[CoolStuff]

It's weird because I've been reading since I was 3, which I understand is earlier than most people. They wanted to advance me two years in school, but I thought it would make me lose friends and put me back socially. I should have done it. I don't know if I dumbed myself down or what, I was always ahead then kinda evened out by 5th/6th grade.

But anyway my problems with reading and words is this:
I can read stuff but I have a really hard time understanding it, even when I really try to soak it in. It's weird because I'm mostly a technical person, and finally started developing my creativity now. Also I'll say basic things like "that's deep" but I can never really express it, so I guess I don't really know if I understood it or not. Writing things down tends to help, but not all that much. I can still read articles and kinda get the gist of it and stuff.

I think it's partially a problem of getting immersed, because at school I kinda slipped into this thing where I'm really good at reading or doing something without actually understanding it or caring about it. I'm pretty sure this is exactly what they want with the school system, but I'm trying to break out of it.

Sometimes I'll kinda mumble and trail off, which I think leads people. I don't like words too much I guess. But I do appreciate great songs with deep meanings and stuff, I don't know why. However I tried to read a poem today (I was interested) but it didn't help. Also when I heard poems aloud it was better, but I still have trouble concentrating (again I think this happened at school). However I watched a video on youtube of someone's poem and there was a lot of energy, and I really liked it and felt like I had a great understanding of it and even appreciated the words.

So I think the problems lie in:
- getting immersed
- expressing myself with words (though I am in groups which allow me to do this more often, so I'm developing it, but I still feel I'm not too good at it)
- energy from where the words are coming from