Originally Posted by asdf
However, I am constantly feeling like I'm some kind of zombie or I'm stuck in a non-lucid dream. My entire mind is messy and unfocused, everything I perceive is blurry. I am a very intuitive and analytical person - but on the other side, my abilities to perceive and feel seems to be underdeveloped. I am procrastinating even at things I like to do, I am constantly nervous but at the same time also tired. My whole life seems to be very superficial
I could've written this, seriously. It fits everything I've been feeling this year perfectly. The way I'm feeling makes me not want to do anything at all, but I know that's not really an option so I basically just wander around aimlessly, without a clue as to what I'm supposed to do with myself, trapped in some kind of invisible prison. Nothing I ever do brings me any kind of joy or satisfaction anymore, I feel more like an android being remotely controlled than a sentient human being. The feeling is overwhelming and paralyzing. Relaxation is non-existent and inaccessible, and I cannot concentrate on anything with a significant degree of focus. I can only hope this feeling will pass soon, but it's been with me this entire year so far so I'm pretty worried. I can't even sleep at night and expect some temporary relief, my dreams are horrible and extremely disturbing. Life is intolerably miserable with this invisible virtual reality helmet on.