Casey it occured to me that your wifes not caring about your living environment is an external manifestation of you not caring about your internal environment.
Start caring about your life on the inside, and by that I mean showing up, being fully present in the moment and experiencing joy rather than just waiting for each day to end and dreading the next day. I would be willing to bet money that when you made that internal change your wife's messiness would no longer be an issue.
I'm sure Steve blogged about this very issue about how erin's untidiness reflected something inside him that was messy and as soon as he sorted it out internally, erin tidied the house! (I'm paraphrasing here!)
Good luck.
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