Hey,
Re the first part: you say you know she means it when she says she loves you and you also say that you have a lot of "proof" of this. As you seem to identify, the problem seems to be with you. I suggest finding ways to build your self-confidence, eg get fit (if you aren't already). Appreciate the good things you have to offer. Love yourself and love your life.
Re the second part: personally I have found that my love for my partner has grown over time. It was probably at about the 3 month mark when we first said 'I love you' to eachother... but I have probably never loved my partner more than when she was carrying, and eventually gave birth to, our son (2.5 years after we started dating).
It is pretty early days in your relationship.... chill out and enjoy the ride.
ps I have (for the most part) overcome many social phobias... so it is possible! Good luck.
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