Quote:
Originally Posted by CaterpillarWoman  The Aussie "she'll be right, mate" attitude used to frustrate the hell out of me when I first moved here (from the U.S.). It took me a few years to really get into it, but now, I can really appreciate that attitude. Sometimes, yeah, it's a cover for laziness, but a lot of the time, it's just this laid back, casual kind of way of approaching life that can be very appealing. I've learned a lot about stress management since I moved to Australia. She'll be right, mate.  |
I remember reading this Two Cows Joke a while back, particularly finding the Italian, Australian, and New Zealand versions the most hilarious. I think if the world lived with more of a "She'll be right, mate" attitude, we'd probably have much fewer nails bitten to the quicks and a much lower rate of suicide. It's refreshing to see that people still remember that life is too short to worry so much, so we should just all have a beer instead.
I wish we could apply this way of life over here in America, but people are just so hell bent on working and proving themselves successful they forget sometimes that it's ok to relax and reward yourself just for being alive and happy. We always have to have a reason to celebrate and forget that life is plenty enough to celebrate all on it's own.
I've said since I was a little girl I wanted to move to Australia. I WILL one day. I WILL.
Economic Models Explained
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk..
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped
dead.
AN ENGLISH BANK
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using
letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so
that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five
cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an
intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the
majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back
to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an
option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States,
leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because
you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary
cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and
market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a
month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade
your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of
Democracy....
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.
A SPANISH CORPORATION
You have 20,000 cows
200 of them hard work while the remaining complain and ♥♥♥♥♥.
Then another 19.800 cows are required(?) from cheaper farms.
Finally all 20,000 cows get CCC rating, but we dont care cuz we are EuroCup Champions and Antonio Banderas is spanish.