I think you've already received some great advice. It takes a lot of courage to post and ask for help on this level... I applaud you.
Don't try to be a different person, or change who you are; focus on trying to be grateful for who you are. As hard as it may be to see anything through the shame, things are there! You can be grateful for the courage it took to reach out on the forum, or grateful for the eyes that you have that allow you to read and participate here. That's a start!
Best of luck.. you will be in my thoughts.