[Boreas]

I have been getting a lot of the same feelings lately. I have always been afraid of letting people know who I am, and what all my thoughts and dreams are. This is because I always feel that they are typical, and I never want to seem like a typical person.

Most of the time I am happy in my thoughts, but sometimes loneliness also hits me like a punch in the stomach. I think it is because sometimes I just want someone to be interested in me, and hear my ideas, and like them, or present a different idea, or laugh at my jokes. In other words, it is like I have to be made to feel special by someone.

At these times I usually try to remember that I have to be happy with myself first, if I run to people for happiness, it will always be a mistake. I try to calm my mind and my ego, I try to put myself in the present moment, and focus on what I have. It isn't easy, but I am practicing, and usually it helps.

Social relationships only work for me when I am aware of my own power, my confidence to be alone. It is sort of a strange thought, but when you are lonely you want to build your confidence and be happy with who you are. If you look for friends when you are lonely, then you are looking for someone to validate all your insecurities, all the things that make you feel bad about yourself, you want someone to tell you that it is OK, when in fact, no person can fill that need for you, you are the only person who can do that. Once you have done that, and you are not lonely, then you can have good relationships with people....