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I dont know how to start this so I guess I will just start rambling till I get everything across.
No one in my life would probably believe if I told them, but Im empathic.

I felt like I had to share my story with someone and what better way to do it then anonymously on an internet forum.

As long as I can remember I have been able to see and almost feel peoples emotions as if it were another facial expression they have no control over.
No I dont see auras or anything. Its almost like an instinct feeling. Most of the time I have to look at their eyes to pick it up. But if their emotions are strong enough I dont even need to look at them.
Also I get a small taste of their general mind set and a simple glance I can usually sum up if I want to associate my self with a person.
I cant read minds, I cant scan memories. I dont see the future or the past. I just feel peoples emotions and can get a good sum of what their personal as a whole is like through eye contact.

I remember going to school when I was young and a kid was obviously lying.(Obvious to me anyway) He was talking about some spousal abuse going on in his house. I called him out on his lie. Of course it back fired on me. Every one got angry at me and felt like I was trying to take attention away from him.
I just didnt understand why no one else could tell that this kid was lying. I mean it was so obvious, that prideful feeling that radiated off him like bad cologne. He was enjoying telling this lie. It angered me. Why did no one else see it. A few years later I was close friends with this girl and we were both at a mutual friends house and this friend was badly depressed but she wore a smile. After me and my friend left I asked why she was so depressed, and my friend told me she wasnt. I insisted she was and that I could feel that she was. She laughed and said "No one can understand the feelings of another" Thats probably when I realized I was the only one(that I knew of) that could feel what others were feeling.

At this point it began bothering me and weighing heavily on me. Moreso then before. I began to study psychology as I entered high school and continued into college. I studied everything from freudian to Jungion psychology niether of which satisfied me but both gave me hints.

It was rough in highschool for me. I always avoided large crowds and had only a few friends. The only people I came across who didnt have a ill will toward me. Im still best friends with a certain one this day. I never understood why I hated large groups or giving speeches till later in college. I hated most jocks and preps in highschool but not for the same reason others did. Being around them sickened me. Some didnt, only about half, but the jocks and the preps had more access to what bothered me so. Even some students who didnt wear social tags gave me the same ill feeling. I will explain it later.

I really didnt start understanding just what was going on with me till I started dating my first girlfriend right after highschool. This is around the time I really started to take notice of what I could do.
Being deeply emotionally involved with someone really intensified the part of me that could sense others feelings.
She was a friend through out highschool( the same girl i mentioned before) and became near best friends for a while. She dated a few guys along the way always asking me advice. She noticed when I warned her about certain guys I was always right about their intentions. She gaffed it of as "guys can see right through other guys."
Well one day after she broke up with a boyfriend her grandmother died shortly after and I was there to console her. I felt her emotions and prodded around for the right thing to say that got the best emotional response that made her feel better.
Someone else happened during that. She began to have feelings toward me. It didnt feel right though. Something just felt off. Well we started dating. I was able to appease her emotionally in everyway I could find. She bragged to our friends that we had a connection. And being able to sense others emotions came in handy in other parts of our relationship but im not going there.
Then that same sickening feeling I got from the jocks and preps and other general jackasses from my high school started to resurface... from her. It tortured me. I didnt understand it. Why her?
Then I realized. She didnt love me. She just wanted to scratch that itch for a boy friend and the physical pleasures it could bring.
We dated for about another 2 months then broke up with her. Every time we were intimate it was a caring feeling for me, but for her it was like she was scratching an itch, getting rid of a need. And I was simply a tool to help that. It wasnt just there, through out our relationship I was just there to make her feel better. She didnt care for me. She was just nice to me to make sure I would be nice to her.
What a disgusting feeling it was. I dont know why it feels so nasty.
Its something I struggled with all of my life. Lust without love makes me feel like im swimming in the sewer full of fecal matter and other obscenities.
Love different, it feels alot better. I wouldnt say its Pure but it does have a very good feeling to it. The love i feel between older couples and even some younger ones was good. However most couples today radiate with that stench of lust, distrust, and self satisfaction. One sided love is common. Usually a guy is getting his jollies off and the girl is madly inlove. It can be vise verca as well.

Oh well I will move on to something else.

Lying.... the emotions conveyed in lies are as varied as the people telling them.

In all my experiances people lie for pride... to make them selves feel better. Usually this safe feeling you get from hiding behind a lie is replaced with guilt.
Some people dont feel guilt for it... these are the people that scare me the most. They lie so easily with no remorse.
Some people get a feeling of ecstacy from it. I never understood this. Its like the biggest joy in the world for them to decieve someone. They feel clever. I guess they struggle with their own self confidence and lying makes them feel like they are smart because they tricked someone. Thats my theroy anyway.
The term white lie is more common then people think, little lies to protect feelings or otherwise ease a situation are extremely common. I dont go through a day with out feeling it about 20-30 times. And I tend to be a loner so thats alot =p



You would be surprised how someones emotions can effect others. I believe every one has a small sense of others emotions. They may not recognize it or lie to them selves about it. I wonder if my sense isnt just a hyperactive version of what everyone else has. However your emotions can weigh heavily on others. I tend to believe people who hate giving speeches in front of a class and get nervous tend to have a little better sense of emotions then the next. Sometimes I think to my self "Ignorance is bliss, things would be much easier if I didnt know" I hate giving speeches. You would be surprised how often peoples emotions are linked and become a hive mind as you will or a mob. When you are giving a speech a majority of the class has their emotions focused on you. And for me, its torturous. A slew of emotions almost attack you as you give the speech. Everything from people disagreeing with what your giving a speech on. Thinking you stupid is a particularly painful one. Even jealously.. one of the darkest emotions. Thats why I hate being in groups. So many different emotions negative, some positive. But its a mental overload for me. Its very stressful and If im required to be in a large group of people for any reason I will frequently take breaks to the bathroom or other secluded areas just to get a breather.

Once I get alone and no emotions are beating agaisnt me its like I can just let go of all the emotions I have been sensing. Its like releasing a pent up energy in your chest.

Negative emotions tend to linger longer then possitive ones. I guess this is why people say all humans are naturally evil... I tend to disagree. There are all types of people in this world.
Their are people who feel the need to do good deeds....
People that get sick pleasure out of others misery
People who just want to be left alone.
People who dont care either way.
People who just want to have fun and dont care what happens to others.
People who think their better then everyone else and have some twisted desire to prove it.
I could go on and on....

But negative feelings are always the strongest and most lingering.

Especially jealously. I hate jealously. Its one of the worst emotions. It has all the disgusting feelings of lust and desire but with the sting of pent up anger in the fact you know you cant have what you want. Also knowing that if you take what you want it could hurt others feelings.
The best way to discribe jealously? I would have to say it feels venomous...

While jealously feels like venom coursing through the veins.... hatred is not stranger either... while it doesnt feel as dangerous as jealously.. it feels more dark.

Hatred tends to be a relief from jealously. Hating someone or something actually makes you feel better about the situation. You become more emotionally detected then you were before when you become mad or even angry. Anger helps sever emotional ties. Because emotional ties can hurt more then being mad.

Thats why when someone dies or something goes really wrong people want to blame someone. It feels better to be angry and hate them then having an emotional tie.

You would be surprised where the strongest negative emotions arrive in bursts would be...