Quote:
Originally Posted by Matthew Shea  Forgiveness isn't really an act; it's a state of mind. It's something that happens naturally when you learn to love people for who they are and when you learn to accept your own imperfections. It also involves outright rejection of victimhood. ... Forgiveness tends to come naturally when you see the "wrong" that was committed as being a human failing of the offender in addition to choosing to reject the status of being a victim of that wrong. It also involves an attitude of always making the best of out whatever hand you're dealt. |
I really like Matthew's response as it ties in with my belief that so much of being angry at someone's cutting you off in traffic or taking credit for your work is about accepting your own imperfections. I noticed that when I worked on releasing judgment (still working on it!) the less angry I became. When I let go (again, still working on it!) of the "shoulds" like "He should do this." and "Don't they know they should do .." I released a lot of judgment and criticism and along with them, anger.
I try to look at the situation from the other person's point of view and not make any assumptions. I've done some whacky driving moves unintentionally and who knows what is going on in another driver's head.
I can see being upset with someone taking credit for my work (I've been in that situation!) and I don't confront when I'm angry. Of course, I am not confrontational by nature but I will assert myself if I have to.
When it comes to confrontation I do try to work from a good state that is, I don't want to be upset and hurt and angry. In the case of someone taking credit for my work, I realized that speaking with the person was pointless - he truly thought he was responsible. I just had a quiet talk with our manager who knew the score.
Line-cutting situations? Usually not worth it to me to confront. My thought on that is, Well, guess you need the time more than I. Sometimes the person has no idea they cut in front of me! So why make a big deal of it. Like Matthew said, I reject victimhood. Interestingly, some people will get upset FOR me.
When I get angry I wonder why. Isn't there a quote about how the people who upset us or who are the most difficult to like are our best teachers?