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Hennessey · 11-09-2011, 07:38 AM

Sometimes I finish arguments that I have with friends and family long after we have them. It's like I want to win, and I think "ahh man! I should have said that." I heard people throw ego around a lot, which I also thought had something to do with it, but I mean your ego is part of your mind- it's not like you can get rid of it. Your Id cry's to your ego for things and its your ego's job to do its best to feed or satisfy those cry's. If it can't, especially if it's your own or your ego's own fault for the inadequacy, then it will do everything it can to deny that from your super ego(the judge of your mind). It's a survival instinct, because if the judge thinks your guilty your sentenced to depression or self loathing. To me the arguments I have, even if I put a friends face to the adversary, I am really arguing my ego's side to my super ego. I am pleading my case to the judge of my head. My ego is my ID's lawyer. Did I do my best to get what I need? If my super ego doesn't feel that I did, he will put my mind in turmoil. He will turn my mind against itself, in turn making these mundane arguments mean more than they really do. I mean you have to prove your innocent all the time! I really like the movie about Lenny Bruce. He was imprisoned for crimes that he, and everyone else, thought were ridiculous. But nevertheless he had to defend himself against it. There is a difference between caring to much about what people think of you and feeling that your intentions have been misconstrued. Being misunderstood is a terrible feeling, and is a completely valid reason for inner turmoil - it does not make you vain, especially if the person who misunderstands you is important to you. Lenny Bruce spent the rest of his life in a courtroom, in and out of the courtroom. People would leave his shows because all he would do is argue his case on stage without telling jokes. He was turned into a walking defense mechanism. What he needed to do is talk it out with a therapist, that's what his mind was craving - to be understood and comforted. Sometimes we bury stuff like that and it eats us alive. My biggest problem is feeling that intellectual enlightenment and awareness will fix my problems, but that's not true. I am a human, it is a constant battle for peace of mind, and just because I know what I need doesn't mean I'm getting it. Validation is one of our ego's needs, but sometimes our super ego doesn't have enough evidence to make the ruling - that's when we need others to do it for us. My advice to you is to start validating other people's feelings instead of arguing your case to them, and I think you'll find what goes around comes around.

11-09-2011, 07:38 AM	#21 (permalink)
Hennessey Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 2	none Sometimes I finish arguments that I have with friends and family long after we have them. It's like I want to win, and I think "ahh man! I should have said that." I heard people throw ego around a lot, which I also thought had something to do with it, but I mean your ego is part of your mind- it's not like you can get rid of it. Your Id cry's to your ego for things and its your ego's job to do its best to feed or satisfy those cry's. If it can't, especially if it's your own or your ego's own fault for the inadequacy, then it will do everything it can to deny that from your super ego(the judge of your mind). It's a survival instinct, because if the judge thinks your guilty your sentenced to depression or self loathing. To me the arguments I have, even if I put a friends face to the adversary, I am really arguing my ego's side to my super ego. I am pleading my case to the judge of my head. My ego is my ID's lawyer. Did I do my best to get what I need? If my super ego doesn't feel that I did, he will put my mind in turmoil. He will turn my mind against itself, in turn making these mundane arguments mean more than they really do. I mean you have to prove your innocent all the time! I really like the movie about Lenny Bruce. He was imprisoned for crimes that he, and everyone else, thought were ridiculous. But nevertheless he had to defend himself against it. There is a difference between caring to much about what people think of you and feeling that your intentions have been misconstrued. Being misunderstood is a terrible feeling, and is a completely valid reason for inner turmoil - it does not make you vain, especially if the person who misunderstands you is important to you. Lenny Bruce spent the rest of his life in a courtroom, in and out of the courtroom. People would leave his shows because all he would do is argue his case on stage without telling jokes. He was turned into a walking defense mechanism. What he needed to do is talk it out with a therapist, that's what his mind was craving - to be understood and comforted. Sometimes we bury stuff like that and it eats us alive. My biggest problem is feeling that intellectual enlightenment and awareness will fix my problems, but that's not true. I am a human, it is a constant battle for peace of mind, and just because I know what I need doesn't mean I'm getting it. Validation is one of our ego's needs, but sometimes our super ego doesn't have enough evidence to make the ruling - that's when we need others to do it for us. My advice to you is to start validating other people's feelings instead of arguing your case to them, and I think you'll find what goes around comes around.