| | Week 8 Day 4
Today is a brand new day for me.
Everything heretofore has been prelude.
Really, I begin another 11 week re-wiring of my brain.
These 8 1/2 weeks have brought me to a new base line that I can work from. This is where the real healing will happen. Through today I have been allowing the wretchedness to surface - to let go of the resistance - and to attentively process the knee jerk repressive reflex. The pain has been excruciating.
But today (I have been experiencing a gradual movement towards this) I connected down into my depths in a new way. I can reach the core. So these next 11 weeks will be similar to the past 8 1/2 in that I will be attentive to the process but different in that this is about moving into the core rather than releasing the grip on the trapezoids. Getting into the core will be something new. It will be like going for the gold rather than dreading the triggers that have to be processed. So I think I will actively go for those triggers knowing that I can process them down into the core. Eliminating the dread is beyond anything I have experienced as I have lived in dread each minute of every day for my entire life unless I was in shut down, avoidance or paralysis.
What will life be like? I have no idea. I expect there will be another wonderful 11 weeks after this one. But today I transition into welcoming the triggers and moving it all down into the core.
This is life transforming. The fear of victory can now be process. I have so much to do today. That has always been carried in the shoulders and with dread and certain condemnation. Today it will be different. 11 weeks of rewiring will bring such changes. These past 8 1/2 weeks have been very healing but these next few will be healing and life giving. The first 8 1/2 were claiming from death - now I move into restoration and living. In all of my years I have not yet lived. How exciting this could be.