Originally Posted by aelle
Oh, of course! People can be flawed, and this flaw can just happen to fit a gender stereotype. What I see as problematic is the systemic judgement (do we look for uselessness in our male partners? Do they try to interpret or dismiss what we say as nagging or control?) Also, I'm bothered by the helplessness in this trope: "Oh, men! (sigh!) You know how they are! (eyeroll) Completely useless! (throw up your hands in the air) Useless useless! But what are you going to to about it, that's how they are, boys will be boys (sigh)..."
Nope. I expect better.
LOL! I think most of what we were talking about was just joking to hit back at RR's joke simply because the opportunity arose, but some ladies are like that.
My husband really does pretend to be incompetent concerning housework, though, and that is being completely honest with you. He refuses to do laundry because he says he doesn't know how to use the machines and if he cleans, it usually consists of picking things up off the floor, placing them on coffee tables or surfaces close by, then vaccuming and replacing all said objects.
These things do not bother me, though, because he also works 60-80 hours per week. If he does not want to clean, he shouldn't have to. My role is a typical housewife and that is something I don't mind a single bit (except on laundry days). I enjoy being the person who is responsible for the household. I think I would rather work, but impossible right now with so many small children, so for now I don't expect him to clean or anything. Just how the distribution of duties go in my particular home.
As a matter of fact, because he is gone so much, I do the "man" jobs around here like taking out the trash and mowing the lawn, weedeating, etc., as well. It's fine. Just like the toilet last night. LOL! It would have been nice to have him to take the sucker apart and hoist it into the bathtub, but hey whatever. It's just how it works here. I have some few extra "man" skills for whenever I need them and HOPEFULLY (for his sake) if he ever needs "woman skills," he's only pretending not to know how to use a washer and dryer.
I think women complain, in what I've seen with my friends, more out of a way to kind of highlight how helpless their husbands are...it's hard to explain. I've often wondered about it, but my friends will have an entire burst of conversation based on the things their husbands can't do or won't do. It's almost a reminder (for those of us who are housewives) of why we are important because at times it is very hard to FEEL important when you basically have the role of babysitter/chef/maid. So my conclusion on reasoning for this behavior is that it's a bit of a self-worth booster, as silly as that sounds.