Originally Posted by m18pak
I have tried so hard in every way to stop being me. I have tried.
I used to try to stop being me, too - and I found the key to change was complete self-acceptance. Acceptance of me in this moment, warts and all. At several points, severe depression and all. I'm finding I'm exactly who I'm supposed to be -- and I suspect the same is true of you, too!
I second Erin's suggestion to help out others, in any way you're drawn to. It will help "get you out of yourself". Take frequent walks in nature - at first, it might not feel like it makes a difference, but it will, just keep it up. I'm feeling it would help you to open your eyes and look around - it's like you've been facing inward such a long time, you forgot there's a whole world out here. Find five things that don't have anything to do with you to be grateful for -- flowers, a beautiful tree, a dog. Whatever you're drawn to, those are my things, your things might be *completely* different.
You are perfect just as you are, completely perfect. I promise this will pass.