Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - Relationship Manifestated- Advice would be appreciated

MmeIntentional · 08-17-2007, 10:04 PM

Alexinspire thanks very much for finding the time to respond!

I would like to request you asking yourself these few questions before you decide how you want your relationship to be:

Yes I must admit I was unsure myself at first because of this phobia thingie. However my list didn't have any feelings of fear when I look at it.

1. Is he someone you inspired to be with?

I like the way you put your questions (I've got a massive grin on my face

) Well the funny thing is that when I first saw him I didn't think, Oh he is the man on my list or dreamboard etc. That bit came more or less at end of the day when I was sitting on the sofa with him. Still didn't think to much about it because I didn't want to read into anything.

I know it may sound a bit loose but I just wanted to some, when I saw him. For sure he IS someone that I want to be with on the outside (his looks) hit the bingo mark for me and I felt that reciprocated but we were both trying to compose ourselves, not to be so impressed with each other. But it wasn't just lust nor was it anything mind blowing, something just felt right.

On the inside I found him very shy and highly sensitive, and needed a lot of reasurance that I liked him, even if he knew that he is very attractive. (don't think he feels it deep down inside himself) I found this a turn on. This would normally make me run a mile. We also shared the same level of humour. I was able to open up to him a little also. which was good.

2. Are you fitting him in the checklist?

He came up a high 98.9 %. Well I didn't do an excel chart

just a rough guess. He was a little younger than expected but what's a few years. I already knew that he had problem talking and was OK with that. (men hahaha, I know how to get then to talk without them even knowing it) I don't like the idea of people wanting to change the other person in a relationship as its fuel for disaster in my books. I know in my heart of hearts that if I was really hung up on this guy and it was not going to make me happy I would of just cut it loose from the start.

3. Giving love is more satisfying than wanting love

If anything I give too much love in general with people. I can't change that about myself but I've learnt to be a bit more picky.
I don't see myself as a love trader but I do want to be loved. (yes I do love myself to bits)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLLpL...elated&search=

I didn't want to suffocate him with it all. I accepted that what he didn't do for me and totally agree 100% in what your saying but I closed the door on him as I told him that I didn't want to feel like a muppet and was up for some fun, friendship etc. but he wasn't up for the lunch, activities thing. So with that I did tell him to poke it! I said to him so you don't want to be friends? and he said yes but that was it. We said good bye.

For me it's more about self repect. If you can't give that to yourself. Knowone will ever give it to you. He did seem a but taken back by what I said, knowing that he had pushed it a bit.

Still does not feel finished, because deep down I don't want it to be the end. That's why I think it still feels open.

The funny thing is I'm 100% sure if I just gave him only what he wanted. He will want more from me. I have a track record of this. All my ex bf's wanted me back for some heavy duty stuff.

I have noticed also since our last call on last weekend my phobia with regards to relationships has almost gone ish.

I know I attracted someone that also had a phobia with relationships, this is why I got him. I have to vibrate wisely as I feel better about things.

I will try one more thing and if it works I wil tell you, what I done.
Saying that, I'm now totally fed up with myself spending time thinking about him. It's nuts!

Cheers!

08-17-2007, 10:04 PM	#3 (permalink)
MmeIntentional Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 220	Alexinspire thanks very much for finding the time to respond! I would like to request you asking yourself these few questions before you decide how you want your relationship to be: Yes I must admit I was unsure myself at first because of this phobia thingie. However my list didn't have any feelings of fear when I look at it. 1. Is he someone you inspired to be with? I like the way you put your questions (I've got a massive grin on my face ) Well the funny thing is that when I first saw him I didn't think, Oh he is the man on my list or dreamboard etc. That bit came more or less at end of the day when I was sitting on the sofa with him. Still didn't think to much about it because I didn't want to read into anything. I know it may sound a bit loose but I just wanted to some, when I saw him. For sure he IS someone that I want to be with on the outside (his looks) hit the bingo mark for me and I felt that reciprocated but we were both trying to compose ourselves, not to be so impressed with each other. But it wasn't just lust nor was it anything mind blowing, something just felt right. On the inside I found him very shy and highly sensitive, and needed a lot of reasurance that I liked him, even if he knew that he is very attractive. (don't think he feels it deep down inside himself) I found this a turn on. This would normally make me run a mile. We also shared the same level of humour. I was able to open up to him a little also. which was good. 2. Are you fitting him in the checklist? He came up a high 98.9 %. Well I didn't do an excel chart just a rough guess. He was a little younger than expected but what's a few years. I already knew that he had problem talking and was OK with that. (men hahaha, I know how to get then to talk without them even knowing it) I don't like the idea of people wanting to change the other person in a relationship as its fuel for disaster in my books. I know in my heart of hearts that if I was really hung up on this guy and it was not going to make me happy I would of just cut it loose from the start. 3. Giving love is more satisfying than wanting love If anything I give too much love in general with people. I can't change that about myself but I've learnt to be a bit more picky. I don't see myself as a love trader but I do want to be loved. (yes I do love myself to bits) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLLpL...elated&search= I didn't want to suffocate him with it all. I accepted that what he didn't do for me and totally agree 100% in what your saying but I closed the door on him as I told him that I didn't want to feel like a muppet and was up for some fun, friendship etc. but he wasn't up for the lunch, activities thing. So with that I did tell him to poke it! I said to him so you don't want to be friends? and he said yes but that was it. We said good bye. For me it's more about self repect. If you can't give that to yourself. Knowone will ever give it to you. He did seem a but taken back by what I said, knowing that he had pushed it a bit. Still does not feel finished, because deep down I don't want it to be the end. That's why I think it still feels open. The funny thing is I'm 100% sure if I just gave him only what he wanted. He will want more from me. I have a track record of this. All my ex bf's wanted me back for some heavy duty stuff. I have noticed also since our last call on last weekend my phobia with regards to relationships has almost gone ish. I know I attracted someone that also had a phobia with relationships, this is why I got him. I have to vibrate wisely as I feel better about things. I will try one more thing and if it works I wil tell you, what I done. Saying that, I'm now totally fed up with myself spending time thinking about him. It's nuts! Cheers!