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Life Warrior · 08-14-2007, 04:48 AM

Hey DaleCall,

I emphasize with your situation. You want to know if she is right for you and if something meaningful is coming out of your relationship together. But you have to realize that there is no such thing as a perfect lover, and love is something that develops from two people sharing their imperfections together.

Yes, there is such a thing as a romantic love, and yes you will feel it stronger than anything you've ever felt if your relationship reaches that point. But there is also real love, the lasting love which comes after romantic love - the love which comes after much pain and suffering as you both work through your positive and negative sides together, but which is ultimately worth all the suffering in the end.

I think you have to give your relationship time to develop. Try to see your girlfriend for what she is, and not whether she fits your perfect lover's stereotype or not, because chances are that she does not in many ways. But the point is for both of you to be receptive to each other and not let unreal expectations and preconceptions get in the way. Try to leave all your expectations behind when you are with her, and think of each moment with her as a chance to create something unique and special together. Listen to your heart, and try to find ways for both of you to express yourselves in the most sincere way when you are together.

And like all things in life, don't take it all too seriously and always keep your sense of humor. Good luck!

Edit:

I've read your post again, and I see that you are more afraid of loosing her because you may not be good enough for her than the other way around. Yes, you both aren't perfect, and your fear of not being good enough and lack of belief in your positive qualities can undermine your relationship.

Ask yourself what positive things you can bring to this relationship and share with her. What is unique about you that you can give her that no other person would be able to provide? Never try to be someone you are not, and believe in yourself and your positive side. If you look for the negative qualities in both of you, you will find them; but the same goes for your positive sides. In the end, it is the mutual interaction and being completely honest and open with each other that matters and what leads to love.

08-14-2007, 04:48 AM	#2 (permalink)
Life Warrior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: boston area Posts: 52	Hey DaleCall, I emphasize with your situation. You want to know if she is right for you and if something meaningful is coming out of your relationship together. But you have to realize that there is no such thing as a perfect lover, and love is something that develops from two people sharing their imperfections together. Yes, there is such a thing as a romantic love, and yes you will feel it stronger than anything you've ever felt if your relationship reaches that point. But there is also real love, the lasting love which comes after romantic love - the love which comes after much pain and suffering as you both work through your positive and negative sides together, but which is ultimately worth all the suffering in the end. I think you have to give your relationship time to develop. Try to see your girlfriend for what she is, and not whether she fits your perfect lover's stereotype or not, because chances are that she does not in many ways. But the point is for both of you to be receptive to each other and not let unreal expectations and preconceptions get in the way. Try to leave all your expectations behind when you are with her, and think of each moment with her as a chance to create something unique and special together. Listen to your heart, and try to find ways for both of you to express yourselves in the most sincere way when you are together. And like all things in life, don't take it all too seriously and always keep your sense of humor. Good luck! Edit: I've read your post again, and I see that you are more afraid of loosing her because you may not be good enough for her than the other way around. Yes, you both aren't perfect, and your fear of not being good enough and lack of belief in your positive qualities can undermine your relationship. Ask yourself what positive things you can bring to this relationship and share with her. What is unique about you that you can give her that no other person would be able to provide? Never try to be someone you are not, and believe in yourself and your positive side. If you look for the negative qualities in both of you, you will find them; but the same goes for your positive sides. In the end, it is the mutual interaction and being completely honest and open with each other that matters and what leads to love. Last edited by Life Warrior; 08-14-2007 at 12:39 PM.