| | 11.23.11
Want to accomplish 3 things in this post:
1.) summary of tape 1 of blueprint program
2.) drawing game improving inspiration from florida texter girl
Blueprint Tape 1 Summary--------------------------------------------------
program about signposts versus ego-based learning
not about memorizing but finding signpost that points you to genuine self
goal started as just approach 5 women a day to get girlfriend
(i.e. rely on volume to get the girl)
then realized could actually build a skill set to increase attraction
(i.e. improve hit rate on women you do meet)
want to take you on a journey from social conditioning to authenticity/self-esteem
think of as continuum (conditioning - authenticity) with most people on the left
most people in the world walk through life in a walking daze
dont know what their values are
dont know who they are
they are being tinkered with by other people
interesting book = sperm wars (robert dawkins?)
what is a chode?
-guy who doesnt have his own values
-no sense of identity
-cares what other people think
-thinks he has to go through social grind to get what he wants in life
you can get good with women you just have to "follow the damn instructions" "the path is laid out"
key question: why cant we get consistent results?
idea that other people are better/worse than you is ALL IN YOUR HEAD
gorgeous, beautiful socially proofed girl versus average looking guy with no special traits --> she's better than me (higher status)...NO...ALL IN YOUR HEAD
realization after going "natural" and getting nervous talking to girl who liked him:
all the tactics were just a shell and very little internally had actually changed
think of trying to teach people game as fitting together a puzzle in your reality
put in a puzzle piece...didnt fit...try again...click fits
continnous trial and error until enough things click that you core beliefs change
when you are talking to someone you should be amusing yourself first, other person second
Florida Texter (Section 2)-------------------------------------------------
Theres a girl I met ONLINE a couple weeks ago in Florida who has continued to text me DAILY even though I have frequently not responded well, promptly or at all. Not only that, she is not desperate. She is a very good looking woman. She is an inspiration to me because she obviously just doesnt care about the bs. She's not thinking "what if this guy doesnt want to talk to me", she's thinking "I want to text this guy so I'm going to". She doesnt use uncertainty about my feelings as an excuse for inaction. I think because she knows...deep down...that it DOESNT MATTER whether I like her or not yet. It only matters that she is interested in me. It doesnt matter because:
i.) being rejected is not a threat to her identity. She knows she is valuable to herself regardless of what other people think of her.
ii.) there could be a million reasons why I am not responding as quickly or enthustiastically as I might be able to, and none of them necessarily imply that I will never like her. Therefore it makes sense to keep trying.
iii.) Texting me is a form of amusement/entertainment for her meaning she gets someting positive out of it regardless of how I respond.
What have I noticed about how she initiates conversations:
1.) VERY RARELY with a question
2.) Frequently references something that is going on in her own life (not planned out. canned)
3.) Genuine expression of emotion without neediness. (especially first intro)
4.) Welcome other observations from anyone reading this...
1.) Was nice talking to you. I'm glad you called even if we didn't meet up.
2.) Obviously its normal to spend an hour on phone at 3 AM with someone you haven't met
3.) Even with Sunday as lazy day, still feel like ran marathon this weekend
4.) My dog apparently thinks dry wall is delicious...
5.) I'm watching [MOVIE]
6.) Sometimes working for big company is pain in ass. Need approval from 5 people for something simple...
7.) Spoiler: it takes xx time to trim my dog's nails
8.) There are people on roof and making dog nuts
Other (Section 3)----------------------------------------------------------
Most of "game" is being able to control "random" factors (i.e. not related to simple attraction) that determine whether or not you end up dating/hooking up with someone. In my life, there have been plenty of instances where I was attracted to someone and they were attracted to me, but still nothing happened. Why? Because the random factors were working against me. Maybe we both happened to be busy for a while after meeting and forgot about each other. Maybe I texted her and the message was boring or she just didnt know how to respond to it. Maybe she got pulled away before I had a chance to take down her number. Maybe I chickened out and never asked for her number. Maybe I chickened out and never even approached her. Point is, we could both be attracted to each other but not end up doing anything about it for any of the reasons cited above and innumerable others.
I need to start focusing more on the subtle things (at all phases of the sales filter):
1.) how many times per day am I approaching?
2.) how often do I ask for numbers after opening (should be 100% of time)
3.) how effective is my opening text message at starting a long text conversation?
4.) how am I transitioning that text conversation into a phone call?
5.) how well is the phone call going?
I bet there are simple rules for most of this. E.g. text messaging: need to send out opening messages that are more intriguing/provocative and dont sound reactive/response seeking.
On a separate note, I'm realizing more and more what a spectator culture we live in (credit OC from blueprint for introducing me to this idea). In my own life, when I am trying to decide between 2 activities, I should be asking myself "which one of these is more action-based, which is more observational? Action-based should take precedence. Will take gradual effort to start incorporating this rule and following through. Remember, taking action is a muscle.
Last edited by bigfoot; 11-24-2011 at 12:06 AM.