Originally Posted by Cado
My initial reaction to someone saying something like that is, "what are we, eight?"
"Nice" is overrated. Sometimes you need people to sink their teeth in you in order to grow-and even if you don't deserve it it's an opportunity to examine and strengthen yourself.
It's not really anyone else's call to make, whether you need that or you don't, but as this is a public, growth oriented forum I think it serves a very important purpose. If we made this a smaller, more focused community it would probably be wise to disable the feature, but in the mixing pot that exists now I'd say anything that isn't an outright personal attack or vulgar beyond reason should be allowed.
I can say, in my own experience, that when I've felt great there's often been no drive to examine myself. It's when I get a boot to the face that I pause and think about things, and explore those feelings I'd previously ignored. I'm getting better about being proactive with that but I'd be lying through my teeth if I said the 'bad' feelings those instances invoked weren't instrumental in my progress.
Huh. Well that's a pretty polar opposite philosophy to mine.
I think we can grow from anything. I agree a boot in the face can be a learning experience, but for me to go looking for a boot in the face is nothing but masochism. A proper response would be, "OK, I'm going to learn what this boot is telling me, and I'm also going to learn to listen to what's happening in life so that I don't need boots to keep coming to teach me."
Boots in the face first of all mean that you need to learn to learn. And if boots are the only way you have to get a message across, that in the same way means you need to learn to teach.
God damn, I understand the philosophy of not cringing from pain but to go out and look for unecessary pain just sounds like madness to me.