Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - A thought on "taking control of your life"

Abuela · 08-21-2007, 04:45 AM

I'm very good at writing quantity without making my point clear, so I need to clarify some things.

In my experience, many folks have confused "being in control of my life" with either or both "doing it all myself to prove that I can" or "thinking only of my own personal best interests."

I have learned that I can be in control of my life and, using that control, make decisions that outsiders may interpret as not being the "right" choice because I've consciously chosen to put someone else's or a relationship's needs above my own personal desires.

I have learned that I don't have to be superwoman - that being in control of my life can and should involve sometimes asking for help and accepting it when offered, whether it be for something as mundane as lifting heavy objects or as emotionally charged as asking for financial or other deeply personal help. On the flip side of that, my offering help doesn't by default make me a good person or demonstrate that I'm in control of my own life enough to be able to help others - sometimes the best choice for being in control of my own life is to sit on my hands, bite my lips, and NOT offer or say yes when asked to help.

I have learned that being in control of my life doesn't mean that I have to make every decision about every little thing that affects me - there is tremendous freedom and personal power sometimes in saying "YOU decide."

08-21-2007, 04:45 AM	#4 (permalink)
Abuela Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 11	I'm very good at writing quantity without making my point clear, so I need to clarify some things. In my experience, many folks have confused "being in control of my life" with either or both "doing it all myself to prove that I can" or "thinking only of my own personal best interests." I have learned that I can be in control of my life and, using that control, make decisions that outsiders may interpret as not being the "right" choice because I've consciously chosen to put someone else's or a relationship's needs above my own personal desires. I have learned that I don't have to be superwoman - that being in control of my life can and should involve sometimes asking for help and accepting it when offered, whether it be for something as mundane as lifting heavy objects or as emotionally charged as asking for financial or other deeply personal help. On the flip side of that, my offering help doesn't by default make me a good person or demonstrate that I'm in control of my own life enough to be able to help others - sometimes the best choice for being in control of my own life is to sit on my hands, bite my lips, and NOT offer or say yes when asked to help. I have learned that being in control of my life doesn't mean that I have to make every decision about every little thing that affects me - there is tremendous freedom and personal power sometimes in saying "YOU decide."