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MmeIntentional · 08-17-2007, 02:57 AM

I didn't get round to doing my thread as yet.

Well

I manifestated to contact my dad who I have not seen for over 5yrs. There was no way of any contact as we both moved country etc more thatn once. However found out from my sister that he had cancer (late stage) She was no longer in contact woith him.....Anyway long story short ...I GOT in contact with him and we was cool for a couple of months moved again but NEVER had the intention of contacting me. He is still alive and was never to sort of person that I would be proud to call dad. Nether the less I just wrote him a not to put closer to the matter as I may never know when and if he pops his cloggs, so to speak. He main intention was to be forgiven before he gets to the golden gate. I have to live with that every single day. It's not the fat of when he will die or not but it's the not knowing which is killing me. I do keep strong but I have the odd 2 days once a month where I crack up big time. (e.g today, I'm OK now )

The other deal is that manifestated a man in my life whhhhooooww. the description 98.9 % I would say. Got confused about the eye color that I wanted but he turned out to have a mix of brown/green. Not bad though!
Long story short we got ok but we BOTH have a phobia of getting close in a relationship. It ended up with me doing a lot of foot and leg work with this guy. He does like me for sure, I know but I had to retract just for self respect. I'm totally devastated by all the drama and I'm trying to forget about it even if deep down I want it to workout. i felt that I done my bit and he need to do more for it to workout. Even though I spent a lot of time thinking/taking action. I'm not a muppet.

The was a gap of a week or so that we did'nt speak then it was on/off and when I backed off 100% I hear from him...
Now I feel that I gave him the message that it's all or nothing. End... but it still feels unfinished..still have feeling for him but have no intention of contacting him.

Also done some EFT and detaching or and over...
Also I keep seeing this mans name pop up everywhere e.g on posters, TV. etc. all the time ... weird. i also have other interest from men but it's not the same bag.

I still have my sense of humour that keeps me going but, you know. It's a tough cookie.

So any advice form anyone reading...I would be grateful for any comments good/bad or indifferent

Thanks

08-17-2007, 02:57 AM	#30 (permalink)
MmeIntentional Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 220	I didn't get round to doing my thread as yet. Well I manifestated to contact my dad who I have not seen for over 5yrs. There was no way of any contact as we both moved country etc more thatn once. However found out from my sister that he had cancer (late stage) She was no longer in contact woith him.....Anyway long story short ...I GOT in contact with him and we was cool for a couple of months moved again but NEVER had the intention of contacting me. He is still alive and was never to sort of person that I would be proud to call dad. Nether the less I just wrote him a not to put closer to the matter as I may never know when and if he pops his cloggs, so to speak. He main intention was to be forgiven before he gets to the golden gate. I have to live with that every single day. It's not the fat of when he will die or not but it's the not knowing which is killing me. I do keep strong but I have the odd 2 days once a month where I crack up big time. (e.g today, I'm OK now ) The other deal is that manifestated a man in my life whhhhooooww. the description 98.9 % I would say. Got confused about the eye color that I wanted but he turned out to have a mix of brown/green. Not bad though! Long story short we got ok but we BOTH have a phobia of getting close in a relationship. It ended up with me doing a lot of foot and leg work with this guy. He does like me for sure, I know but I had to retract just for self respect. I'm totally devastated by all the drama and I'm trying to forget about it even if deep down I want it to workout. i felt that I done my bit and he need to do more for it to workout. Even though I spent a lot of time thinking/taking action. I'm not a muppet. The was a gap of a week or so that we did'nt speak then it was on/off and when I backed off 100% I hear from him... Now I feel that I gave him the message that it's all or nothing. End... but it still feels unfinished..still have feeling for him but have no intention of contacting him. Also done some EFT and detaching or and over... Also I keep seeing this mans name pop up everywhere e.g on posters, TV. etc. all the time ... weird. i also have other interest from men but it's not the same bag. I still have my sense of humour that keeps me going but, you know. It's a tough cookie. So any advice form anyone reading...I would be grateful for any comments good/bad or indifferent Thanks