mortgage in 2007/2008 or thereabouts, when I got into the financial trouble. So now there's always back payments owed that I don't seem to be able to clear up. The bank (not the servicer) does not do any modifications on any mortgages whatsoever. The servicing company and I have been working on this all this time. They put me on repayment plans and I manage it for awhile but then something (like this latest debacle) screws it up. They set up a modification under the government plan a couple years ago and we did the three-month trial, but the bank wouldn't go for that either. This year, I have been getting so mad, that I had a running thought for awhile that I would just stick it to them and walk away. It makes me wonder if, seemingly out of my control, my subconscious mind or whatever is working very hard to fulfill this mission and make sure the bank is really stuck . . . with a house that needs a new roof and doesn't have any heat and now 3/4 of it doesn't have electricity either. I don't know where to go with this. I have felt so defeated and beaten down this week.