Society conditions us to attach certain labels to our relationships and then to assign meanings to those labels. For example, being single has a different meaning than being someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife.

At some point in the course of your relationships, you may be tempted to change the labels. Are we boyfriend and girlfriend now or just dating? Let’s be exclusive with each other. Let’s get engaged.

A label is an association, and labels come with their own attached associations. For example, what does the label wife mean to you? What can and can’t a wife do? For some people this can be a very restricting label with all sorts of rules about that particular role. For someone else it may not be nearly as restrictive.

Once you label a relationship (any kind of relationship between two or more entities — not just a human-to-human relationship), you give it form and structure by way of associating it with other labels and meanings.

Social conditioning

Social conditioning affects us in two ways. First, we may have a tendency to pre-judge others based on their associated labels. If you know someone is single vs. married, does that change how you relate to the person? I’ve definitely had that bias. For example, I’d probably be a lot less flirtatious with a woman who was married… unless she also had an associated label like polyamorous, open marriage, or separated.

The second way social conditioning affects us is through the labels others associate to us. For example, if I’m flirting with a woman that I just met at a party, and we’re having a great rapport going, and then I casually mention being married (such as while telling her a story), her energy will often shift noticeably, and the nature of our interaction changes. Why is that so? Why is it even necessary? Why give our power away to labels?

On the other hand, when I’m conversing with people that are very conscious and aware, I notice that labels have less impact on them. The more conscious and aware someone is, the more social conditioning they’ve shed, and the more power of choice they retain. So when a label is used, it doesn’t matter as much. A conscious person knows that in any moment we’re free to make new choices and that labels have no power over us. So they don’t give their power away to labels.

Highly conscious people have more relationship options. They take full responsibility for their choices, and they expect others to do the same. As a result they have much more flexibility in how they relate to people. They largely ignore labels and focus on their freedom to connect.

The more social conditioning you can release, particularly by letting go of labels, the more relationship opportunities you’ll have, and the more intimacy abundance you’ll be able to experience.

Living without labels

Labels can be useful tools at times, such as for the purposes of communication, but they can easily be abused. If a label unduly restricts your freedom of choice, you’re giving too much power away, and you’re crossing the border from conscious living to unconscious living.

This was a tough lesson for me to learn. When I announced at the beginning of this year that I was polyamorous, there was a backlash of all sorts of judgments from people I’ve never even met. Some of it was positive praise (which seemed undeserved), and some was harsh criticism (which seemed equally undeserved). After all, I hadn’t actually done anything yet. I merely switched the labels I used to define my relationship path. Other than blogging about it, no real action had been taken. So it was interesting to see how much power people gave to those particular labels.

And again when Erin and I separated last month, we dropped the label of marriage from our relationship path. And some people freaked out about it… people that never even met us. Now that we’re about a month into our separation, Erin and I can clearly see that this was the right choice for both of us. By shedding the marriage label, we’ve both restored our freedom to make conscious choices without being boxed in. And each of us is happily taking actions that most people would consider inappropriate for a married couple, yet they bring us much joy.

For example, if you haven’t already seen it, check out the video blog Erin posted of her firing a handgun. While we were married, I never would have thought that was something she’d ever want to do. My sweet Erie? No way! But as a newly independent woman, she’s making fresh choices. She no longer finds it necessary to ask permission or negotiate with me. If she wants to do something, she knows she’s free to up and do it. It’s quite refreshing to see her creating a new path for herself that is different from the path we were previously pursuing together. I’m really enjoying seeing her as a unique person instead of merely through the lens of the wife label.

Should I be worried that my ex-wife is suddenly getting into lethal weapons training? Yes, honey, of course you can have the car.

I’m not ready to publicly share the specifics of what I’ve been up to lately, but suffice it to say that I’m experiencing the opposite of loneliness. Much like Erin, I’m also enjoying experiences that lie outside the scope of our old marriage box, and I’m ridiculously happy about it.

In retrospect I think the decision to explore polyamory was part of the process of breaking out of the marriage box. But then there was a risk of moving into a new box called polyamory, so I found it best to dump that label as well. I find that I’m a lot happier and enjoy much richer experiences when I do my best to shun labels altogether. So I can’t really say whether I’m monogamous or polyamorous right now. Neither label seems to make sense at this point.

Perhaps the way to describe what’s going on in my relationship life at this point is to say that I’m riding a roller coaster in the dark. I can’t see where the track is going, but it’s quite a fun ride.

Stepping outside your comfort zone

Living without labels can feel very uncomfortable at first. Don’t expect it to be predictable and secure.

I’m gradually getting used to this, but it currently remains outside my comfort zone. Fortunately I’ve been getting a lot of help from some very conscious friends.

A while back I was talking to a very close female friend, and I was confused about where our connection was headed. The ways in which we connected were so deep, open-ended, and flowing that I had no way of predicting the path ahead, and I found that very unsettling. We had multiple conversations where I was trying to assess where we were (often by trying to assign labels) and where we expected to go next (more labels). Those conversations gave me some relief initially, but the assigned labels tended to stunt our interactions, and a week later I’d be forced to drop those labels anyway, only to reconsider them once again at a later date. Our connection seemed to take on a life of its own, and any attempts to define it appear foolish in retrospect.

Since this approach clearly wasn’t working, I eventually dropped it. That wasn’t remotely easy and felt like jumping out of an airplane. I had to learn to let go and trust instead of trying to control and direct.

What helped me was seeing how I already applied this pattern in my past. That’s how I created a situation of financial abundance. I used to be really tight with my finances, but a control strategy never gave me a sense of abundance. In most cases it only perpetuated more scarcity. When I switched to holding abundant intentions, shifting my vibration to a place of abundance, and welcoming what showed up (as explained in this video), that worked beautifully. It was very uncomfortable to step into that space at first, but now it feels so natural that I can’t imagine going back to a tight control strategy with respect to my finances. I just assume there will always be an abundant flow of money through my life, and there always is; however, I can’t predict specifically where it will come from or when and how it will arrive.

When I recognized that intimacy abundance must follow the same principles, I was able to use my finances as a reference experience that made it easier to let go and trust. There’s more to it than that of course (creating value for others is another key element, whether you’re dealing with relationships or finances), but it was a huge breakthrough for me to see that letting go and trusting were necessary in order to attract and enjoy intimacy abundance.

As I learned to let go of labels, I noticed that many of my relationships improved dramatically, practically overnight.

At first it was just like riding a roller coaster in the dark. I couldn’t see the track, so I had no idea where the coaster was heading. The twists, turns, loops, and plunges all surprised me. But I gradually got used to it and decided to simply enjoy the ride. Instead of seeing the surprises as a bad thing (unpredictability that could lead to a crash), I started seeing them as fun and exhilarating. This took a lot of getting used to, especially since I was emerging from a very stable, predictable marriage pattern.

A few of my relationships took unexpected turns. But I did my best to follow the flow of these connections instead of feeling like I should direct them to some particular aim or assign them clean labels and compartmentalize them.

Living in the flow

This is a messier way to live. In some ways I have less control over my life, but I can’t deny that I’m also much, much happier for it. My relationships give my life so much richness; they provide an endless supply of fun, joyful experiences and a sense of deep, soulful connectedness. Each day is an unfolding mystery where anything is possible. Labels only get in the way, so I do my best to avoid them when possible. Instead, I just let each relationship flow as it will.

These realizations have completely shifted how I live my life. For example, I’ve been using the Internet a lot less and spending much more time on the phone and hanging out with people face-to-face. That’s partly why I haven’t posted a new blog entry in more than a week — I’ve been too busy focusing on my social life. In the past month, I used up an entire year’s worth of accumulated rollover minutes on my cell phone. I also finally bought a Bluetooth headset so I can be hands-free during the hours I spend on the phone each day.

If I could lock down each relationship in my life with a tidy label, this volume of communication wouldn’t be necessary. The boxes would be well defined, and I could simply take them for granted (i.e. this person is a friend, this person is an intimate partner, this person is a playmate, etc). But now I see relationships as being all about flow. I’m doing my best to listen more, to sit back and enjoy the ride, and to relax into this new space of being.

Freedom

Freedom is an essential ingredient in a healthy relationship. When freedom is sacrificed, choices become more limited, and when choices are too restricted, unconscious behavior patterns replace conscious living, and true happiness becomes a distant fantasy.

I spent much of the past 15 years giving a lot of my power to labels, such as marriage, husband, wife, committed, monogamous, etc. Now I can see what a huge mistake that was and how it created far more scarcity than abundance.

I’m reminded of this quote from Helen Keller, one of my all-time favorites:

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits
in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.

The daring adventure is the path of freedom. The more you curtail your freedom, the more you shun the daring adventure and end up with nothing.

I remember when I first got married in March 1998. It was a very comfortable place to be. As a husband with a wife, my relationship life was now well defined — by myself, by my wife, by our friends and families, and by the rest of society. We had a clear sense of our roles. We had very few disagreements about where the boundaries were.

For a while I embraced life in that box. It was like sinking into a soft recliner chair. I had secured an amazing woman, and she had secured me. We were both deeply in love with each other. There was no doubt about that whatsoever. I could finally relax. My relationship life was now complete. It was a safe and snuggly place to be — and yet it was a total self-delusion.

For whatever reason, this untamable character called personal growth was living in that marriage box too. At first he was quite happy. The box was large and interesting and fun to explore. There were lots of rooms to visit, such as having children. But over time, this guy grew discontent with life inside the box, and he started feeling restless. He began to push against the walls. Eventually he realized that the box was entirely of his own creation, and he decided to step outside of it and reclaim his freedom.

I think that if you’re on a path of conscious growth, and you try to label any of your relationships, you’ll eventually outgrow those labels. So consider that it may be wisest not to bother with labels in the first place. Either the labels will betray you, or you’ll end up betraying the labels. You are too free and untamable to be labeled.

Instead of relating to people on the basis of labels, try relating to them on the basis of freedom and choice. We’re free to connect with each other however we see fit. Our decisions have consequences, some of which may be unpredictable to us. But if we surrender ourselves to all possible outcomes, then we can avoid giving our power away to our labels.

Broken hearts

What is a broken heart? A broken heart is a label failure. It is a crushed box. I thought we were X to each other, and now you’re telling me we’re Y?

A broken heart is the result of violated expectations. But in the area of human relationships, your expectations are vain attempts to predict and control the path of your heart. The heart has its own agenda, and it won’t always respect your logical choices. So in order to align yourself with truth in this area, you must accept and surrender to this unpredictability.

Enjoy your relationships in the present moment, but do your best not to get overly attached to their being a particular way. Otherwise you’re setting yourself up for a badly broken heart.

To avoid a broken heart, don’t close your heart to others. Instead, open your heart more than ever. Open your heart to all possible connections, and don’t get hung up on labels. If a connection feels good to you, invite it in and explore it. Allow it to flow wherever it wants to go, and enjoy the exhilaration of the ride.

You will still encounter some sorrow — sometimes the roller coaster takes an unexpected plunge — but if you keep your heart open, that sorrow will soon pass, and joy will reside in your heart once again. A traumatic roller coaster ride needn’t ruin your entire year. Simply switch to a different ride, and you’ll soon be having fun once again. A closed heart heals very slowly, but an open heart heals quickly.

Intimacy abundance

Intimacy abundance is about your connection to all that is. This abundance may manifest through a deep relationship with one other person, but most likely it will manifest as a path with many twists and turns involving relationships with different people. Since we are all one, it doesn’t really matter where these connections come from.

Don’t focus so much on trying to be deeply intimate with any one particular person. You run the risk of substituting attachment and addiction for unconditional love and connection. Instead, focus on being intimate with yourself and with life itself. Realize that you’re already intimately connected with everyone. There is no ice to be broken. We’re all part of the same whole.

If you maintain a deep, intimate connection with yourself and with all life, your human relationships will reflect that. You’ll attract new intimate partners with little or no effort because you won’t be resisting or labeling them. You will simply allow them. And it’s hard for people not to want to relate to those who fully and completely accept them as they are.

From this place of awareness, you may manifest an incredibly deep relationship with one particular person, or you may manifest multiple relationships. It could take the form of monogamy, serial monogamy, polyamory, or any mixture of these. It may even take the form of celibacy (not for me though!).

Locking yourself into fixed relationship patterns — i.e. Ahh… I have a girlfriend now — may seem like a good idea, but for highly conscious people, it becomes too much of a trap. Even a beautiful looking box is still a box. Conscious people don’t need boxes to define themselves and their relationships. Instead they bring fresh choices to each relationship in the present moment.

Avoid succumbing to the “grass is greener on the other side” pattern. Which label is better? Single or married? Monogamous or polyamorous? Friends or lovers? You can’t drink the wine in front of you, and you can’t drink the wine in front of someone else. Both glasses are poisoned. The only sensible choice is to drink straight from the bottle. The bottle is abundance.

Achieve new breakthroughs in your habits, career, finances, relationships, health, and spiritual development. Register now to attend the transformational 3-day Conscious Growth Workshop in Las Vegas, January 15-17, 2010.

© 2009 by Steve Pavlina.

Slide Into Your New Reality

Did you ever see the TV show Sliders?

In that show a group of four people would “slide” through a portal between dimensions, spending each episode in an alternate version of earth. For example, they might enter a reality where the Nazis won WWII. Or in another reality one of them might be a famous performer.

Another TV show that can give you the right idea is Quantum Leap. In that show a man spent each episode in someone else’s body in an alternative time and place.

Imagine you’re a Slider or a Quantum Leaper, and you just slid through a portal into your new desired reality — into that new YOU as well. You’re already there living it. The whole reality already exists in some alternate dimension, and you’re now experiencing it as real.

Put yourself in the shoes of that new person. Witness through his/her eyes how s/he goes through a typical day. Imagine that you’re in an episode of Sliders or Quantum Leap.

What time do you get up in the morning? Who’s sleeping next to you? Where are you? How do you feel? What do you eat for breakfast? What do you do in the morning, afternoon, and evening?

You must imagine yourself as already being there. You want to reach the point where it feels natural and normal to be there. After all, this is your reality, isn’t it? So of course it will feel normal in a way. You’re already used to it.

Initially the Sliders/Leapers were freaked out when they entered the new reality. It took them a while to figure it out and understand it. Eventually they got used to it and were able to get things done within that reality.

This is what will happen when you visualize a new reality for yourself. At first it may seem like an alien environment. You’ll have to play around with it for a while before you get used to it and it starts to seem normal to you. It’s very important that you push beyond that freak-out phase. You must shift from thinking about your visions as FANTASY to seeing them as REAL.

A good movie to watch is Being John Malkovich. That will give you more insight into how to slip into an alternate reality and imagine life through the lens of your new character.

Ideally, visualizing your future should be very much the same as remembering your past. Just as you would recall and mentally review what you did yesterday, that’s how you want to imagine your new reality. What are the highlights of your typical day, and how do you feel about them?

Notice that emotional memories are much stronger than routine events. Such memories can draw the past back into your present, but they can also draw a powerful future into your present if you create powerful new memories of the future.

Partial Visualization

One of the most common mistakes people make is that they fall into the trap of doing partial visualizations. They only imagine one or two aspects of their new reality but not the entire big picture. Or they’ll imagine something that makes them feel a certain way, but it wouldn’t actually be a part of their desired reality.

For example, you may imagine seeing a pile of cash on your table and counting the bills. A lot of people suggest this exercise as a way of manifesting more money. I think it’s a lame idea though.

If you really had financial abundance, would you actually have a pile of cash currency in your home? That seems unlikely. If you were already living it, playing with your money or obsessing over it would be silly and immature. That’s the sort of thing someone would do only if they weren’t already living it.

Partial visualizations manifest partial results. You may attract part of what you want, but it will be unstable because you’ve only locked on to some, but not all, of the necessary frequencies required to shift into that new reality. You may be able to visit it briefly, but you won’t be able to stay long.

When I was around 24-25 years old, I read the book Think and Grow Rich, and I started doing partial visualization exercises to attract more money into my life. I imagined having about half a million dollars as a pile of cash on my bed. I felt the texture of the bills with my fingers. I saw it as very real and imagined what it would feel like to have that much cash all at once.

Sometime after that (I don’t recall how long — a few months maybe), I entered into a new game publishing deal with a total advance of $675,000. I soon received the first installment in the form of a check for $50,000, which was the biggest check I’d ever received at that point in my life. It appeared that my intention had manifested.

However, this situation was incredibly unstable. The publisher turned out to be extremely corrupt. First, they screwed up the deal with seemingly insane delays and nonsensical decisions. Then they unilaterally breached our contract. And finally they tried to sue me (unsuccessfully) to recoup the $50K advance. Looking back, it appears that their goal was to tie up my team’s project so that it wouldn’t hit the market… while they had another team developing a potentially competing game. The initial $50K I received was spent on early development for a game that was never released. In the end I was left with a busted project and more debt than when I started. If I could have afforded the legal fees (which I couldn’t at the time), I may have been able to successfully sue them for breach of contract, but that simply wasn’t how I wanted to do business. I wanted to spend my time making games, not giving depositions.

Years later this same publisher was publicly exposed for a massive accounting scandal, and the company and several officers were sued by the SEC. If I recall correctly, their CEO was fined $10 million and had to step down. That came as no surprise to me and many other developers who worked with them.

Not a good manifestation!

Although it seemed promising in the beginning, this attempt to manifest money completely imploded and left me worse off than when I started — aside from learning some very tough lessons, which in retrospect turned out to be quite valuable.

I hope you can learn from my mistakes here and not succumb to the trap of partial visualization. In order to manifest your desires, you need to lock on to the total package of frequencies and the full range of emotions that you’ll experience in your new reality. And one of the best ways to do that is to get really, really clear about what you want.

Complete Visualization

Don’t just visualize one small part of your new reality, such as having more money come to you. Visualize the entire alternate reality you wish to enter, in as much detail as possible.

It’s okay to focus on one area of your life at a time. I personally find it rather difficult to visualize a whole new life for myself that covers career, finances, health, relationships, my daily habits, spiritual development, personal development, etc. So I generally focus on one area at a time, but I do my best to make sure it’s congruent with my desires in other areas too.

A few years ago I focused on creating financial abundance. Then I worked on social abundance (having lots of friends). Now I’m working on intimacy abundance (creating deeper relationships). All of these parts of my life are working beautifully right now. This process definitely works. Sometimes it works so well it scares me a bit.

Career and finances are good areas to visualize together since most people generate income via their careers. Don’t just imagine yourself having more money. Put in some detail about what is sustaining that flow of money. How is it being maintained?

My initial attempts to manifest money flopped (or made things worse) because the big picture was incongruent. I was trying to pull money out of thin air, figuring it would come to me like magic. Well, this isn’t magic… not really.

Similarly, in the area of social abundance, I didn’t just manifest friends with magic. I had to see the big picture. This required thinking about what kind of friend I’d be. I thought about the kinds of friends I wanted to attract, and then I imagined what kind of friend I’d have to be in order to attract them to me — and to maintain good relationships with them. This made it clear that I had to work on myself too in order to step into that new reality. I had to become a better friend to others so I’d be worthy of those new relationships.

I know some people who are working really hard at manifesting new relationships. But all they do is imagine the other person coming to them and loving them. That’s a partial visualization, and it fails consistently. Honestly I don’t think I’ve seen this approach ever really work out. People do attract new partners this way, but the matches aren’t very compatible.

Suppose you’re trying to attract a new woman by visualizing her in your life. She’s everything you desire. She’s a perfect match for you and absolutely amazing as a human being. You can’t help but fall in love with that new reality.

But will she fall in love with you — realistically? A new reality is something you’re going to make REAL — it’s not a fantasy!

If you think your new reality is too good to be true, then well… it is too good to be true.

What do you have to offer this woman? She may be YOUR best possible match, but are you HER best match as well, or will she have better options than you? Will she have to compromise her values and settle for less than she’s worth to be with you? Will you really be able to maintain a relationship with someone like that? Are you worthy of her?

These questions can hit people like a ton of bricks because they reveal our inadequacies. But we still need to address them.

When you visualize your new reality, you must imagine yourself BEING the kind of person who can attract and hold on to all the good stuff you wish to manifest. That means you’re going to have to work on yourself and grow into that kind of person.

I know one woman who’s been trying to manifest the perfect relationship for years. She goes on a lot of dates, yet she remains perpetually alone. It’s obvious to me — and to many who know her — why that’s so. The simple reason is that the man she desires wouldn’t find her attractive at all. I can’t even see that being a remote possibility. She’s a kind-hearted person with a successful career, and she doesn’t have a problem getting dates, but her personality is a total mismatch for the kind of man she wants. She doesn’t fathom what such a man would find attractive in a relationship partner, so she lives in denial of the fact that he wouldn’t be attracted to her. So she’s always dating people where there’s no two-way chemistry. If she keeps doing what she’s been doing, she’ll either remain alone indefinitely, or she’ll eventually settle for an unstable connection with someone she doesn’t find attractive or who doesn’t find her attractive.

In the area of career and finances, what kind of person will you have to become in order to attract and hold on to the abundance you desire? What will it take to be worthy of that kind of flow?

When I was in my 20s, a $50K sum was too much for me to hold on to. I could attract such a sum on rare occasions, but I couldn’t retain it. It would slip through my fingers like water.

Eventually I stopped doing partial visualizations and began seeing the big picture. I realized I’d have to become a man who was worthy of abundance. This may mean something different to you, but to me it meant that I would need to be a kind and generous person who created a lot of value for others. That felt congruent to me. If I were a greedy bastard who was all about me-me-me, I’d feel I didn’t deserve that kind of flow. In my visualizations I felt really good about centering my career around service to others, and I could see that this would be consistent with attracting and perpetuating a constant flow of good stuff through my life — money, good health, low stress, loving relationships, fresh opportunities, etc. The total package just made sense to me.

I had to work a lot on myself to step into that new vision of me, but it definitely worked. In the past five years, I’ve put out enough free content to fill a couple dozen books. That feels really good to me. And resources flow to me so easily that I simply take it for granted that I can relax and enjoy whatever I want to experience in life. This works because it’s a congruent and stable situation. I use my creativity to put out a lot of value for others, so naturally I receive a lot of value in return. But in order to reach this place, I had to go through many internal shifts to step into this new reality.

In the area of social abundance, I do my best to be the kind of friend that’s worthy of having amazing friendships. I support and encourage my friends to pursue their dreams, but I also love to joke around and have fun. Consequently, I attract and maintain relationships with like-minded people. I’m really good at attracting people who are loving life, who enjoy helping people, and who are very encouraging and supportive of me too. And I naturally repel people who wouldn’t make good friends for me.

In order to manifest what you desire, the total package must be congruent. There must be harmony between what you’re attracting and what’s attracting you. Too often people fall into the trap of trying to attract something that would naturally repel them, such as trying to manifest a flow of money without creating any value, or trying to attract a loving relationship without becoming a loving and attractive person.

This is largely common sense, which many people seem to lose sight of when trying to apply the Law of Attraction.

Will a health nut be attracted to a lazy couch potato? Will honest, conscious business people want to do business with someone who creates little value and is in only in it for the money? Will an adventurous growth-seeker be attracted to someone who’s timid and security-minded? Even if these situations were to manifest, they’re unstable and usually won’t work out very well unless there’s a strong attraction in some other area to compensate.

Manifestations can occur very RAPIDLY and POWERFULLY once this harmony is achieved. But until that happens, results tend to be minimal or negative.

Write It Down

Imagining your new reality can be tricky if you try to do it all in your mind.

You may find it helpful to sit down and write out what it will be like to experience your new reality, in as much detail as possible.

For example, if you want to attract a certain type of person into your life, write out a detailed description of that person. Then you can use that as a guide when visualizing. Another option is to create a vision board by assembling a collection of photos or images (physical or digital) that helps you imagine the big picture.

I recently stumbled upon an old journal entry where I wrote out several pages describing in detail what I wanted to experience in life. My life at the time was nowhere close to that reality. I put an incredible amount of detail into it, even including personality descriptions and physical attributes of imagined people, such as how tall they were or that they wore contact lenses or were left- or right-handed.

What really freaked me out is that there is now a person in my reality who matches someone I described about 95% accurately. This person was not on my radar at all when I wrote this journal entry. I wrote it in February 2001. My life was in a completely different place back then.

Most of what I wrote about back then has already manifested. I’m now living it. Other parts of my reality have shifted so much that parts of my vision that seemed so far away are not nearly so distant now. I can actually see steps that would make more of them possible and realistic. The big picture is sliding towards me.

I was talking with Erin about this last week, and she asked me, “Why did you put that kind of detail into it? Why did it matter to you that an imaginary person was near-sighted?”

My best answer is that I found that a copious level of detail made it easier to see it as real. The vision became more believable. If the new reality is to become real, the people within it must be real too, not imaginary archetypes. Real people have height and weight. They may be near-sighted or left-handed. They may have pimples or unshaven faces. They wear certain types of clothes. They have unique personalities.

If you suddenly slid into your new reality, you would instantly observe all of that detail. It would be right in front of you. So put it in front of you now. Create it in your imagination. Clarity creates believability, which gives rise to stronger, crisper vibrations than fogginess.

It takes practice to get good at this, but the more you practice, the richer and more vivid your visualizations will become. That richness makes it easier to lock on to the new emotional states you’re aiming to create.

Achieve new breakthroughs in your habits, career, finances, relationships, health, and spiritual development. Register now to attend the transformational 3-day Conscious Growth Workshop in Las Vegas, January 15-17, 2010.

© 2009 by Steve Pavlina.

Is it possible to use the Law of Attraction to manifest true abundance in your life, including financial abundance, social abundance, and more? Absolutely, it is. In this 35-minute video (split into 4 individual clips for posting on YouTube), I explain why people so often fail in this area, and I give you a simple two-part method to make it work for you. I also share some stories and examples from my own life to help you internalize these ideas so you can apply them successfully.

There are several video clips of me on YouTube already, but those were all recorded by others, including some interviews that people have done with me. This is the first time I’ve intentionally recorded a video to share the kind of ideas I might otherwise cover in an article or podcast. So please consider this my first official video blog.

I recommend that you watch all 4 clips back to back if possible (35 minutes total). I broke the video into shorter clips because of YouTube’s 10-minute limit. I wanted to post these on YouTube instead of another service since it’s the most popular one, and I already have a YouTube channel (stevepavlinadotcom). Feel free to subscribe to it if you’re a YouTube member.

This video was recorded in HD by the way. Enjoy!

You can watch the videos one at a time below, or use this playlist link to automatically watch them in sequence on YouTube.

Creating Abundance (Part 1 of 4)

Creating Abundance (Part 2 of 4)

Creating Abundance (Part 3 of 4)

Creating Abundance (Part 4 of 4)

I’m a total newbie at video, and this was my very first time using iMovie — or any video editing software for that matter — so please be kind.

I hope you find these insights on creating abundance helpful. If you’d like to see more videos, I’m open to suggestions for additional topics to cover.

Achieve new breakthroughs in your habits, career, finances, relationships, health, and spiritual development. Register now to attend the transformational 3-day Conscious Growth Workshop in Las Vegas, January 15-17, 2010.

© 2009 by Steve Pavlina.

Conscious Growth Workshop DVDs

I received the initial DVD masters from the videographer — 8 DVDs total for the whole weekend. I’ll start watching them this week to see if any additional edits are needed to create the final product.

After that I’ll need someone to design a cover/package for the DVDs and then get a bunch of them duplicated so we can start shipping them.

For anyone who pre-ordered the DVDs at the workshop and paid via credit card, your card won’t be charged till the DVDs actually ship.

It’s hard to say how long it will take for the DVDs to be ready since I’ve never made DVDs before. I should have a better idea after I watch the DVDs and see how much more editing will be needed. My goal is to get them released by the end of the year.

As for pricing, I’m leaning toward $297 for the set, but I’ll likely offer a $100 discount for the first few weeks or so.

Conscious Growth Workshop #2

The second Conscious Growth Workshop is 2-1/2 months away, January 15-17, 2010 at the Flamingo in Las Vegas.

Just a reminder that the $100 early registration discount expires on December 15th. After that the price will be $597 instead of $497.

I’m really looking forward to doing another workshop. The energy people brought to the first one was just amazing! It’s been 4 weeks since the last one, and I’m still buzzing with excitement from it.

To learn more about the workshop and to register for it, please see the Conscious Growth Workshop page. You may also want to check out the Workshop FAQ, which will help you plan your trip to Las Vegas — my favorite city on earth.

Looking forward to seeing you there!

Hot Topic Media products page

After posting my review of Man Transformation, I still had lots of other products from the same publisher (Hot Topic Media) to review and potentially recommend. It is a ton of material to go through, however, and I think it would be way overkill to attempt to write a separate review for every product. So I opted to simply add a separate Hot Topic Media products page that lists their top-selling, most recommended products for men and women. This page is linked from the bottom of the Man Transformation page.

Hot Topic Media has a hugely successful dating and relationships product line with more than 40 products created by top experts in their fields. I wish I had time to review them all because I’ve found them fascinating so far, but that would require watching dozens and dozens more DVDs, and if I do it at a pace that’s comfortable for me, it could take more than a year.

At this point I can personally recommend two more of their products I really liked: On Being a Man and Deep Inner Game. All of their products include a free 30-day trial and a money-back guarantee. Check out the Hot Topic Media products page for the details.

My Mac experience

I’m really enjoying my new Macbook Pro so far. It took me a while to get used to the interface, but overall the adaptation has been fairly easy. The hardest part was getting used to using command-C, command-V, command-X, command-Z instead of using the ctrl key, but I’ve got the hang of it now. I also found it odd that closing a window doesn’t close the app and that I have to close the app from the menu bar or by hitting command-Q.

Fortunately most of my work involves using online tools, so I don’t actually need that much native software. Once I figured out the web browser, I was able to be productive right away. I do miss Google Chrome, but Safari is working out okay so far.

I really like that I can connect the hard drive from my PC to my Mac (via a USB enclosure), and access all my PC files. It’s painlessly simple to open my MS-Office documents on my Mac without having to convert the file format.

For HTML editing and FTP, I’ve been using Coda and Transmit (I used HomeSite and CuteFTP on my PC). These two apps were among the most popular recommendations I received when I asked about Mac apps on Twitter and Facebook. I’m very thankful for all the people who gave me software suggestions within minutes of my asking.

I found Coda and Transmit very easy to learn and was editing files on my website within minutes after installing them. Right now I’m still using the free trial versions. I especially like that Transmit is built into Coda, so I’m wondering if I can get by with just Coda by itself. In general I tend to prefer try-before-you-buy software as opposed to free open-source software because in my experience the features, quality, usability, and support are usually better. Coda is $99.

What I like most about the Mac is the usability. The interface is elegantly designed, and it isn’t cluttered with stuff I don’t need to see. I also like that booting up and shutting down takes only seconds. With my PC I would sometimes go make a cup of tea while it was booting up. So far I haven’t had a single piece of software (or the Mac itself) crash on me. “It just works” is proving true in my experience.

I was stunned by how incredibly simple it was to connect the Mac to my wireless network. Before it even finished booting up, I was already online because the Mac detected my wireless network during the initial setup process. By comparison Windows networking looks like it was designed by an absolute lunatic.

I haven’t even booted up my PC in more than a week.

There is some PC software I still really like, such as The Journal, and some stuff I need for my business like Quickbooks Pro with the Payroll module (that module apparently isn’t available on the Mac), so I’ll probably install a Windows partition on my Macbook this week. I don’t need to use any Windows apps multiple times per day though, so I don’t think it will be necessary for me to install something like Parallels to run Mac and Windows apps side by side.

So far I’m quite happy with my purchase, and I doubt I’ll be using my old Windows-based PC anymore.

Yes, there is a premium to pay for a Mac, but I’m not in a position where it makes sense to be cheap. Quality is a much more important consideration for me.

Relationship update

Erin and I appreciate all the love and support that has come our way since we announced our separation last month.

We’re both in a pretty good place right now. We still talk and see each other often. As I mentioned previously, we remain close friends. We separated due to a lack of compatibility as husband and wife, not a lack of love or respect for each other. As one friend pointed out to me recently, our relationship had become like that of brother and sister. A marriage simply wasn’t the right form for us to enjoy our particular connection.

At this point it’s unlikely that Erin and I will be blogging much about the details. The love and support are much appreciated, but there were also lots of immature reactions to our announcement. For example, a few bloggers tried to capitalize on it by writing ridiculous posts to play up the drama in order to garner more attention for their blogs. We really don’t want to feed the drama addicts. Many people also projected their own relationship and divorce issues onto us and our children, asserting all sorts of false assumptions about the nature of our relationship and our reasons for separating. These people’s personal issues have nothing to do with the reality of our situation, and a high volume of low-quality feedback and advice from people who’ve never even met us really isn’t helpful to us, so I don’t want to encourage more of that silliness.

Erin and I are getting plenty of constructive advice and support from our friends who know us well, so it makes much more sense for us to connect with those people as opposed to trying to summarize our relationship in a few blog posts. I probably spent about 30 hours on the phone last week, and I’m glad for it. Blogging really isn’t the right medium for addressing a topic like this though because it’s tough to convey emotions through plain text, so I tend not to even try (which admittedly makes my writing about it seem a bit cold). However, Erin and I might share more of our experiences together at the next Conscious Growth Workshop in January. Hopefully we can help people release some of the social conditioning regarding what a relationship or a divorce is supposed to look like.

One last thing I want to address is that some people seem to expect that I should be feeling sad or depressed right now, as if that’s my solemn duty as a guy who’s going through a divorce. Apparently I’m supposed to be miserable since that’s what divorcing people do to themselves. At the very least, I’m supposed to feel bad for my kids and the wretched existence they’re about to endure. To anyone who thinks that way, the best reply I can offer is, “Please remove thine head from thine arse.” A conscious separation is a very different experience than one filled with animosity and resentment.

There have been a few sad days in the past weeks, but overall I’m feeling immensely happy. If you see that as a betrayal of reality, of Erin, or of my children, that’s your business, but please don’t foist it on me as if it’s my business too. Rest assured I won’t be joining you in such foolish nonsense. I see no reason to wallow in negativity during this time when I’m perfectly capable of creating the emotions I want to experience — especially joy, abundance, bliss, excitement, and gratitude.

I feel genuinely grateful for my relationship with Erin — past, present, and future — and I’m delighted to continue exploring our soulful connection without trying to wedge it into the unwieldy shape of a marriage or a cohabitation arrangement. I’m feeling very happy and excited these days, and for those who expect me to feel otherwise, well… get used to disappointment. I choose not to create misery for myself — I think that would be incredibly foolish and selfish. I have a duty not only to myself to keep radiating joy and gratitude, but also to all the people I interact with. So I choose to be happy. Life is beautiful!

Achieve new breakthroughs in your habits, career, finances, relationships, health, and spiritual development. Register now to attend the transformational 3-day Conscious Growth Workshop in Las Vegas, January 15-17, 2010.

© 2009 by Steve Pavlina.

Drinking fresh juice has many benefits. With the fiber removed, fresh juice digests very easily, so you don’t have to expend as much energy on digestion. This extra energy then becomes available for your body and mind.

When I incorporate a lot of juice into my diet — about 32-64 oz per day, roughly 25-50% of my day’s caloric intake — I immediately notice a difference at the gym. My body just feels lighter and cleaner, and exercising feels easier as well.

Juicing and interval training

Lately I’ve been doing interval training at the gym on an elliptical machine. I know from past experience that interval training is an effective way to boost my cardiovascular fitness level in a matter of weeks. I’ve also shed several pounds this month.

For interval training I like my baseline heart rate to be around 148 beats per minute. Then I do various short intervals (usually 1-2 minutes in duration) that spike my heart rate as high as 180. Over a period of weeks, this training makes my cardiovascular system progressively more efficient, so my heart doesn’t have to pump as hard to handle the same workload. The effect is easily measurable with a heart rate monitor.

Four weeks ago I started out at level 10 for my baseline on a particular brand of elliptical machine. Sustained exertion at that level would get my heart up to about 146-148 beats per minute. Today that same setting will only get my heart rate into the 120s. To hit 148, I have to set the machine to level 14 now.

Also, four weeks ago I was doing intervals between levels 10 and 14. Now I’m doing intervals between levels 14 and 20 to create similar spikes in my heart rate.

How does juicing play into this? Well, I recently observed that if I drank a lot of juice the day before my workout (as opposed to all solid foods), my heart rate wouldn’t spike as high during the intervals.

Presently at level 14, my heart rate will be sustained at around 147 beats per minute. I don’t notice a change in that number whether I’m juicing or not. However, after a minute at level 19, my heart rate has been spiking to 177. But if I drink lots of juice the day before (about 64 oz), that same interval only spikes my heart rate to 163, and a minute at level 20 only spikes me to 171. If I go back to all solid food (including smoothies), then my heart rate spikes back up to 176-177 for that same level 19 interval. I don’t push it to level 20 on those days because I don’t like going past 180 (that puts me a little too close to passing out or throwing up).

So not only do I feel the difference when I’m juicing, I can also measure it at the gym when I’m working out. My heart doesn’t have to pump as hard to handle the same workload when I’m getting more of my calories from fresh juice.

If you’re curious if this would work for store-bought juice, I haven’t tried that. Pasteurized (i.e. cooked) juice isn’t something I want to put in my body.

I’ve also noticed that if I have a smaller amount of juice (like 24-32 oz), then the training benefit is diminished but still measurable. I haven’t tried going a full day on juice, which for me would require about 128 oz (1 gallon), but I may try that at some point to see if the effect is even greater.

Of course there’s a training effect whereby interval training helps my body adapt to greater workloads over time, but this effect isn’t too significant in the span of just a few days. By flip-flopping from juicy days to non-juicy days now and then (something I did simply by accident), I was able to get a reasonable idea of how my previous day’s diet affects me at the gym the next morning.

I don’t think this is because the juice is medicinal per se. I think the reason is that when I drink more juice, I eat less solid food, so my body doesn’t need as much energy for digestion, but I’m still getting adequate calories, so it’s not like I’m fasting. Digesting solid food also generates a lot more metabolic waste, some of which may be making my cardiovascular system and my muscles less efficient. The less energy my body has to expend on digestion and waste management, the more efficiently it works when I’m exercising.

Since I can push myself a bit harder when juicing — without causing my heart to explode — this makes my interval training more efficient. I’m able to burn more calories in the same amount of time. Beyond that, it’s hard to measure the long-term training impact as an individual trainee, but I can’t see it being a bad thing.

I’m eating 90-100% raw these days (and always 100% vegan), so I can’t say what effect juicing would have if you eat a diet heavy in cooked and/or processed foods. I suspect it may have an even greater impact though since you’d be crowding out foods that create a much greater digestive burden and which generate significantly more metabolic waste. However, if you jump right into it from a heavier diet, you might trigger a detox effect for the first week or two and feel a bit weaker during that time.

Juicing and weight training

What about weight training? Does juicing have an effect on that too? I haven’t been able to measure that yet because I’ve been so focused on interval training lately. I just added weight training back into my exercise routine today. This morning I did 30 minutes of interval training (including 5 minutes of warm-up and 5 minutes of cool-down), then 35 minutes of weight training, 10 minutes of basic stretching, and 20 minutes of yoga.

In the past I’ve noticed an obvious benefit to weight training on a diet of raw food vs. cooked food. I can lift more weight, and I have more muscular endurance (i.e. I can do more reps at the same weight) when I eat raw. I also don’t feel as tired during or after my workouts. As soon as I add back a little cooked food, like some cooked potatoes, I become a little weaker. I can’t lift as much weight or go as long.

Another cool benefit I’ve noticed is that my strength doesn’t degrade as much during periods when I’m not actively weight training if I’m eating high-raw or all-raw during those times. Normally on a cooked food diet, if I took several months off from weight training, I’d lose a lot of strength from atrophy, and it would take me at least a month or two to build back up to my previous high.

On a raw food diet, I seem to retain most of my strength gains even when I don’t train for months. This morning when I started weight training again after taking a lot of time off from it, I was pretty close to my previous max on most exercises. My chest seemed to have the most degradation, whereas my biceps were just as strong as they were a few months ago.

I don’t exactly know why this is so. Perhaps it’s because cleaner burning foods generate less metabolic waste, so there isn’t as much waste build-up in the muscles during non-training periods. Initially though, the training effect tends to be more neurological than muscular, whereby more muscle fibers get activated (as opposed to building new muscle tissue via hypertrophy). So perhaps with cleaner burning foods, the mind doesn’t find it as necessary to de-activate as many of the muscle fibers when training stops. Perhaps that de-activation process gets triggered to help free up resources to handle waste management with the higher toxic load from cooked foods. I’m just postulating here — quite honestly I haven’t a clue as to what’s really going on. But I’ve seen a marked difference in how my own body behaves on raw vs. cooked foods, and I rather like it, so I wanted to share it in the hopes that it may benefit you as well.

Making delicious juices

I tend to make fairly complex juices because I love how the different flavors combine. Even if I use the exact same ingredients, every juice comes out unique.

As I write this article, I’m drinking 34 oz of carrot, apple, beet, celery, mixed greens, dandelion greens, kale, parsley, ginger, lime, pomegranate juice. It takes me about 20 minutes to make that much juice, including prep and clean-up.

I frequently use 6-7 medium-sized carrots and an apple as a base for a 32-oz juice (one quart). It has a pleasant flavor and guarantees a sweet-tasting juice no matter what I add to it. When I start with carrot-apple, it’s hard to screw it up.

If I want a slightly sweeter, earthier juice, I’ll add 1/2 to 1 beet to it. I juice the beet greens too.

Carrots, apples, and beets are all high in natural sugar, so you can use them in any combination to create a sweet base for a juice that will effectively mask stronger flavors like those of bitter greens. Over time you may wish to decrease the quantity of these ingredients as your palate adjusts.

Celery, cucumber, and romaine lettuce make nice alkalizing additions to any juice. They’re mild in flavor, so they won’t overpower your juice. Usually I’ll include at least 4 stalks of celery and/or a small cucumber. Sometimes I’ll juice a whole head of celery. These foods are very water-rich, so they’re great to use for adding volume to a juice if you want to make a lot of juice quickly without a lot of prep work. Because of their mild flavors, they won’t wreck the flavor of your juice no matter how much you use.

Romaine lettuce (and most other lettuces) also have a mild flavor when juiced, so that’s another good ingredient to use frequently.

Next I include some dark greens, usually at least 2-3 different types. My favorites include spinach, dandelion greens, kale (especially dinosaur kale), beet greens, and parsley, mainly because they’re easy to feed into my Green Star juicer. Sometimes I’ll use mixed greens, Swiss chard, or collard greens. Dark greens tend to have a very strong flavor when juiced, so I don’t recommend trying to drink them straight. You’ll want something to mask their bitterness. Carrot-apple does a great job of that, so you can include a lot of greens while still enjoying an extremely palatable juice.

Lastly I add a few ingredients to create more sizzle and spike up the flavor. My favorites are lime and ginger — it’s rare that I make a juice w/o one or both of them. I normally use 1/4 to 1/2 of a lime plus 1-2 tsp of fresh ginger for a 32-oz juice. Sometimes I use lemon, but I almost always prefer lime. You can juice the lemon and lime with the skin too — and the ginger as well.

Other flavor-spiking ingredients I use are pomegranate seeds (several tablespoons), kiwi (one or two of them), and fennel (1-2 sprigs). Some people like to toss in a clove of garlic or some hot peppers, but I’m not really into that. Don’t use onion though — even a small amount of onion can overpower a juice and make it taste pretty nasty. I learned that lesson the hard way.

When I want to clean out my fridge, I will sometimes toss in a zucchini, sprouts, some cabbage, or some bell pepper (any color). Most water-rich produce can be juiced, but not all juicers can accommodate every type of produce. For example, my juicer doesn’t handle tomatoes or pineapples well because they clog the mesh filter.

Many juice-loving friends of mine prefer to make much simpler juices with only 3-4 ingredients, such as cucumber, celery, romaine juice or carrot, romaine, spinach. I sometimes make such juices too, but I seem to keep going back to the complex ones with 10-12 ingredients. I just love how the different items combine to create an explosive layering of different flavors and sensations.

My favorite simple juice is probably pineapple-garlic juice. I blend one pineapple (minus the skin) plus 3 garlic cloves in my Vita-Mix and then run it through a nut milk bag to remove the pulp. I know it probably sounds disgusting, but it’s quite delicious. Since it’s mostly pineapple juice, the garlic adds an interesting accent. When I drink this juice, however, I can expect to smell like garlic for 2-3 days afterwards. Raw garlic is pretty potent!

Try it for yourself

If you enjoy physical training or if you’re just curious about juicing, try incorporating more fresh juice into your diet to see if you notice a difference in your workouts. I suspect that at the very least, you’ll notice that exercising feels a little easier, so you can push yourself a bit harder each time.

Note that juicing is different from blending up a smoothie. With a smoothie the fiber remains intact, but with juicing the fiber is removed as pulp. I even run my juice through a nut milk bag just to remove the last bits of fiber that made it through my juicer.

If you don’t have a juicer yet, read the section on Juice Feasting Equipment from my juice feasting article for some recommendations on how to get started.

Achieve new breakthroughs in your habits, career, finances, relationships, health, and spiritual development. Register now to attend the transformational 3-day Conscious Growth Workshop in Las Vegas, January 15-17, 2010.

© 2009 by Steve Pavlina.

We came to this decision very consciously, and we’re separating amicably because we can see it’s the best thing for both of us. We intend to remain good friends and continue working together, so as far as our blogging is concerned, it’s going to be business as usual for the time being.

Why?

Over the years we’ve both noticed that our goals and desires were pulling us in different directions. When we talked about our future together, we each had a different vision of what we wanted to create and experience. That didn’t seem like a big deal at first, especially since there was a lot of overlap, but when those visions began to manifest and take shape, we had to start dealing with the incompatibilities that came up.

At first we tried to keep pace with each other and made compromises to that effect, but that only made both of us unhappy. Eventually we realized we’d both be happier if we ended our marriage, not by going our own separate ways per se, but by transitioning our relationship into something other than a marriage. We love each other enough to see that we must allow each other the freedom to pursue our own individual dreams.

Separation Details

Erin and I already worked out most of the details of our separation. Since we own two houses that are only 6 miles apart, and one house was vacant, deciding on the living arrangements wasn’t too difficult.

On Friday Erin and the kids moved into our other house. Erin bought some new furniture and appliances for the place, and we moved some furniture from our existing home. We lived there for a few years (2005-2007), so it’s a familiar environment. Since it’s a 4-bedroom home, Erin has her own bedroom and a home office, and the kids each have their own bedrooms too. It’s plenty of space for 3 people.

For now I’m staying in the larger house by myself. It might seem that Erin and the kids should take the bigger house while I move into the smaller one, but the financial realities make that an unwise choice in the long run. Although we’ve been paying down the mortgages on both homes much faster than we need to, the Vegas housing slump and the local unemployment rate (currently around 14%) has caused home prices to fall even faster, so neither home has any equity right now. We’d prefer to own the homes we live in and not overcomplicate things, and Erin favored the smaller home with the smaller costs, so I’m getting the bigger house with the bigger debt and expenses.

Erin and I are both pleased with this arrangement. It took a while for our friends and family to understand it, but it makes sense to us, and ultimately we’re both getting what we want. By taking the smaller home/mortgage, Erin will have more flexibility to move to another home if she so desires, and her living expenses will be well within her means. I don’t mind taking on more of a financial burden in this case, not just with the bigger mortgage but with alimony and childcare payments too.

It’s a bit weird to be living in a 6-bedroom house all by myself though. It’s a huge amount of space for just one person (4300 square feet), and even with a guest room and my home office, 3 of the rooms are totally empty right now. This will take some getting used to. I’ll probably be living here for a while though because I like the house, I like living in Las Vegas, and I definitely don’t want to sell in this housing market. Since this community has a rather strict homeowner’s association, I’m somewhat limited in what I’m able to do with the house. So for now I’ll just have to treat it as my private batcave and surrender to the weirdness of it.

As for what we’re going to do with the business, we’re still working out the details there, but we’re close to an agreement on the major items. Suffice it to say that the business will continue running as usual. It would be a lot harder if we weren’t on such good terms with each other. The most important asset we both want to maintain is each other’s goodwill.

Children

Our kids (ages 6 and 9) are handling this transition pretty well. Las Vegas is a place where divorce is pretty common, so our kids have friends that have seen their parents get divorced. Emily was a bit concerned about it at first, but she’s gradually adjusting to it. Kyle is young enough that he sees this transition as more of an adventure. They’ll continue going to the same school (at least for the rest of the year), and they’re living in a home that’s still familiar to them, so the changes aren’t as dramatic as they might otherwise be.

Most likely Erin will get sole custody of the kids, and I’ll be paying some child support. That seems to be the best arrangement for both of us, given our future goals. Neither of us wants to subject the kids to a shared custody arrangement where they live part-time in two different homes. We think it’s much better for them to live in a single stable home.

Friends

Erin and I share many friends in common, and we hope to keep it that way. We let our friends know that we’re still on good terms with each other, and we don’t want anyone thinking they must take sides. This transition might be a little weird, but the last thing we’d want to do is alienate our dearest friends.

Many of our friends have been through divorces themselves, and in a city like Las Vegas, there isn’t much of a social stigma attached to it. In some ways it’s almost the opposite: Ahhh… your first divorce… welcome to the club! That’s a bit of an exaggeration, but not by much.

Questions

Here are some answers to a few questions that I figure some people will ask us.

Did you know about this before or during the October workshop?

No, this decision was made afterwards. It was partly the awareness-raising effect of the workshop itself that encouraged us to take a deeper look at our relationship. If you had told me at the start of the workshop that this is where we’d be today, I wouldn’t have believed you.

We meant what we said during the workshop segment on conscious relationships. Although we’re ending our marriage, we intend to continue relating to each other in various ways, so the same principles still apply. When I talked about consciously breaking up, I didn’t think we’d be applying those ideas to our own relationship that same month. Life can be funny that way.

It’s possible we may both share the stage again at the January workshop and talk about what we’ll have learned between now and then. That depends on whether or not we think our personal lessons can provide substantial value for others.

Human relationships have a lot of fluidity to them, and marriage is only one of many forms they can take. In this case the most conscious decision we can make to improve our relationship is to end our marriage.

The nice thing is that the universal principles we talked about during the workshop still apply to a separation and/or divorce. In that case, it’s about recognizing and accepting the truth of your situation, deciding what you both need to be happy, and taking action to ensure that both people end up in a better place. Perhaps one of the most important principles to apply in this case is courage. Courage is especially vital when the short-term prediction may seem negative at first, but the long-term prediction looks much brighter.

Did polyamory play a role in this?

To a certain extent, yes. It helped us discover new truths about ourselves.

This year we both opened ourselves up to having deeper intimate connections with other people. This was a bit of an exploration process. It gave both of us more clarity to see that our marriage wasn’t the best vehicle for our long-term happiness. We were happy in some areas but not in others. We had reached a dead-end and needed to let go of the marriage to get around it. Otherwise we’d end up working harder and harder trying to make each other happy, with worsening results.

I learned that I really enjoy relationships based on a deep emotional connection, openness, honesty, trust, compatible interests, and having fun together. I definitely want to have more of that in my life. But I found it very awkward to do this within the scope of my marriage. It was like trying to straddle two different worlds. An open marriage is practically a contradiction in terms. I found that I resonated more with the concept of openness than with the concept of marriage.

Erin and I realized that we were disempowering each other by giving too much power to the marriage itself. It was as if we somehow owned each other’s hearts and had to keep checking in and asking permission for anything we wanted to do intimacy-wise. We went out of our way to avoid serious misunderstandings and to check in with each other’s feelings, but the communication burden become insane after a while. It was a fun thing to explore, and I don’t have any regrets about it, but I wouldn’t want to keep this up long-term within a marriage structure.

I’m reminded of the quote from Kahlil Gibran: “Let there be spaces in your togetherness.” Erin and I had become so close that we were smothering each other. We both needed to step back and give each other more freedom, and ultimately that led us to step right out of the marriage itself.

It’s fair to say that polyamory was a catalyst for ending our marriage, but only partly. Another catalyst behind that one was my decision to get into raw foods. That’s partly what spawned this exploration of intimacy in the first place. Eating raw is an emotional amplifier. I had to learn to start processing the emotions I was feeling because they couldn’t be so easily dismissed.

But an even deeper causal factor beneath that was my commitment to conscious growth. The desire to relate to other people as consciously as possible eventually made it impossible to continue giving my power away to an external structure like a marriage. That was a problem for both of us. For years we fell into the trap of treating the marriage as something more powerful than ourselves, something we must preserve at all costs even when it didn’t make us happy to do so. I’m glad we finally saw the folly in that mindset.

What’s next?

It’s too soon to answer that question in much detail. For starters Erin and I will need some space to adapt to our lives as single people. It will probably take about a month for us to feel settled into our new routines.

Beyond that we still have some details to work out regarding the divorce. We’re not in a rush, but we’d like to have that figured out by the end of the year. Since we’re splitting up amicably, it shouldn’t be that tough to work it out.

At this point we’re taking it one day at a time.

Although our marriage is ending, Erin and I still expect to remain good friends. We want to thank you in advance for your patience and support during this time. After 15+ years together, it will take time for us to navigate this transition and adapt to life as single people again. We know, however, that this is the right direction for us and for our children, and we’re letting go consciously and with great love and regard for each other.

Achieve new breakthroughs in your habits, career, finances, relationships, health, and spiritual development. Register now to attend the transformational 3-day Conscious Growth Workshop in Las Vegas, January 15-17, 2010.

© 2009 by Steve Pavlina.

The first Conscious Growth Workshop earlier this month was such an unqualified success that I started the process of booking another event less than 48 hours after it ended. It took a little while to select the meeting room and get the paperwork signed, but we’re good to go now.

Workshop Details

All the workshop details can be found on the Conscious Growth Workshop page, including the specific topics we’ll be covering each day.

This will be a very holistic workshop, blending high-level ideas with practical application. We’re going to cover career development, money, health, skill building, habits, productivity, emotions, relationships, spirituality, and more. I’ll be sharing the best insights I have on each of these topics. My goal is not to send you home with pages and pages of notes that you’ll hopefully implement later. This workshop is geared to create many a-ha moments that shift your thinking right there in the workshop.

Workshop Location

The first CGW was at Harrah’s. This one will be at the Flamingo, which is just two doors down, still right in the middle of the Las Vegas Strip.

For CGW #2 we’ll have a significantly larger and nicer meeting room. This new room can hold up to 400 people, so we’ll have more capacity too. I expect attendance for this workshop to be considerably higher than for the first workshop, especially given all the positive buzz about it — and the fact that CGW #1 alumni can attend for free.

Comparison to CGW #1

I’ve received a tremendous amount of feedback from attendees of CGW #1. I didn’t calculate it precisely, but it looks like the average rating was higher than a 9 out of 10. So obviously we did something right. We don’t want to mess up what’s working, but there’s still plenty of room for improvement.

In the months ahead, I’ll be poring over the feedback in detail and making lots of tweaks to the format, the exercises, the fieldwork assignments, and the way the material is presented. I REALLY appreciate the level of detail people used when sending me their feedback. Rest assured I’m reading every word of it and carefully considering what you shared.

One simple change is that we’ll be doing 2-hour lunch breaks each day instead of 90 minutes. It was obvious that people wanted more time to socialize at lunch, myself included. To compensate for the longer lunch breaks, we’ll be ending 30 minutes later each day (5:30pm on Fri and Sat, 4pm on Sun), so the actual time in the workshop will be the same.

We’ll still cover the seven fundamental principles of growth on Day 1, and then we’ll apply them to different areas of life on Days 2 and 3. The feedback I received suggests that this overall structure was very effective. Most of the changes I’ll be making will pertain to how each individual segment is structured and delivered. I’ve already refined some of the exercises (including the Master-Servant one), and I’ll probably make a lot of changes to how we do the written exercises to make them more impactful. The biggest challenge is figuring out how to incorporate the best ideas into the time we have available.

My goal is to make CGW #2 significantly better than CGW #1 while retaining the elements of CGW #1 that worked best. I can’t yet say what all those changes will be. It’s going to take time to fully review the feedback and re-factor each segment of the workshop.

Workshop FAQ

If you have questions about the workshop, please consult the Workshop FAQ first. It packs in a lot of info.

I did my best to anticipate any questions you may have about the workshop, travel arrangements, hotels, and staying in Las Vegas.

Workshop Forums

A few weeks ago, we added a Conscious Growth Workshop discussion forum. This is a great place to interact with CGW #1 alumni if you want to learn about their experiences. You can read plenty of feedback from them about the experience.

A good place to start is with Alex Wu’s day-by-day review of CGW #1.

You can also use that new forum to introduce yourself to other CGW #2 attendees, arrange social gatherings in Vegas, find people to share hotel rooms, ask questions about Las Vegas, etc.

Additionally, you may enjoy reading through this thread about the workshop results, which includes lots of feedback on CGW #1. Just be aware that it’s pretty long (more than 140 posts). You may find this post from Daan Buckinx especially insightful since he shares the specific changes he experienced.

The CGW discussion forum is also a good place to keep in touch after the workshop. It’s very likely you’ll make some great new friends there. I’ve been seeing CGW alumni continuing to stay in touch on Facebook, Twitter, and sometimes in person.

CGW Alumni Attend Free

As I mentioned previously, anyone who attended the very first Conscious Growth Workshop in October can attend one of the 2010 CGWs for free.

Will there be any benefit to attending more than once? Yes, absolutely. This workshop is designed to meet you where you are right now and to help you grow from there. If you attended the first workshop, you may recall the analogy of the different planets. Next year your Planet A will be different, and so will your Planet B. Even though the material will be similar, you’ll be applying each principle to your current life situation, so your experiences will be different each time. Also, you’ll have many new friends to make and hang out with, so the social opportunities will be unique as well.

If you’re a CGW alumni, and you’d like to register for CGW #2, don’t use the online registration form. Instead, please visit Erin’s contact form, and send her a message letting her know you’d like to register for CGW #2. Please provide her with the following info:

• Your name (as you want it to be printed on your badge)
• Your city and state (city and country if you live outside the USA)
• Your email address
• Your phone number

If you send Erin this info and she confirms receipt of it, we’ll have a badge waiting for you at CGW #2.

There’s one caveat though. We need to make sure we don’t get too many alumni saying they’ll be at CGW #2 and then not showing up. That could mean having empty seats we might otherwise have offered to someone else. So if you request a badge for CGW #2 and you flake for some reason, then it means you’ve used up your freebie pass for good, and you won’t be able to attend another CGW in 2010 for free.

Since there were 115 attendees of CGW #1, we should have enough capacity to accommodate anyone who wants to attend CGW #2 for free, as long as you request a badge early enough. However, if we sell out with paid registrations, then it’s possible we may have to turn away some alumni freebie requests if they wait till the last minute to request a badge.

I’d suggest that if you want to request a free alumni badge, please submit your request by December 1st, 2009. That gives you more than a month to decide. We may be able to accommodate requests after that date, but I can’t guarantee it.

If we do get close to selling out, we may follow up with each alumni freebie request to verify that you’re still planning to attend. That way we can offer your seat to someone else if you change your mind. But please don’t request an alumni badge unless you’re willing to commit to using your freebie pass.

If we can swing it, we’ll use a different color for the alumni badges, so you’ll be able to tell at a glance who’s alumni and who’s new.

I don’t know how many CGWs we’ll have in 2010 — that depends on the demand — but I’d like to do at least 3-4 of them, roughly one per calendar quarter. CGW #2 is the only one that’s been scheduled so far.

Time to Register

It should be obvious that I’m EXCITED about doing another workshop. I had so much fun at the first one that I couldn’t wait to schedule another one.

This workshop has had a huge impact on my own personal growth. I thought I was there to be the facilitator, but it turned out that I was just as much an attendee as anyone else. Together we created a space where many breakthroughs were able to occur. The last two weeks have been – without a doubt – one of the most intense growth periods of my life.

Some of the changes I’ve been experiencing are still creating ripples and will have to be revealed in the weeks ahead. But one of the simplest changes I can share is that I’ve been exercising a lot more, eating more lightly, and sleeping less. My fitness level has measurably improved, and I dropped six pounds in the past two weeks.

But perhaps the most astonishing change is that I did something I’ve never done before. That’s right — I bought a Mac! After 20+ years of continuous PC usage, I decided to switch to a Mac for a while. The fact that my laptop PC and desktop PC both went belly-up within the past 3 months made it a good time to switch. I figure it will be an interesting growth experience to become a Mac guy for a while. I ordered a Macbook Pro online last week, and it’s supposed to arrive on Thursday. I also bought a 24″ Mac monitor, which I received yesterday. Before the workshop I’d never have thought it possible!

So what are you waiting for? Go sign up for January 2010 Conscious Growth Workshop. You’ll love it!

Achieve new breakthroughs in your habits, career, finances, relationships, health, and spiritual development. Register now to attend the transformational 3-day Conscious Growth Workshop in Las Vegas, January 15-17, 2010.

© 2009 by Steve Pavlina.

Many people took advantage of the free trial to eliminate one negative belief such as “I’m not good enough” or “Mistakes and failure are bad.”

The experiences people reported were very similar to my own initial experience. There’s a feeling that something has shifted, but the question is, “Is the limiting belief really gone?”

In my case the answer is YES – the belief is really gone, and it didn’t come back. When the opportunity came up for the old belief to limit me, it was obvious that the belief simply wasn’t there anymore. So I was able to make choices and enjoy results that would have otherwise been blocked by the old belief. Removing that belief gave me a lot more freedom.

To share a little more detail about my experience using the Lefkoe Method, I recorded a short video.

On the same page as that video, you can also take advantage of the offer to eliminate a limiting belief for free if you haven’t already done so.

I gave the video to Morty Lefkoe to use as a testimonial on his website, and I joined his affiliate program as well. I think this may be the first time I’ve done a video testimonial for anyone or anything, but I really like Morty’s process, and his heart is certainly in the right place, so I’m delighted to help promote his work.

The video is short (less than 3 minutes), so go take a look.

Achieve new breakthroughs in your habits, career, finances, relationships, health, and spiritual development. Register now to attend the transformational 3-day Conscious Growth Workshop in Las Vegas, January 15-17, 2010.

© 2009 by Steve Pavlina.

The cubicle is the antithesis of doing work you love. Virtually no one pictures a cubicle when they think about doing what they most love.

The cubicle is where you end up when you fall out of harmony with what you love.

The only way you can be stuck in a cubicle is by giving your power away to it.

A cubicle has no power over you. You can empower the cubicle, but it can’t empower itself.

To complain about a job you dislike is an act of giving your power away. You chose the job, and you can just as easily choose to stop showing up.

Think of it this way: If you and your cubicle got in a fight, who would win?

Still not sure? How about this: You plus a chainsaw vs. the cubicle plus a chainsaw. Who’d win?

If you decide to leave the cubicle, it is powerless to stop you. You could smash the thing to pieces just for spite.

So the only one keeping you trapped in that cubicle is you. You’re there by choice. You’re there because that’s the life you chose to create.

“But I need that cubicle because I need money,” you say.

Now you’re giving your power away to money. Money is nothing but a piece of paper… or a number on a computer screen. How can something so lifeless and inanimate have any power over you whatsoever?

If you and $1 million cash got in a fight, who’d win?

Not sure? Ok, try this: You plus a flamethrower vs. $1 million plus a flamethrower. Who’d win?

Is that even a fair fight? You could repeat it for a thousand matches and win every single time.

“But I have bills to pay,” you say.

Now you’re giving your power away to your bills. You do realize you don’t have to do that, don’t you?

What is a bill? It’s a few pieces of paper at most.

You vs. your bills in a fight — who’d win?

Can you see who’s stronger here, or do we need to arm each of you with a paper shredder to be sure?

“But I need a roof over my head and food on the table,” you say.

Now you’re giving your power away to the roof and the food. Those are inanimate objects.

Who’d win in a fight between you and a house or you and a ton of food? I think it’s clear that you’re the fiercer opponent in those matches, and unless you do something stupid and slip on a banana peel, an easy victory is yours.

Follow this chain of making and busting excuses for as long as you desire. You’ll still end up at the same place. Each rationalization is just another instance of giving your power away.

Giving your power away is stupid. Who would use their creative powers to create a trap for themselves and then complain about being stuck in the trap afterwards? That wouldn’t be very bright, now would it? I mean… you’d have to be really, really stupid to do something like that, wouldn’t you?

Do you realize that you don’t actually have to give your power away to anything? Really you don’t.

You don’t actually have to create a trap for yourself, fall into it, and then spend years complaining about the trap.

It’s not like your traps are very strong anyway. A cubicle isn’t a particularly strong cage, now is it? You can walk away from it this very second, and it’s powerless to contain you.

An unfulfilling relationship isn’t much of a cage either. Again, it’s easy enough to just walk away.

Even now, you have the ability to withdraw your power into yourself and reclaim it.

That power is your creative ability. Your power allows you to bend reality to your will. If you want to experience a different reality, you have the power to create it.

If you desire a roof over your head and food on the table, you can use your power to create that.

If you desire to have bills in your life and also have them be paid on time with ease, you can create that reality too.

If you desire to have money flowing through your life, that is also within your power.

And if you desire to live your life outside a cubicle, then once again you are strong enough to make that happen.

Do not make excuses. Do not complain about your situation. Complaining and excuse-making are acts of using your power to create what you don’t want.

Whenever you complain about anything, it’s because you do not understand the true nature of power.

Do not pretend you are powerless. You are stronger than any excuse.

Use your power to constructively create what you want. Focus your will upon your desires. Withdraw your thoughts from helplessness and hopelessness.

Realize that you’re the creator in your reality. If you find yourself in a cubicle, who created that reality for you? Who used their willpower to walk up to the cubicle and sit down? You willed that into existence. You thought about it. You felt what it would feel like. You fed that potential reality your power. And so you manifested and experienced it. But you didn’t have to. You never had to. And you never will have to.

Look around your life and notice all that you’ve created. You did all of that. Your repeated applications of power constructed the reality you are now experiencing.

Celebrate that realization. See the good in what you’ve created. Remember the thoughts and feelings you summoned to create it. Do not give your power away by pretending that you didn’t create it.

You may have created much that you no longer desire to experience. In that case, focus your creative energies elsewhere. Stop feeding your power to what you’ve already created, and begin channeling it toward what you now desire.

You cannot uncreate what you’ve already created. Well, maybe if you use the flamethrower. But you can re-create your reality into that which you desire to experience.

Imagine being in the place of experiencing a reality that you created. Actually you’re already there. You’re experiencing that every day. But now imagine yourself enjoying a reality that you very much desire to experience. You can create that too.

What if you don’t know what you’ll enjoy? How do you know what to create next?

Well, start with what you know. If you know you aren’t thrilled with what you have right now, then pick a direction and target your creative energies there. If you know what you’re experiencing right now isn’t what you desire, then the most foolish thing you can do is to use your power to keep re-creating it.

Explore. Experiment. Create new experiences for yourself. It is only through exploration that you will hone in on what you most desire. Be willing to fail.

Celebrate your creative failures. Celebrate those times when you created something you didn’t like. Those experiences are your greatest teachers.

When you know you’ve created something you don’t like, learn from that contrast. Ask yourself, “How does this help me understand what I truly do want?”

If you know you don’t want to spend your life in a cubicle, how does that help you? It helps you better understand what you do want. It suggests other places to explore.

Based on your reaction to cubicle life, perhaps you will see that you desire to spend more time outside. You desire more freedom. You desire to manage your own time without having to be at a certain place at a certain time. You desire to physically get up and move around more. You desire fresh air and sunlight and moonlight. You desire to be with people who are on fire with passion and happiness, not with people who are slaves.

Observe your creations. Take credit for them. Take full responsibility for what you’ve created. And then learn from them. Allow yourself to have an emotional reaction to what you’ve created. Do you love it? Do you hate it? Are you bored with it? How do you really feel?

When you observe the life you’re living, are you blissing out? That’s a sign you’ve created what you truly desire. Or are you bored or frustrated or stressed? That’s a sign you missed the mark and need to try again.

Use your emotional reactions to what you’ve created as a way to re-orient yourself in the direction of new desires. Then withdraw your power from the creations you no longer wish to experience. Realize that you created all of it and that you now have the power to create something else.

Now focus your power in that new direction. It doesn’t have to be a perfectly crystal clear direction. It just has to be a path with a heart, something that feels good to you, something you’d like to explore.

If you can’t find a path that feels good, then look for a path that feels better than what you’re already experiencing.

That path with a heart is a path that requires courage. If you haven’t chosen a path that requires courage, you’ve chosen to create another trap for yourself. In the end you will only create more of what you don’t want.

True desires pull at your heart. But if your application of power has been rather weak, then the mind will resist these desires. This conflict between head and heart is called fear. Fear is what you experience when you turn your inner eye to see the path with a heart, but your mind doubts you have the power to create it and have it feel good.

When you see that path with a heart, it’s okay to feel fear and tension. It will take time to re-awaken your power and apply it to the pursuit of that path.

Imagine power and energy flowing forth from you. Flow your power toward your desires. Imagine them as real. Use your power to create them in your mind and in your heart. See your creations as real. Feel your creations as real. Know that this is an act of creation.

Be careful not to feed your power back to your undesired creations. Let the old creations die. Let go of the cubicle. Disconnect from the unfulfilling relationships. Channel your power toward your desires only.

If this is difficult for you, then strive to minimize the amount of time you spend feeding your power to what you don’t want. Go on a power fast in those areas. Starve out those creations. Keep pulling back and withdrawing more and more of your power into yourself.

Notice when you are channeling energy to something you don’t want. You will know it’s happening because you will be feeling negative emotions. When you notice this happening, withdraw your power and re-channel it toward something you desire. You will know it’s happening when you experience positive emotions. Feeding power to your desires feels good.

Enjoy the unfolding journey as your new desires begin to manifest. Keep following the path with a heart. Turn your body, mind, heart, and spirit in the direction of your desires. Keep facing toward them as much as possible, as you turn your back on that which you no longer desire.

Do not pretend to be powerless. Such behavior is unbecoming of conscious beings.

Achieve new breakthroughs in your habits, career, finances, relationships, health, and spiritual development. Register now to attend the transformational 3-day Conscious Growth Workshop in Las Vegas, January 15-17, 2010.

© 2009 by Steve Pavlina.

For example, if you have the false belief that mistakes and failure are bad, then you’ll avoid many growth and learning experiences because you have to be willing to fail in order to build new skills.

As another example, if you have the belief that rejection is a bad thing, you’ll avoid approaching new people, and you’ll miss out on many wonderful social connections.

Where do these beliefs come from?

Many limiting beliefs get installed during childhood, but that isn’t always the case. The pattern is that your mind drew false generalization based on one or more specific events. It assigned questionable meanings to those events, and those interpretations are disempowering you. As a result your mind blocks you from taking certain actions, even though the actions may be reasonable and intelligent choices.

In order to remove a limiting belief, It isn’t enough to identify and acknowledge it. You may be aware of some of your limiting beliefs, but awareness of them isn’t necessarily enough to keep them from operating in your life. You may be aware that rejection isn’t such a terrible thing, but your subconscious is still conditioned to avoid it. Awareness is an important part of the solution, but it isn’t the whole solution.

Removing Limiting Beliefs

In July when I was in Bermuda for the Transformational Leadership Council retreat, I found myself sitting next to Morty Lefkoe at dinner one night, and I asked him about his work.

Morty claimed to have developed a method for permanently uninstalling limiting beliefs. And the best part was that his method only took about 20 minutes to apply, and you only had to do it once. Not once per day or once per week. Just once.

I was intrigued, so Morty and I talked for more than an hour. I was particularly interested in what he had to say because I frequently encounter people who struggle with limiting beliefs, especially when it comes to money and finding a fulfilling career. But I couldn’t recommend Morty’s method just on his word alone.

Fortunately, Morty offered to personally show me how the method worked, so later during the retreat, we sat down together in the hotel lobby, and he ran me through the process.

First, he asked me some questions to help me identify a particular limiting belief I had. I began by telling him that I was experiencing some blocks related to hiring people. We soon identified several different intertwined beliefs that were holding me back from hiring a staff. It was obvious that I needed to hire help, but I was still holding back.

Morty took me through a fairly straightforward cognitive process that allowed my mind to eliminate false beliefs that I’d been carrying around for years. After the retreat we did a couple more sessions by phone in order to eliminate some additional beliefs that were holding me back from hiring people.

My biggest limiting belief was, “If I hire other people, they won’t care about the work as much as I do.” I believed that it would be discouraging and draining to manage people who were mainly there for the paycheck. So naturally I didn’t hire anyone. Who’d want to work with people who don’t care?

After using Morty’s process, I felt a bit different, but I wasn’t quite sure if the old beliefs were really gone. I felt like something in my mind had shifted, but I wasn’t clear about the extent of that shift. It felt like the block had been removed, but would I act on it?

Fast forward some weeks later. Erin and I hired four people to help us with the workshop: a video guy, a sound guy, and two helpers who staffed the product table and served as mike runners. We could have kept it small, but we decided to make it bigger and recruit help.

The interesting thing wasn’t that we hired people. It was that we hired people who really cared about the work we were doing. People did more than was expected of them.

For example, Vicki went out of her way to help people process some of their emotional releasing during the breaks. We didn’t ask her to do that. She just saw that she could help, and she did it. She also gave me many suggestions for improving the workshop, some of which I incorporated on the fly during Days 2 and 3.

This was a big shift for me, and it opened a lot of new doors. I told Morty about this and thanked him for helping me get past this block. And I really do feel that the block is permanently gone. Hiring help was a lot easier than I expected.

The nice thing about Morty’s method is that it works for a wide variety of different beliefs, and he has a long history of success with it. He’s used it with more than 38,000 people.

I’m very grateful that I met Morty.

Try the Lefkoe Method for Free

The best part is that you can try Morty’s process for free.

Morty found a way to put his method online, It’s fairly easy and takes about 20 minutes to eliminate one limiting belief. You can complete the whole process while sitting at your computer.

When you eliminate a belief using the Lefkoe Method, the change is permanent. This isn’t something you have to do repeatedly. You only do it once.

By taking advantage of Morty’s freebie offer, you can eliminate one of the three most common limiting beliefs:

• I’m not good enough.
• Mistakes and failure are bad.
• I’m not important.

I’ve watched several of Morty’s interactive videos, each one targeting a different limiting belief, and the process is the same thing he guided me through in person and over the phone.

Try Morty Lefkoe’s belief elimination process for yourself — for free. I highly recommend it.

Achieve new breakthroughs in your habits, career, finances, relationships, health, and spiritual development. Register now to attend the transformational 3-day Conscious Growth Workshop in Las Vegas, January 15-17, 2010.

© 2009 by Steve Pavlina.