The Golden Motorcycle Gang

Jack imagines that before he incarnated as a human being, he was part of a gang of spiritual beings speeding through the cosmos on their merry way, and they happened upon a blue planet and decided to take a closer look. What did they see? A planet at war with serious troubles. The year was 1943.

This planet was heading towards a crucial point. If it continued on its old ways, it could soon destroy itself, either with increasingly destructive weaponry, by gradually destroying the planet’s ability to sustain human life, or perhaps by descending into chaos when unsustainable systems ultimately collapsed.

Acting somewhat impulsively the Golden Motorcycle Gang decided to incarnate as human beings. They wanted to help earth move in a more positive direction. Initially they forgot that they were part of this gang, but later in life the memories of their spiritual identities gradually returned, and they were able to reconnect with other members of the gang… and then to begin coordinating their efforts.

The story works whether you regard this as a real soul group or simply as a metaphor for discovering one’s calling. Just consider how it might affect your life and your actions if you believed that you were a part of something like this and that you had previously agreed to fulfill a larger purpose.

In Jack’s case the call to making a difference is well established. Among his many achievements, he co-authored the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, which are filled with inspirational stories. This series has spawned more than 200 books that have collectively sold more than 500 million copies. If you visit one of the remaining brick and mortar bookstores, you’ll frequently see entire sections dedicated to these books.

I have a special connection to this book since I’ve been involved with the Golden Motorcycle Gang since 2009. For that reason my name is listed in one of the book’s appendices.

I have a golden motorcycle coin (a symbolic token of initiation that was given to me by Jack) tacked up to my vision board in my home office. I use this board to post words, phrases, symbols, photos, drawings, and artistic creations from my kids — anything that reminds me of my life purpose, goals, and dreams.

Cracking Systems

If you get most of your news from fear-based media outlets, you may worry that the planet is going downhill. The economy is tanking. Wars are being fought with no end in sight. Money is corrupting everything. World leaders trash-talk each other behind the scenes.

Yes, the planet has its problems, but there’s also a rising counter-reaction to these problems. More and more people are progressively waking up, and many are committing themselves to work on solutions to our greatest challenges. Our global challenges are too big for any one person to solve, so collective coordination is necessary.

As many people are well aware, our economic and political systems are showing lots of cracks lately. One problem is that many elements of these systems are unsustainable. For example, we can’t achieve infinite growth from systems that rely on ever-increasing consumption of finite resources. Eventually the simple mathematics will win out. It’s just a matter of time.

On the other hand, there are elements of these existing systems that actually work quite well. We don’t want to throw the baby out with the bathwater. We want to keep what works and re-engineer the parts that aren’t working. I for one feel grateful for just how well systems of business and government work in the USA. There are numerous problems of course — these systems are far from perfect — but they do accomplish quite a lot.

Anarchy isn’t the answer. Even the most unconstrained parts of the Internet has shown that self-governance is a failure. Where free will is present, it just takes a few deliberate wrongdoers to wreck the whole system for everyone else. As much as we’d like to believe it isn’t necessary, at this time in our evolution we still require the foundation of force-backed coercive power to maintain a reasonable level of order, whether that power is wielded by governments or businesses. Where there’s no rule of law backed by the threat of force, things break down.

Government and business systems add significant value to our lives, and life without them would be far worse. Without those systems you and I probably wouldn’t even be able to communicate. What we need is to intelligently replace the unsustainable elements with more sustainable ones. By itself that’s an achievable goal. The tricky part is keeping everything running during the transition process. We can’t simply shut everything down and replace it with something new. If we lose the structure provided by our current systems before new ones can be established, we could potentially descend into chaos, and it could take us a very long time to recover from that.

We can also continue to upgrade the systems that are working poorly. Education is a good example. Many best practices are known, but they aren’t yet being implemented on a large scale. This creates rippling problems since an uneducated society cannot produce enough educated individuals to perform vital functions, particularly when it comes to leadership.

Gathering the Gang

There was a time when these GMG group members acted mainly as individuals — writing books, doing seminars, coaching people, and running their own independent businesses. Then they began coalescing into groups, helping to inspire, motivate, and support each other in doing transformational work. Now those groups are beginning to connect in order to coordinate their efforts on a larger scale. This is a very interesting development to witness.

Group cohesion is a challenging thing to accomplish in this case — almost like herding cats. I’m especially curious to see if these groups will be able to find enough common ground to work on bigger projects that require significant cooperation.

My interpretation of the GMG and similar groups and that one of their desired functions is to help us transition from the old, dying systems to new, more sustainable ones. There’s a sense of optimism as well as urgency arising within these groups. On the one hand, we have a lot of smart people now agreeing to coordinate their efforts, doing their best to keep their egos in check as they work together for the common good. On the other hand, the clock is ticking. The old systems only have so much life left in them before they can no longer be maintained.

Some of these people are working on education. Others are tackling environmental issues. Some are working on basic needs. Still others work to raise awareness and teach oneness and compassion. One woman I know works with prisons. They’re making progress on the important fronts. The main question is whether progress is happening quickly enough.

Birth 2012

One thing that’s being coordinated, as explained in Jack’s book, is to have a planetary birthday party on Dec 22, 2012, which is 1 year, 1 month, and 11 days from now. This is yet another step in the direction of helping people come together, set aside their differences, and embrace that we all share a common destiny on this planet. In the grand scheme it may be a small step, but it will help raise awareness of bigger issues and draw more people into the transition process. You can learn more about this birthday celebration and sign up to participate at birth2012.com.

Expanding Your Life Purpose by Finding Your Tribe

Instead of regarding your life purpose as your individual mission, you may find it more empowering to interpret your purpose as part of a team effort. You’re not acting alone. Your actions can be coordinated with others to have more impact.

This doesn’t mean surrendering your will to a group. It means noticing where your individual strengths could contribute greater results by coordinating your efforts with others.

Most members of the GMG are much older than I am, belonging to my parents’ generation. I resonate with their values, philosophies, and projects, but I can see that their paths and my path are a bit different. We’re all working on similar challenges, just from different angles.

I can see how great the level of mutual support is within this group. Many GMG members have been friends for decades. Sometimes they support each other from a distance. Sometimes they work together directly. Either way they’re bound by common values and a common cause.

Whereas members of the GMG often have their values rooted in the 60s, molded by such experiences as the Civil Rights Movement and the Vietnam War, my past was shaped by different events, such as the massive expansion of communications technology, the fall of the Soviet Union, the Gulf Wars, and 9/11. I was also strongly influenced by West Coast values since I grew up in California, which is where many members of the GMG currently live.

I like riding with the GMG, I share a lot of love and support with them, and I can see that their missions combine nicely with my own, but energetically and soulfully, the people I resonate with most strongly wouldn’t think of themselves as members of this group. The GMG feels like family to me, but on the level of aunts, uncles, and some cousins. Lately, however, I’ve been feeling drawn to connect with the people who’d be on the level of brothers and sisters.

The Next Generation

Many of the problems the GMG is tackling won’t be solved within their lifetimes. It will be up to the next generation to receive the torch and carry it further downfield.

Reading Jack’s book got me thinking about the people who might be part of this next generation, people who are currently in their 30s and 40s (and perhaps mature 20-somethings) and who want to help shift the planet in a more positive direction.

I’ve met many of these people, but I feel we’re still in the phase of working primarily as individuals, mostly doing our own things while connecting socially from time to time, like many GMG members were doing a decade ago.

Due to the age difference, our careers aren’t as well developed as those of the GMG. On average we don’t have as many resources at our disposal, and our networks aren’t as powerful. But we do have some key advantages. For starters we understand and can utilize technology a lot better than the previous generation. This is a generalization of course, but I don’t think it’s an unreasonable one.

I’ve encountered a few networking groups for people close to my age, but they’re usually very business-centered. Often they just want to help promote each other’s products and become more successful in business. There’s nothing wrong with that per se, but such groups don’t usually resonate with me. That isn’t the kind of vibe I’m looking for.

I’d rather connect with people who can direct their ambition towards making a positive difference in the world, especially people with strong service-oriented values.

For many years I’ve been hearing the frustrations of this next generation. Many of them see that the world needs help, and they’d like to contribute somehow, but they see no practical way of doing this. Meanwhile they’re being influenced to play it safe, to go into the corporate world and get a job. When they do this, however, they often wind up in empty, soulless positions — if they can find work at all. They do work that just doesn’t matter that much (according to their values, not mine), but they do it because they feel it’s necessary to support themselves. Consequently, they’re never all that motivated to do their best work or to advance their career skills, so they naturally stunt their career development. Years pass, and they feel they’re falling behind, but they don’t know what to do about it. They often blame themselves and assume the problem is their lack of drive, discipline, or motivation. And they try to hold out hope that something will change for them.

I think the real issue though is that our systems of business and government haven’t kept pace with our evolving consciousness. Many of these people are just too conscious to get sucked into the belief that says moving up the corporate ladder is important. They see through such shallow structures and avoid these dead-end paths, but they lack good practical alternatives.

On the other hand, this generation is more connected than ever, thanks to the Internet, social networking, and powerful portable devices. Quite often these people invest more time and energy in their social lives than in their career development.

Overall these people feel very pressured. There’s pressure to get something going career-wise, but the motivation isn’t there to do it. So the time gets devoted to the Internet and online socializing, and the career path gets drained of life and meaning to feed the social life.

The Need for Better Solutions

I avoided this fate by starting my own business, which is a solution I’ve recommend to others, but I understand that entrepreneurship isn’t a viable path for everyone. Many people would much rather work for someone else, and they’d love to do meaningful work that inspires them — and pays the bills.

Also, starting a new business often involves spending a lot of time working alone, and younger people are so well networked with their peers that it’s harder for them to go that route. It would make more sense for them to work together in groups to do creative work as a team.

Another problem with entrepreneurship is that many people get sucked into soulless business models. They gradually fall into a money-first focus that’s out of alignment with oneness, which leads to long-term unhappiness and stress. It’s sad to see the life drain out of such people when they go that route. They can’t even hug properly after a while.

I love how the community around my work has grown and how people help and support each other and stay connected socially. But many of these same people (perhaps even most of them) are experiencing significant challenges in their career and financial lives. They feel stuck.

Even when they do start their own businesses, long-term success is difficult. I didn’t make my first business profitable till its 6th year, for instance. This isn’t unusual for entrepreneurs. But how to pay the bills in the meantime?

If we want to move away from the soulless corporate job trap as the primary career path that people of this generation settle for in order to cover their expenses, we’ll need to create more and better alternatives.

Getting Stronger

Many members of the GMG are very well off financially. In most cases it took them decades to get there, but it does make service easier when you have a steady stream of royalties from bestselling books coming in, your Rolodex includes lots of influential friends, and Oprah likes you.

When I look at people around my age or younger who have a service-orientated mindset, many of them are struggling in one way or another. Either they’re struggling financially while maintain a strong heart-centeredness, or they’re doing well financially and struggling in their connectedness.

As I’ve seen with the GMG, it isn’t necessary to go it alone. We can help each other grow stronger, which puts us in positions to have a greater positive impact.

At this time in my life, I’ve been encountering a number of people who seem like they could be pieces to a bigger puzzle. Individually they have some interesting strengths and talents, but it’s difficult for them to leverage their strengths on their own. Increasingly I’m sensing that it’s important to help connect the dots between them, whereby some of them could work together in small teams to do some interesting and beneficial work.

Earlier this year I decided to grow my business by hiring more people, but I think that mindset has been too limiting. Most of the people that have been showing up haven’t been the right fit for my current business needs, but I can see that some of them might be able to work well with each other in a more flexible context.

I think it would be beneficial to bring some of these people together in person and help them connect with each other. They could keep in touch online, but for the best possible connection I think a face to face meet-up would be essential.

Most members of the GMG already have their own businesses, but this isn’t as common in the next generation. The next generation, however, has a major social advantage — by and large they’re really good at communicating with each other. In fact, I think many of them would crave the opportunity to work with very conscious people their own age as part of a team. It sure beats getting a mindless corporate job, and for many people it also beats working alone on their own.

Service Orientation

The key is to bring people together who are truly interested in serving the greater good in some fashion, people who have compatible values and similar mindsets regarding service — and people who are willing to work hard to become really good at what they do, so they can increase their ability to contribute over time.

For many years I’ve had a vision of bringing service-oriented people together and helping to provide the support structures that would enable them to do what they came here to do. I think what’s been holding me up was trying to figure out the right business structure for that — by expanding my current business, forming a non-profit, etc. I realize now that the underlying structure isn’t that important. That’s putting the cart before the horse. I think if we can just get some of these people in the same place talking to each other and discussing ideas, the structural issues will sort themselves out.

At this point the idea isn’t fully formed, so I’m tossing this out there to see where it leads. Who are these next generation people? What have they done so far that demonstrates their commitment to service? Would they be interested in connecting regularly with other “family members” who share their values?

Uncopyrighted by Steve Pavlina

If I see someone in emotional pain, I also see that within them is a seed of joy that they’ve simply lost touch with. I can understand why they’re feeling bad (empathy), but that doesn’t mean I have to feel bad with them (sympathy with the lower self). Instead I’d rather feel good as I watch that seed of growth within them expanding through the contrast they’re experiencing (sympathy with the higher self).

This doesn’t mean being heartless. It means using the heart a little more accurately — to connect with a person’s inner strength instead of their temporary projections of weakness.

Feeling bad that people are suffering isn’t much of a remedy. For some it can be part of a process of healing, but the feeling bad part isn’t a necessary component (unless you believe it is and therefore make it so).

If people insist on suffering by resisting expansions in certain directions, allow them to do so. All suffering is temporary and will eventually end, not because those particular expansions cease but because people will eventually change how they relate to such expansions. This shift frees up trapped energy, thereby making new expansions possible.

The best thing you can do with your energy is to focus it where you’d like to see further expansion. Personally I’m not that interested in increasing the amount of suffering in the world, so I largely ignore it. I’m much more interested in expanding other aspects of life such as creativity, abundance, playfulness, a sense of purpose, fascinating technology, openness, honesty, courage, expressions of affection (hugs, cuddling), lucid dreaming, traveling, and of course hot sex with Canadians.

If you choose to participate in the expansion of suffering, you’re free to do so, and no one will stop you. Lots of people seem to find it interesting enough to dedicate a significant part of their lives to it. Just as there are people who can’t fathom how I could ignore suffering, I find it ludicrous that so many are able to ignore Canada.

While some may convince themselves that it’s a good idea to pay more attention to suffering, I shall continue to focus my attention upon the expansion of yumminess, and I’ll leave the committed sufferers to their own preferences. If you think it’s better to focus on suffering, I suggest you welcome the frustration I cause you as part of the expansion of suffering that you’re inviting. Happy to help out!

If on the other hand you wish to help me co-create the further expansion of yumminess, then let’s pour our collective energy into what we want to see more of in the world, and withdraw our attention from what doesn’t inspire us.

What inspires you? What would you like to increase and expand in this reality?

Uncopyrighted by Steve Pavlina

Scarcity -> Freedom

When I experienced financial scarcity, I disliked it very much. It bothered me not to be able to afford many things. I hated seeing wealthier people live with fewer limits while I had to watch my money so carefully. I hated working hard for years and ending up with less money than before I started. Sometimes I felt incompetent just because I couldn’t get control of my finances. I resisted my experience of financial scarcity. I thought it was very unfair that some people should have so much while I should be struggling to pay my bills and get out of debt.

But spiritually I was launching what Esther Hicks calls rockets of desires. Financial scarcity isn’t me. I want to be financially abundant. I want to be able to afford anything I desire. I want to live without financial limitations. I want money to become a smaller part of my life instead of my constant daily concern. I want to be more generous. I want to live in a world where there is abundance for all. I want a way to make money that I can feel good about. I want to earn enough to cover my expenses without having to work such long hours every week. I would love to be able to take a vacation now and then. I’d love to have time for travel. Please!

These desires helped me see the truth that I wasn’t living congruently. I wanted to be someone other than I was. I saw that deep down, my spirit was more than these petty problems. Some part of me was elevated above my situation and retained this truth. I just had to access it by following the trail of desires. Desires lead us back to our true selves.

The truth is this: My spirit is abundant and limitless. My spirit is creative and resourceful. My spirit is generous and giving. My spirit is complete; he wants for nothing. My spirit is free. My spirit is far more powerful than money.

Cruelty -> Compassion

When I learned of the process by which a beautiful animal becomes a packaged product for sale, I was disgusted by it. How could people be so cruel and heartless? How could people be so blind and callous towards suffering?

But spiritually… more rockets of desire: I do not wish to be a cruel, heartless, or ignorant person. I want to have the courage to seek out and embrace truth and to act congruently with it, even if it requires significant lifestyle changes. I want to keep my heart open, to care about all living creatures, and to live in harmony with them. I want to be brave enough to stand up for what I believe is right, even if it seems like the whole world believes the opposite. I want to be a person who’s unwilling to take advantage of the helpless just because I can. I want to be vegan for the rest of my life. I want to teach my children to care about animals.

My spirit is caring, compassionate, and nonviolent. My spirit knows that we are all one. My spirit is innately powerful and therefore has no need to overpower others. My spirit respects and values all life.

Separation -> Connection

As I was nearing the end of my marriage, I experienced more resistance. There has to be some way to make this work. Why is it so difficult to get my needs met? Why do I feel trapped? I don’t like going through this process. I don’t want anyone to get hurt. How did I get myself into this situation to begin with?

And the rockets of desire: I want to experience relationships that are free and open. I want to connect with people on the basis of desire and choice. I want to experience love without obligation. I want to enjoy relationships that are free of jealousy, guilt, and ambivalence. I want to care deeply about people. I want to make people that I care about feel good. I want to enjoy people as they are and not feel that I have to change them to be happy. I want to say “I love you” more often and to hear it said more often as well.

My spirit is free. My spirit is deeply connected, yet it is unattached to the specific forms of those connections; it perceives oneness and beauty regardless of form. My spirit accepts all and requires nothing to change. My spirit has all that it needs to create its own happiness. My spirit allows, invites, and attracts. My spirit can never be lonely or trapped.

Imperfection -> Beauty

And more resistance in relating to my physical body: Why can’t my body be the way I want it? Why does it take so much effort to lose that last bit of body fat? Why is flexibility so difficult for me? I miss distance running; I wish I hadn’t messed up my knee. Why do I look so dorky in that photo? Why is my hair slowly retreating from my forehead?

And the rockets of desire: I want my body to be healthy, strong, and physically fit. I want to be more flexible. I want to enjoy running again. I want my body fat to be lower. I want to less physically judgmental of others, accepting them as they are regardless of their physical fitness or appearance. I want to enjoy exercise as a form of play. I want to fully enjoy and appreciate my body and all that it does for me. I want to smile when I look in the mirror.

My spirit lives within the physical but beyond it as well. It perceives no ugliness and sees only beauty. My spirit declines to judge on the basis of physical appearance and sees everything as a part of itself. My spirit appreciates and relishes the chance to experience life in physical form. It knows that the challenges of the physical world serve to enhance its expansion. My spirit loves and appreciates the body it gets to use here. My spirit sees beauty everywhere.

Coldness -> Warmth

In seeing how people relate to each other, I think: Why do so many people keep their true feelings to themselves? I hate trying to communicate through shields. I’m tired of talking to shells. I don’t like it when people hide their hearts and souls. I hate not being able to talk to strangers; the world is full of strangers — why can’t it be full of friends? I’m so tired of walking around and having people pretend that we’re separate. I’m sick of seeing people depressed when I’d gladly give them a hug.

And new rockets of desire: I want to connect with people without shields. I want to hug people when I meet them instead of merely shaking hands. I want to relate to everyone I meet as if we’re already best friends. I want to cuddle my female friends and bask together in those blissful feelings of love and warmth. I want to communicate with depth and soulfulness. I want my relationships to be full of happiness, playfulness, and spirit. I want to be a beacon of openness, honesty, and receptivity. I want to be able to go out each day and experience deep connection, warmth, and affection wherever I am. I want to connect easily with others, and I want others to connect easily with me. I want to feel surrounded by friends and family.

My spirit recognizes that we’re always connected. There is no separation, no ice to break. We’re already family. We have physical bodies and physical lives, but they exist to serve the expansion of spirit, not to limit or define who we are. Connecting is easy and automatic.

Sin -> Spirit

In coming to terms with my sexuality and that of others, I feel frustrated by conflicted thoughts that tell me it’s shallow and inappropriate to desire a woman sexually, but it’s okay to connect with her mentally and emotionally. In part through my Catholic upbringing, I was taught that love is good, but lust is evil. And yet towards many women, I still feel both love and lust. I’m tired of thinking that one feeling is more virtuous and the other more sinful.

More rockets of desire: I want to be able to connect with women on all levels — physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual — without guilt or shame. I want to relate to women on the basis of honest and open communication without hiding our true thoughts and feelings from each other. I want to enjoy a life where lovers and friends needn’t be sharply separated. I want to regard sexuality as sacred and spiritual, yet without disconnecting from the physical pleasure of it. I want to be able to connect with a woman’s mind sometimes, her body other times, and still other times, her heart and spirit — and sometimes all of these at once. I want women to reject those influences that tell them they aren’t naturally beautiful.

My spirit recognizes the purpose of the sexual drive, which is to ensure that we connect. Sexual desire is a projection of our connectedness at the spiritual level. It is an intense feeling because we are intensely connected. My spirit embraces and acknowledges the desire to feel connected as innately beautiful. There is no shame or guilt present. To want to be inside each other is a perfect projection of the truth that we are already inside ourselves, creating this amazing expansion from within. We find each other attractive because spirit is aware enough to recognize and appreciate its own beauty.

From Resistance to Awareness

For every adversity, problem, or challenge, we shoot off new rockets of desire. Those rockets of desire, when we finally let go and follow them, lead us to a deeper awareness of our true selves. Our desires put us back in touch with who we really are. Once we remember that, the desires themselves begin to manifest.

As long as we resist our experience, we cause it to persist and intensify. The more we hate financial scarcity, the more of it we attract. The more we hate feeling disconnected, the more disconnection we attract. The more we hate our bodies, the more our bodies betray us. We continue to attract more of what we don’t want until we finally leverage that resistance to discover what we do want. Then we can follow those new rockets of desire back to our true selves.

Notice what experiences you’ve been resisting lately. Turn your attention to the new desires you’ve been launching as a result of these seemingly negative experiences. Can you see how much more you desire abundance, love, peace, etc. as a result of having these experiences? Can you see how every negative experience teaches you more about your true self?

Follow the trail of these desires back to your true self. Who are you really? What is your deepest nature?

As long as you remain out of alignment with yourself, you’ll continue to attract more of what you don’t want. But when you reaffirm who you truly are and reintegrate this spiritual truth into your daily life, the negative experiences will quickly fade, and you’ll begin attracting what you desire with relative ease.

Learn to appreciate what you still resist. Notice that these experiences serve as signposts directing you back to spirit.

Uncopyrighted by Steve Pavlina

Watch the videos here: A Life That Matters

Once you’ve watched the first video, follow the link at the end of the text below the video to view the next video in the series. There are 3 videos in total, and each one is a little over 10 minutes long.

These videos will give you a good overview of the more detailed process you’ll experience in the Life on Purpose Virtual Video Coach program that helps you discover your life purpose and begin living in alignment with it.

If you feel you’ve been drifting lately and would like to have more meaning, focus, and centeredness in your life — or if you’ve been thinking about a career change to do work that’s more aligned with who you truly are — these videos are a good place to begin.

Enjoy!

Uncopyrighted by Steve Pavlina

One of the top requests in that survey was for a product on the topic of Life Purpose. In reading through the many hundreds of comments, it became clear that a lot of people still feel they’re drifting, and they need more help bringing a sense of purpose to their lives, so they can feel centered and at peace with themselves — and so they can feel they’re on a path to making a meaningful contribution instead of being stuck in unfulfilling situations.

Another thing that stood out was that people want more than how-to information. They need help motivating themselves to go through the process. So even though I’ve written a good deal about life purpose in the past, and many people have found it extremely helpful, it isn’t enough to get everyone to the place they’d like to be — the place of having a deep-rooted connection to one’s life purpose.

I started working on a product along those lines because it seemed like a good place to start. Many other aspects of self development stem from clarifying your life purpose. I completed the product outline, which I expected would become a 6-10 hour audio program. But when I reviewed the outline, something didn’t feel quite right about it to me. It didn’t feel like this was really “my product.” I felt like I was using a semi-forced process that wasn’t my normal process for creating inspired content.

I acknowledged to myself that I was out of flow, so I put the product on hold for a while, worked on other projects, and took a weeklong road trip through California, intending to come back to the project a little later with a fresh perspective. I pondered whether I should take the product in a different direction. I didn’t want to scrap it because I know there’s a need for it, but I’ve learned over the years that it’s important to trust my intuition when it comes to such matters.

Synchronicities

During this time I received an email from Dr. Brad Swift about a new product he was releasing on the subject of… you guessed it… life purpose. I was already familiar with Brad’s work because I reviewed his book Life on Purpose: Six Passages to an Inspired Life in 2007, and we’ve kept in touch over the years. Life on Purpose is simply the best book on life purpose I’ve ever read, and it deserves the rare honor of maintaining a solid 5-star average rating on Amazon.com.

Brad’s new program is called the Life on Purpose Virtual Video Coach. It’s an online video-based course where Brad personally guides you through his 6-step Life on Purpose process one lesson at a time. All the videos can be streamed online, and the course includes a PDF workbook and some bonus material.

I went through the entire program in May, and I loved it. I had to chuckle at the synchronicity because this was essentially the product I was trying to create. My ideas and processes were different of course, but the end benefits would be the same — to help you bring a clear sense of purpose to your life and to fully ground it in your daily actions, so that you’re truly living on purpose.

I also thought to myself, Well… that was easier than I thought. I intended for the creation of a certain product, and here it is. I didn’t even have to record it.

So first, I received the lesson I seem to keep needing to learn — to create from a place of inspiration and not to try to force creativity. But beyond that, I also got a lot of value from Brad’s course. If you visit his website, you’ll see my testimonial there. That was actually part of an email I sent to him to tell him what I thought of the course, and I was happy to have him include it on his product page when he asked if that would be okay.

Life on Purpose Virtual Video Coach

I don’t think of this as an info product because it’s not primarily a course to put new knowledge in your head, although that is a part of it. The program guides you through a process that’s all about you, so it has more to do with gaining self knowledge and understanding.

One step at a time, you’ll be guided to reveal your inherited purpose (your fear-based false purpose that masquerades as your true purpose), then to discover your true purpose, and finally to ground your true purpose into your life so you can enjoy more happiness and fulfillment.

This course goes well beyond the point of forming a clear statement of purpose. It provides many tools and techniques to help you begin living congruently with your purpose and to shift away from stuckness as well as your inherited purpose.

I read Brad’s book and loved it; however, I gained much more value from his Virtual Video Coach. I was a bit surprised because I figured it would simply be a video version of his book. It does cover a lot of the same ground as the book, but I experienced the material in a totally different way. Brad has a very centered and peaceful way of communicating, and watching him on video is (in my opinion) a much better expression of who he is than words on a page.

I’m not going to go into detail about all the features and benefits of the course because you can find all of that information on his website. I think it would be more authentic to simply share how the course affected me.

Doing vs. Being

For many years I’ve had a pretty clear sense of my life purpose, and I like to think I’ve been doing a good job living it. I feel fulfilled most of the time, and I’m very pleased with my current direction. My normal experience is to feel that I’m in the flow of inspiration, and I seldom feel stuck. My life has been working very well, and it seems to be getting better each year.

Here’s the purpose statement I currently have on my About page:

to care deeply, connect playfully, love intensely, and share generously;
to joyfully explore, learn, grow, and prosper;
and to creatively, brilliantly, and honorably serve the highest good of all.

It may not mean anything to you, but I still get a surge of emotion each time I read it. I think it does a job of succinctly summing up how I wish to live and what inspires me most.

This purpose statement has worked well for me over the years, but Brad’s course gave me another way of thinking about purpose. It didn’t replace my current purpose statement, which I still love, but it gave me another perspective I hadn’t considered.

Instead of thinking about purpose in terms of doing, Brad encourages you to think about it in terms of being.

I think one of the reasons my purpose statement has worked so well for me is that it incorporates beingness, and it isn’t heavy on the doingness in a way that might make me feel pressured or stressed. If your purpose is only about doing, then when you aren’t taking action, you aren’t on purpose; that creates a pressure to be doing, doing, doing… even when you’re feeling burned out. I agree with Brad that it’s better to define your purpose in such a way that you can feel happy and fulfilled at all times, not just when you’re taking a lot of action. I figure I must be doing something right because I often feel very grateful even when I’m just running errands or hanging out with friends.

Fortunately my current purpose statement translates fairly easy to beingness. “To care deeply” means to be a caring person. “To connect playfully” means to be a playful person. “To joyfully explore” means to be an explorer.

I liked considering my purpose statement through the lens of being. It helped me recognize that no matter where I am or what I’m doing, I can always be living on purpose. I don’t always have to be doing something specific.

But there was a greater benefit beyond this. Brad’s insights encouraged me to reinterpret my goals, projects, and tasks from the perspective of beingness. I reviewed those items and asked myself, Who am I really desiring to be here?

My original purpose statement addresses the questions of what and how. I also have an intuitive understanding of the why. But it doesn’t really address the question of where. Where do I ultimately see myself living on purpose?

This is a fairly general question, but it gave me a lot of clarity. I thought about why I’m in Las Vegas and what I can do here specifically. I thought about where in the broad field of personal development I most enjoy working. I thought about what kinds of situations and positions I enjoy most.

There are so many facets to this exploration that I’m still exploring it — which is actually a part of my purpose: to joyfully explore. But I’ve already gained more clarity about some “locations”, or states of being, that I enjoy most.

One place I enjoy is being in the increasingly overlapping space between technology and personal development. I feel perfectly comfortable in both fields. I liked being one of the first people to leverage blogging technology to spread personal development ideas. Now it’s commonplace, and there are lots of people leveraging tech to promote PD. I think that’s wonderful.

I feel right at home in this tech-PD space. I like having an online business, and I regard the Internet as my digital home. I also love exploring personal growth and sharing it with others. Brad’s course gave me the clarity to see that positionally speaking, I love having one foot in the tech world and the other foot in the PD world, and I look for ways to further connect the dots between them.

Another location I love is the space of connecting deeply with people face to face. I like that I can discuss topics like life purpose or subjective reality with people shortly after I meet them. I like “breaking the ice” by recognizing that there never was any ice to begin with. I enjoy maintaining an open and approachable posture; I can’t always do that online due to the overwhelming numbers, but I’m at least able to do it in person most of the time. To me, being in the space of an intimate connection with someone is a very joyful place to be.

When I remind myself to simply be in these places, my life flows very easily, and I feel happy and fulfilled. Interestingly, this focus on being has led to a lot more action.

For example, by reminding myself that I love being in the overlapping space between tech and PD, I’ve been devouring tech company biographies lately, coming up with new ideas for how tech and PD could continue to merge. I’ve also made some tweaks to my website, so it’s serving up pages more efficiently than it was a week ago.

By reminding myself that I enjoy face time with people, I arranged a meetup in a local park last Sunday. About 14 people showed up. I brought a bunch of my discs that I use for disc golf, and several of us had fun throwing them around; that was my way of expressing “to connect playfully”. I’m also working on booking more workshops for the Fall, which will bring even more people together in the same physical location, where all of us can connect playfully and learn and grow together.

The irony is that I don’t feel like I’m really doing much, but I’m getting a lot more done than usual. I’m not trying to force anything. I just focus on where I want to be, and action flows effortlessly from there. I’m enjoying this really nice flow right now.

A few days ago, I was talking to Erin on the phone and she said something like, “I can tell you’re in a really good place right now. I’m not sensing that you need to change anything. You seem really happy right where you are.” She’s right.

Being in the right place is very powerful. When you’re in the right place — for you — the doing part follows naturally from it. You don’t have to push yourself to take action or fight against procrastination. When you’re in the right place of beingness, life automatically supports you.

More Distinctions

What I shared above is only one of many powerful distinctions I got from Brad’s course. Although he presents a 6-step linear process that’s easy to follow, I personally found that the course had a very nonlinear, expanding-in-all-directions effect on me.

If you watch the videos and do the workbook exercises in a straightforward manner, you’ll arrive at the point of having your own statement of purpose and a deep grasp of what it means. You’ll also begin living in alignment with that purpose, watching your life take on a positive new direction.

Don’t be fooled by the seemingly linear nature of the course, however. It’s a lot more than a step by step process. I found that several points really stuck with me, such as Brad’s coffee mug analogy, and got me thinking in new directions about other parts of my life such as my goals, projects, and actions. I started thinking less about to-dos and more about “Where do I want to be right now?” Once I figured that out, I discovered to my delight that the right actions flowed rather easily from there.

Let me conclude simply by saying that I highly recommend this course, and I think you’ll gain a lot by going through it — even if you think you’re already pretty clear about your purpose.

If you want to bring more purpose, meaning, and fulfillment to your life, you can’t go wrong here. Brad is definitely one of the good guys in this field, and I genuinely expect you’ll gain a lot from his program. It even includes a better than money-back guarantee, so you have nothing to lose by trying it.

I completed the course in less than a week, although you can certainly go through the lessons more slowly if you want time to integrate them one by one. An hour or two a week would be a very reasonable pacing.

To learn more, visit the Life on Purpose Virtual Video Coach page.

Well, that was an easy product to get out the door. What’s next?

Uncopyrighted by Steve Pavlina

Be grateful for the strength you’ve gained
Your inner muscles bulge
But lips are drained and legs are chained
By fears you still indulge

Your animator kept from view
Locked up inside a cell
It pleads release long overdue
While you secure the shell

If you should seek to sow the seed
Of peace within your heart,
The breathless breather must be freed
No secret self apart

Your essence never lacks the nerve
Its power shines divine
To be in spirit is to serve
With courage by design

So dig your cowardice a grave
And lower it to rest
Your daring, dauntless dreams will save
The slave still dispossessed

Uncopyrighted by Steve Pavlina

In previous articles about lightworking and darkworking, I mentioned that both paths ultimately lead to the same place. In this article I’ll explain what that convergence looks like.

Lightworking and darkworking are potent power-building methods. By focusing intently on a unidirectional flow of energy, a strong current can be created, and inner resistance can be overcome. On a practical level, this means that through lightworking or darkworking, you can become a lot stronger than you were in a pre-polarized state.

For a lightworker, this flow takes the form of service. The lightworker focuses on an outward flow of energy through giving, giving, and more giving.

For a darkworker, this flow takes the form of selfishness. The darkworker focuses on an inward flow of energy through taking, taking, and more taking.

Ultimately these are phases of development, not permanent resting places.

Initially, when a non-polarized person focuses on one modality (either lightworking or darkworker), their power can increase dramatically.

Power in this case is your ability to create your reality. Pre-polarized people are generally weak. They have very little power, so they largely play the role of pawns. They don’t know how to use their power well enough, so their creative expression is low.

Pre-polarized people are constantly dissipating their power. They fall into patterns like focusing on what they don’t want, complaining, and giving their power away to others. If they set goals, they usually fail to achieve them. They’re easily distracted and knocked off course. Someone else is always the boss of them. They don’t wield much direct control over their lives.

Polarized people, on the other hand, are focused. Because they’re highly congruent, they create a strong unidirectional energy flow. By getting clear about their deepest desires, they’re able to overcome obstacles more easily.

Generally speaking, highly polarized people have an easy time functioning in society. They know how to use their power to solve practical problems. Lightworkers and darkworkers may channel their power differently, but they can get things done.

You’ll rarely hear polarized people say something like, “I can’t afford that,” as such a statement is an abuse of power. Lightworkers and darkworkers are stronger than that. They know how to channel their power to get what they want instead of inadvertently creating the opposite.

Moreover, lightworkers and darkworkers aren’t into wishful thinking. They’re able to get real results. If they desire something, they can get it. Another reason they’ll rarely say something like, “I can’t afford that,” is that they know they’ll get what they want if they continue to use their power intelligently. It’s not just wishful thinking that makes them focus on their desires. It’s experience.

The Shadow

For a time lightworking and darkworking will generate a strong increase in power. Positive results are generated more quickly. But eventually they reach a point where their power seems to be maxed out. It may even begin to decline.

This is the point where the shadow self needs to be integrated. The shadow is the opposite polarity.

A lightworker’s shadow self includes the voices of greed, selfishness, ambition, competition, lust, and the desire for power.

A darkworker’s shadow self includes the voices of love, caring, compassion, and the desire for authentic connection.

For either modality the initial impulse will be to repress these parts of the self, if they’re even acknowledged.

A lightworker, for instance, may do more inner work to try to transcend thoughts of selfishness, or s/he may try to rationalize or justify his/her actions as a form of service.

Similarly, a darkworker may subtly sabotage relationships and keep people at a distance, so they don’t get too close and point out the compassionate shadow self.

Integration

When the lightworker or darkworker can recognize that they’ve reached this point, then the work of integration begins.

For the lightworker it’s time to recognize that service to self and service to others are not in conflict. The more the lightworker serves him/herself, the more s/he can be of service to others. The lightworker must also recognize that s/he deserves to receive the service of others, and that denying this gift now would be a mistake.

For the darkworker it’s time to recognize that the best way to get what s/he wants is to serve others. The more the darkworker begins to care about others, the more powerful s/he can become. The darkworker must also recognize that s/he actually feels best when sharing value with others, and that denying the value of giving now would be a mistake.

When lightworkers and darkworkers begin to integrate their shadows, they both gain another increase in power. They also increase their alignment with the principle of oneness.

New Frequencies of Power

Unlike the character of Ebenezer Scrooge in Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, transformation doesn’t usually occur overnight. It takes time and patience.

The benefit of polarization is that it helps you learn how to channel power effectively. It also leads to a deeper understanding of the nature of power.

Power can be a nebulous concept at times. Asking questions like, “What should I do?” and “What might I create now?” tend to be difficult to answer. Lots of people answer, “I don’t know.” And so all they know how to do is to continue affirming the status quo. And quite often the status quo is not at all what they really want.

But when the lightworker asks, “How can I help this person?” or when the darkworker asks, “What would give me pleasure?” there’s more clarity. Such questions are usually easier to answer, especially when you consistently stick with one side or the other for a period of years.

The lightworker gets really good at channeling power into service, and the darkworker, into self-centered pursuits. These are limited uses of power, but they’re educational. In the end these training periods can be very worthwhile.

When integration begins, the lightworker and darkworker seek to maintain their focus while expanding the breadth of their power. The goal is to keep the intensity high while broadening the spectrum.

Lightworkers and darkworkers each know how to channel certain frequencies of power. And one of the best ways for them to integrate other frequencies is to learn from each other. Essentially they become each other’s teachers. They may butt heads at times, but among powerful people there tends to be a certain degree of mutual respect as they learn more about the nature of power from each other. Through their interactions the hero and the villain both become stronger, as each becomes more like the other.

More broadly, powerful people tend to attract each other, regardless of their primary polarity.

Interacting with people who have mastered frequencies of power that are very different from the ones you’ve mastered brings about a whole new set of challenges. Can you master a broader spectrum of power frequencies without losing focus?

Can the empire-building darkworker transform into a wealthy philanthropist? Can the service-driven lightworker become an effective marketer?

This transformation can be a disruptive time, but it’s also an exciting time because more frequencies are available for exploration. The path may include many starts and stops. But in the end, the lightworker and the darkworker have the potential to gain each other’s powers, which unlocks more creative energy for all.

Uncopyrighted by Steve Pavlina

Well… this 30-day trial of inspiration is absolutely amazing. I’m so far down the rabbit hole of subjective reality that I can perceive little else but rabbits now. And there sure are a LOT of rabbits down here!

Today is technically Day 12 of this experiment. That seems ridiculous to me. How could so much have changed in only 12 days? The pacing of life has become almost unfathomable compared to what it was like before. I feel like I’ve lived through the mental and emotional equivalent of about 3 months in less than 2 weeks. Each day is like a week in terms of the density of its intensity.

I know this is a long update (over 7400 words), but it still barely scratches the surface of what’s been happening. Fortunately you don’t actually have to read it. I’ll simply dream that I get to read and digest your reactions to this as if you’d read it. But they won’t even be your reactions because there’s no you. I’ll be hearing the echoing projections of my own inner reactions to what I’m sharing with myself. I can accept that. I still need to write all of this down for my own processing reasons. My mind needs some time to digest the events of the past week.

Fragile Tension

For some reason I now own an iPad. Why do I have an iPad? I’m not really sure. I wouldn’t have gotten one for objective reasons, but I had to get one in order to stick to the rules of this experiment.

l feel like Riker in the ST:TNG episode “Frame of Mind” saying, “I still have a phaser… why do I have a phaser?” (If you don’t get that reference, go download the Star Trek files to your character’s database.)

I went out Friday night to run some usual errands. At least I thought they were usual. It was the first time I went out since I dreamt that I flew back from Santa Fe last Monday. By Friday I was more immersed in my experiment than ever. I even felt inspired to do these errands at the time. I was also nearly out of dream food, so I was going to hit Costco and Whole Foods to do a typical food shop.

The errands may have been typical, but I wasn’t my usual self. I’d been holding the subjective reality perspective for days on end. As I went to my garage to get in my car, I reminded myself that this was a dream world. It’s funny that my dream car is a 2010 Hyundai Sonata. Perhaps I need to upgrade my imagination. Then again, I like the car, and it runs great, so as far as dream cars go, it’s not bad.

Something was very different. Driving my car wasn’t the same, nor was shopping. I’d normally find such experiences rather boring, but now I was filled with child-like wonder. Everything was fresh and new and exciting. In a dream world, anything can happen, so I was keeping myself energetically open and receptive, not knowing what to expect.

I bought mostly fresh produce, but then on impulse I randomly grabbed a few bottles of wine — three of them. That’s very odd behavior for me. In the past I’d typically drink wine once or twice a year. But now it was just dream wine, and it seemed like a fun thing to buy at the time, especially since I’d be paying with dream money. I didn’t even look at what I was buying. I just randomly grabbed some bottles and placed them into my cart. I barely noticed what kind or color. I just pulled whatever I felt drawn to.

The wine ranged in price from $7 to $13 per bottle. One was a 2005 Spanish red wine. I don’t think I’ve ever had Spanish wine before, and the type wasn’t something I’d ever heard of. When I had some later, it turned out it was really good, just the right blend of mild sweetness and tartness and not too acidic. Dream wine apparently tastes better than the real stuff. But given that my dream alcohol tolerance is so low, I felt tipsy even after one glass. Why? Because I believed it would affect me like that, and so it did. If you dream that a substance affects you, your mind creates the effect you expect.

When I checked out at Costco, the female dream clerk and her helper were extra friendly and flirtatious — and hot — so I flirted back. It got a bit silly. That’s unusual for Costco, but I shrugged it off and left the store. Hot people working at Costco? Hmmm… unusual but not unheard of. Even so, it got my attention.

After Costco, I had a strong urge to pop over to the dream Best Buy, which was nearby in the same shopping center. I felt I was supposed to go buy an iPad. Why? No idea. It seemed like a cool device, but logically I didn’t perceive a strong need for one, although I do feel it would be cool to travel with one, so I can leave my heavier Macbook Pro at home. I went to the Apple section of the store. It was around 9:00pm dream time, and no one was there. I said, “Ok, inspiration, which model should I get?” It said to get the best, so I presumed that meant the 64GB model with WiFi and 3G. There were no boxes sitting out, so I went to hunt for a dream character employee. The store was mostly deserted, so I went to the front of the store and found the guy by the exit. I asked if they had any iPads in stock. He grimaced and said, “Not sure… let me check.”

He uses a small microphone to ask someone else if they have any iPads in stock. Then he looks at me disappointed and says, “He says we only have the 64GB/3G model in stock,” as if no one would ever want that one. I said, “Great! That’s the one I want. Tell him to bring me one, and I’ll meet him at the register.”

I buy it, and I’m extra chatty with the male clerk. I know I’m looking at him strangely because I don’t think he’s a real person separate from me. He’s a character in this dream world. The interaction is so easy and smooth that afterwards I feel like I could have hit on him and gotten his phone number if I wanted to, and that he’d happily give it to me. I’m totally straight, but I think it would have been fun to try. Instead I settle for a $10 discount on the iPad keyboard and another discount on the total order. I didn’t ask for either discount — he just gave them to me. Apparently dream shopping is a little cheaper than regular shopping.

Next I go to Whole Foods. I buy almost all raw food there aside from two cans of organic veggie soup. Overall I buy the foods I believe are healthiest and that I’ll enjoy, knowing that my dream body will simulate the best reactions to those foods.

While I’m in the produce section bagging up some organic apples, an older guy comes up to me and asks me if I work there. When I tell him no, he apologizes and gives me a very strange look. I felt like he was asking me something other than the surface question though, more like, “Are you the guy in charge of this dream?” It did not feel like a normal human interaction the way it played out. I continue my shop with the suspicious feeling that he’s on to me.

As I’m about to leave Whole Foods, I get the impulse to see if they have any vegan pizza slices left in the food service section. I haven’t had dinner yet, and I figure a couple slices would go down nicely. But then I have the inspired thought that I’d love to get a whole pizza to take home with me, so I can have leftovers the next day as well, but I don’t want to wait 20-25 minutes for them to make one since I’m ready to check out and go home. I walk over to that area to take a look, and the guy had just put out a whole fresh vegan pizza with red onion, green and yellow peppers, mushrooms, and black olives. Too perfect — and very strange since the store seemed deserted, and it was only 30 minutes till closing. Did they expect to sell that many slices of vegan pizza in the final 30 minutes on a Friday night? I don’t see how they’d even come close.

I ask the guy if I can have the whole pizza, and he happily consents and boxes it up for me. Nice timing, I think to myself.

I go to the only register that’s still open. The female clerk is gorgeous, friendly, and flirty, and our interaction is fun and playful. Those kinds of interactions aren’t unusual for me, but this one was smoother and more flowing than usual. I felt like I was interacting with a dream character, a projection of my own subconscious, and that changed the nature of the interaction. It’s very hard to describe how it was different, but it just wasn’t the same as before. The interaction was completely frictionless. There was no sense of any expectation, judgment, or concern with what the other person was thinking. Communicating from a place of such emptiness is very simple and easy. It’s just like talking to a character in a lucid dream.

I went home with a feeling that something had shifted. But that was only the beginning.

The pizza was really good too. I made Rachelle envious by eating it while I video-Skyped with her later that night, occasionally offering her a virtual bite. She got me back big time though… by teasingly offering me virtual bites of her. And I know just how delicious she is.

Perfect

All across my reality, people seem different now. It’s as if the world has been injected with happiness. I notice more people laughing, smiling, having fun, and being flirtatious.

If you’re active in the forums, you may have perceived an energetic shift there within the past week or two. I’ve certainly noticed it. The place seems more fun and playful and optimistic than usual. And it’s overflowing with synchronicities too, at least for me.

In terms of online feedback, during this trial I’ve been getting significantly more than usual, but virtually none of it is negative. Where did all the harsh critics go? It’s like they suddenly vanished. The feedback I’m getting now is overwhelmingly loving and supportive and compassionate. Some of it also slides towards the seductive and sexy. Apparently something I’m doing is making certain women find me more attractive and reach out to me with a desire to connect. Can’t say I mind that.

I don’t recall getting any personal insults via email in more than a week. The closest thing to negative feedback was some emails urging caution with this experiment, but I can’t call any of them critical. The messages are more like, “Be careful. I’ve tried what you’re trying, and there are some risks to watch out for. So here are some suggestions…”

Easy Tiger

These social shifts were very rapid, practically overnight. It’s been taking me a while to mentally and emotionally catch up to them.

At first I was really excited about it. I was enthralled by all these positive changes. I was in a place of amazement and wonder. So I began to step on the accelerator, so to speak, trying to push things ahead faster and faster. But as I did that, I lost the flow of inspiration. I was trying to go too fast, being too impatient. I soon felt overwhelmed by the rapidly accumulating consequences of my actions. These consequences were overwhelmingly positive, but they were coming in too hard and fast for me to keep up. I ended up with a backlog of communication that I’m still trying to catch up with.

Then I began to almost panic. For a couple days earlier this week, I felt nervous, anxious, and insecure. Things were shifting so quickly that I was constantly out of my comfort zone. I needed to slow down, be patient, and get back in the flow of inspiration. This isn’t something I should be trying to force.

I slowed down and gradually synched back up again with the flow of inspiration. I took a break from blogging for a few days. I tried to write a new post now and then, but it felt forced and uninspired, so I stopped within minutes. I was getting the signal to slow down and relax and let my mind and emotions catch up.

For much of this week, I’ve been taking it easy. I played with the kids, learned to use my iPad and installed some apps, and tended to some errands like getting an oil change and a car wash. My dream car is nice and clean now.

I also did some tax forms for my business that were due on Monday. It was very easy to do this. I would even say it was inspired, but in a low intensity sort of way.

I found it interesting that the inspiration to get my tax forms done on time still arrived. Even though it’s a dream world, it makes sense to tend to the basics of living within the constraints of the dream storyline so as to avoid creating unwanted dream world consequences. I may be running a dream business, but it still matters to me. It’s part of the story.

Think of it like watching a movie or reading a novel — or better yet, playing an interactive video game. You may know in the back of your mind that it isn’t real, but you can still get sucked in by the plot and feel like you’re right there with the characters. That’s how my life feels. I can pull back and know that I’m dreaming, but I can also allow myself to get sucked into the story.

I took some time to meditate for an hour. That helped me release much of the stress associated with these shifts and to be more accepting of this new reality.

I’m feeling much better today, more peaceful and calm. But I’m still very excited about what’s happening. This is an absolutely amazing adventure. Pacing myself has been a challenge, but I’m getting better at surfing the waves of inspiration without overdoing it. I suspect it may take me a few more weeks to feel good about my calibration though. I’m gradually learning how to surf.

The Sweetest Condition

The biggest shifts by far have been in the area of personal relationships. Things have improved so rapidly in this area that my mind and emotions are still playing catch up. It’s like the kind of reaction you might have if your whole family suddenly died in an accident, a complete derailment of your previous expectations. The intensity of the experience is roughly at that level, but in this case, the changes are extremely positive.

For starters, my relationship with Rachelle has shifted enormously. We’ve gone a lot deeper into our connection with each other, and it’s safe to say that we’re more in love than ever. I’m overflowing with gratitude for her. Even though she’s in Saskatoon right now and still has 3 more weeks on her Canadian tour for her play, we keep in touch by video Skype nearly every day. We connect so deliciously in all four quadrants — body, mind, heart, and spirit. I swear she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.

I can attribute this shift directly to this experiment. It may seem counterintuitive as to why it works, so let me explain that.

I stopped seeing Rachelle as a separate individual, and I began to interact with her as a dream character, a projection of the dreamer’s subconscious. This had the effect of allowing me to release all judgments and expectations of her. I began to see her through different eyes, with a sense of child-like wonder, amazement, and curiosity.

When I communicate with her, I do my best to interpret what she says much like it’s a part of my own subconscious talking to me. It’s impossible for me to disagree with her about anything in that state, so I have to “yes, and” everything she says. After all, it’s coming from me.

When Rachelle raises a concern, I treat it as my own. I look within myself to see why I’m now expressing that concern through the character of Rachelle. By dialoging with her about it, I listen carefully to understand that aspect of myself. Then if I perceive a problem to be solved, I solve it within. And almost magically, Rachelle herself releases that concern and expresses a positive shift. I don’t even have to tell her how I worked it out. She just starts behaving differently.

I’ve done the same with many of my other relationships, and it’s been incredibly healing. I can’t possibly share all of it, as the details would require literally days of typing. But I can say it’s been absolutely magical.

In Sympathy

It starts when I feel the urge to contact someone with whom I feel there’s some unresolved or blocked energy. I notice I keep thinking about certain people, sometimes people with whom I haven’t directly communicated in months. I sense there’s still some kind of karmic connection between us that requires resolution.

I turn within and do my best to identify what that person means to me. This is basic dream interpretation 101. What does the dream character represent? What part of my subconscious is being expressed through him/her? Then I seek to heal my relationship with that part of myself. The primary vehicles for that are acceptance and forgiveness and unconditional love.

So this isn’t about transcending parts of myself. It’s about re-integrating parts of myself that I previously tried to deny, judge, or reject.

When I heal that part of myself, the relationship with the other person automatically improves.

Usually there is some direct contact with the other person as this plays out. As part of this healing process, I typically contact them. Sometimes things are resolved with a few emails; other times it’s a phone call. I could also do it face to face.

This weekend I had a phone call with a friend that lasted for 3 hours. We had previously disconnected on a bad note that turned out to be a misunderstanding. By the end of the call, I felt we had healed the rift, and I think she felt the same. Or to be more accurate, I projected those feelings onto her because I had healed this disconnect with a part of myself. I had to reintegrate what she meant to me.

Sometimes the other person senses me working on our relationship and contacts me, or so it seems. Synchronicities are off the scale right now, let’s just say.

I guess this is almost like going through a 12-step program, but I didn’t make a list of past transgressions to remedy. Instead I’m just noticing what’s arising in the present moment. If my thoughts keep going towards a certain person, I know there’s a karmic connection that needs to be looked at and healed. Then it feels like there’s a powerful release of trapped energy.

I know I’m not done with this process. I can feel more of this work flowing towards me. But it has been incredible and amazing and beautiful thus far. My relationship life has been magically transformed so quickly that it makes my head spin. I am still trying to catch up both mentally and emotionally. It’s hard to keep my own memory in sync with all the shifts.

I think the best way to describe it is that all the friction that got in the way of unconditional love is finally evaporating.

Even if I were to stop now, I’d be stunned at how wonderful this part of my life has become. But I know there’s more to come. It’s hard for me to even fathom where I’ll be in this area of my life at the end of this 30-day trial. I have no doubt that Day 30 will be radically different from Day 1, so much so that it’s going to seem like I’ve gone through some kind of dimensional portal into an alternate universe.

Comatose

But wait, there’s more — a lot more.

Rachelle and I have been, by default, monogamous with each other for the 6+ months we’ve been involved. Well, there was a fun threesome along the way, but other than that, we focused our energy primarily on each other. This actually required some blocking on our part. We both had other opportunities along the way, but we chose not to pursue them. It just seemed inappropriate. We were falling so much in love with each other that it wouldn’t have felt right to introduce other energies. Neither of us wanted to risk derailing what we were creating together. We recognized that something beautiful and magical was unfolding between us, and we wanted to go with the flow of it and soak up that experience as fully as possible.

This has been an amazing journey for us. When we talked last night, we acknowledged that this has been the best year of our lives — filled with adventure, excitement, passion, and wonderful growth experiences.

In the beginning, we were subjected to some judgment about our D/s explorations together, but if that judgment is still there, I no longer perceive it, perhaps because I made peace with that part of myself along the way. D/s play has been an amazing and wonderful part of our connection… and incredibly healing for us both. For me it has been a journey of learning how to receive love and letting go of all the guilt and shame I previously associated with it. I’ve had to work on myself a lot in this area, and I still do.

Imagine being able to command a woman to do whatever you want, whenever you want, and you know that she’ll lovingly obey you and that she’ll also enjoy it immensely. But then notice that you hesitate to do so because you feel guilty and ashamed about it. You can’t bring yourself to ask her for what you want. You don’t feel worthy of that kind of love. It’s too much — too intense — too selfish. So instead, you stay in your comfort zone and ask for less than what you really want. You compromise. What you ask for is lovingly given. But how can you bring yourself to ask for what you really want and feel good about receiving it?

That’s my situation, and healing this part of me is what I personally gain from exploring D/s. Maybe it sounds like a stupid problem to have, and I can understand why people would initially see it as a very shallow pursuit, but for me it has been a very deep and emotional part of my self-development.

I grew up in a home where the words “I love you” were never spoken (or at least I don’t recall hearing them). Hugs didn’t happen except on special occasions, and only with visiting relatives. My physical needs were abundantly satisfied, but as a child, I didn’t feel loved or cared for. The closest thing to love that I felt was when I was praised by my teachers for doing well on school assignments. That’s probably why I became such a good student and had such positive relationships with my teachers.

If I expressed any emotional neediness as a child, such needs were seldom fulfilled. I didn’t know how to get those needs met, so essentially I gave up. I have vague memories of being sensitive, loving, and compassionate as a young child, but by the time I was six years old, I had picked up too many emotional scars… and a physical scar as well from when I was stabbed. That scar on my right arm is still visible today, nearly 35 years later, a perpetual reminder of what remains to be healed within.

After that time, my heart was filled with mostly darkness – anger, hatred, despair, and a deep-seated distrust of others. I wondered why God had made me such a bad person. Why was I always screwing up? Why couldn’t I be good and follow the rules? I’d pray every night that I might somehow summon the strength to always be good, so that I might one day become worthy of love.

I would feel such intense hatred at times, mostly directed towards myself, that I began to grind my teeth, a habit that continued even while I slept. The unconscious nighttime habit stuck well into adulthood, and as a result my molars are nearly flat, with much of their enamel gone.

Years passed, and I eventually forgot that I had a heart at all. I retreated almost completely into my mind.

I learned computer programming at age 10, and the computer became my best friend and loyal companion. I had human friends along the way, but there was little emotional intimacy in those connections. For the most part, I was emotionally alone well into adulthood. I wouldn’t say that anyone really knew me. I didn’t feel I could trust anyone, least of all myself.

I met Erin when I was 22, and she somehow got inside. Perhaps it was her nature to do so. I tried to break up with her shortly after we connected, confessing that I didn’t know how to love. Yet that was the seed that became my own undoing since the reason I wanted to break up with her was that I began to care about her, and I didn’t want to see her hurt. My heart was beginning to break out of its crusty shell.

Through our 15-year relationship, a lot of healing took place. I learned how to express love. Or perhaps I remembered how. Along the way, my life path shifted towards giving and service. I came to genuinely care about people. I liked expressing that part of myself. And my life improved tremendously as a result.

I began to adopt the mindset of a lightworker. I focused on giving, giving, and more giving. I noticed that when I did that, good stuff would always flow back to me. But ultimately, that was only half of the healing process.

I Feel Loved

I didn’t understand what was happening at the time, but I knew that it was time for Erin and me to separate. She had guided me far enough down the path of giving love that it was clear I’d never slip back. I could keep advancing down that path on my own. I understood how important it was.

Erin, however, wasn’t the right person to help me heal the other half of myself, the part that was unable to receive love. It wasn’t her role to perform. I needed a different teacher to help me with that.

As I learned to give more, a lot of good stuff would flow back to me. But it was very difficult for me to receive it. People would thank me and praise me for my help, but I felt uncomfortable with such expressions of appreciation. So I put up blocks and barriers to receiving, mostly unconsciously. I discouraged people from emailing me. I declined invites from people who wanted to meet with me in person. I hid behind a computer much of the time. I implemented a variety of strategies that made it possible for me to give a lot without allowing myself to receive much.

I couldn’t completely stop the flow of receiving though, so I redirected it in other ways, such as growing my business. I reached the point of allowing financial abundance to flow through me, but I couldn’t accept expressions of love and appreciation that were too emotional in nature, nor could I ask for such love. It would have disgusted me to act like I cared about such things — I couldn’t possibly be so emotionally needy.

But little by little, the emotional side began to get through. Sometimes I’d cry after receiving certain pieces of feedback, such as learning that I’d prevented a suicide.

Eventually some part of me triggered a major shift in this area, like a spiritual subroutine that suddenly became active. At first it hit me intuitively, then later on, logically. I began to realize that if I could become happier and more fulfilled, I could do a better job of serving others.

After Erin and I separated last year, I felt a strong intuitive urging to explore D/s with a female partner. Shortly thereafter, Rachelle came into my life. She has been a true gift in that regard, and I am intensely grateful for her.

When I think I’m pushing myself to ask for what I want, she gives of herself lovingly and then encourages me to ask for more. After months of this, I came to realize just how much I’m still holding back. I’ve made a lot of progress, but I know there are still some blocks to work through. I find it very difficult to ask for things that I would love… without feeling any shame or guilt for asking. And so I manifested a dream world in which selfishness is shunned and pleasure is regarded as sin. It’s okay to give to others, but we can’t give too much to ourselves; if we do that, we’re bad people.

Of course Rachelle and I have talked through all of this, but I still find it a challenge.

Rachelle has been the ideal partner for me in this regard. The ways I most want/need to receive love are symmetrically the ways in which she most enjoys expressing love. The more I’m able to open up and ask for what I want, the more she enjoys it too. When I hold back too much, I see my own hesitation reflected through her reactions.

If there are boundaries in our connection, they’re my own. To my best recollection, she has never found it necessary to decline anything I’ve asked her for, and she’s never used our safe word. Whatever I ask for, she lovingly grants.

I feel a bit foolish to have such a problem. After all, what kind of guy would hold back in a situation such as mine? And yet, it’s a huge challenge for me nonetheless. It’s hard enough for me to come to terms with all the love she’s poured onto me already, let alone to seek further expansion of it.

Freelove

But wait… there’s more. It gets better.

As I applied the subjective perspective to my relationship with Rachelle, and to myself as well, I finally began seeing the big picture. Up to this point, I didn’t identify my challenges with D/s as a problem with receiving love. I knew there were some internal shifts happening, but I didn’t quite understand them.

Now I can see what’s really been happening, so I can work with the process more consciously.

I can’t share all the details without typing for many more hours (and my wrists are beginning to get sore as it is), but the short version is that after much discussion, Rachelle and I decided to open our relationship and explore polyamory together.

We both knew we’d eventually turn this corner, and the time just seemed right. Energetically we’re still processing what this means to us, but we’ve already taken steps to move forward, and at this point, there’s sufficient momentum to carry us through to getting involved with other partners. That is already unfolding.

Yes, I’m being intentionally vague about it. It feels premature to share more details, especially since exploring polyamory by definition involves other people… or other dream projections, depending on your perspective.

I can say that something very interesting began to happen when we made this shift. A number of women began opening themselves to one or both of us, either suggestively hinting or outright stating they’d like to explore D/s with us… or try a threesome… or explore some kind of similar sharing of love and connection with us… or potentially get involved long-term. There was such a surge in a short period of time that we couldn’t help but notice.

But yet, we hadn’t gone public about it yet. Somehow those people must have picked up on the shift we were going through, and they felt safe enough to let us know of their interest. Of course that makes perfect sense in a dream world.

We’re entering into this part of our journey together very consciously and with a lot of communication. We check in with each other each day, often multiple times per day, and go deeper into our thoughts and feelings about it. At first we each had to work through some blocks and strong emotions, even though we knew it was what we wanted to experience. Now we seem to have reached a point of acceptance and also excitement about the idea. There’s such a strong bond of love and trust between us that we feel we can make this work. We want to be able to open up more and share the tremendous love we have between us with others.

This isn’t primarily about sex, although we each want that to be a part of our exploration together. The primary intentions are to increase our alignment with Oneness, to open our hearts even more, and to shed all negative associations to sharing love openly, including shame, guilt, fear, jealousy, envy, and attachment. Sex is a yummy icing on the cake, but in truth it’s one of many healing modalities, albeit a potent one.

I Am You

Previously my favorite analogy for explaining the principle of Oneness was the cells-in-the-body model. We’re all cells in the larger body of humanity. We have both an individual identity and a collective one. The health of the body and the health of the cells are one.

This was a powerful analogy, and it helped me make great strides forward in this part of my life. I was able to open up and connect socially with much greater ease and comfort when I recognized that other people were cells in the same body as me.

I’ve been sharing this analogy for years — in my blog, in my book, and at CGW.

But now I’m letting that analogy go because I’ve found a much more powerful replacement to help me align with Oneness.

That new analogy is that we’re all projections of the same dreamer in a dream world.

With this analogy there’s no longer a cell wall between us. There’s no separation at all. We aren’t just individual parts of the same whole — we’re different windows into the same being.

Now when I see another person, I don’t think that we’re two cells in the same body. I see us as different viewports into the same being. In fact, we are the same being. You are me, and I am you.

At one point instead of saying “I love you,” Rachelle and I said to each other, “I am you.” That had a whole different feel to it energetically. It felt like our connection suddenly went much deeper.

I realized that Rachelle and I aren’t two separate individual beings. We’re in fact the same singular being, the same consciousness. Separation is a complete illusion. We are two different images of the same thing.

And the same goes for everyone else.

I’ve been walking around for days in a daze, seeing myself in everyone and everything. It’s so obvious that I can scarcely believe I didn’t notice it before.

All love is self-love. All conflict is inner conflict.

The experience of Oneness within and harmonious relationships without are the same pursuit.

Dream On

I can no longer accept the premise of objective reality. I’ve gone too far down this rabbit hole and encountered too many amazing rabbits to expect that I’ll ever surface topside again. I’m now virtually certain that reality is in fact a dream world. If there’s a better analogy for the true nature of this existence, I haven’t come across one yet.

I say “virtually certain” because I still have some doubts and fears to work through. But one by one, they appear to be collapsing in a cascading fashion. I think their days are numbered and that it’s only a matter of time before I shed them all.

So many things that confused me before have now become clear.

Take quantum mechanics for instance. This is a real brain-pretzelizer from an objective standpoint. Why would consciousness affect physical matter? But if this is a dream world, then the existence of quantum mechanics is a rather obvious projection of the underlying nature of the dream. Quantum physical events don’t get resolved until they’re observed because the dreamer has to perceive them in order to resolve them, in order to give them form and substance. If the dreamer doesn’t perceive something, then the dream mind doesn’t bother to resolve it. This is precisely the behavior you’d expect from a dream.

This simulated reality only manifests what we can perceive. Until the dreamer perceives something, that something is stuck in non-created limbo. It would make no sense for the simulation to generate something that would never be perceived. Hence this dream reality, should you attempt to study it through an objective lens, must reflect something back to you that is for all intents and purposes what we’ve identified as quantum mechanics.

Quantum mechanics is nothing but a fancy label for dream world physics. In fact, all of science is the study of the inner workings of the dream world.

What about the Law of Attraction? This too is a side effect of being in a dream world. When you hook yourself into dreamer-level consciousness, you gain some ability to alter the dream by planting suggestions within the subconscious of the dreamer. The dream world then shifts accordingly. And of course the dream world must be consistent with your beliefs. So thoughts and beliefs of financial scarcity will manifest scarcity, and thoughts of abundance will manifest abundance, just as you’d expect in accordance with the Law of Attraction.

Perhaps a more accurate name for the LoA would be the Law of Subconscious Suggestion. The dream world manifests the most powerful suggestions that you plant within the subconscious of the dreamer. By accessing the dream program, you can reprogram the dream. The more self-aware you are — i.e. the more lucid you become — the greater your ability to apply this ability. But the more asleep you are — i.e. the more you succumb to the false belief that you’re in an objective world — the more you must live out your days as an NPC, unable to reprogram the dream.

What about psychic abilities? That makes sense from a dream perspective too. It suggests, however, that there may be some inherent limits to psychic abilities. In a dream world, your psychic abilities are limited by your beliefs. If you don’t subconsciously believe you can do it, you probably can’t manifest it.

All psychic readings are actually self readings. Top psychics can pick up seemingly astounding info about people they’ve never met because the underlying truth is that they are in fact the same being they’re reading for, so the psychic is simply reading his/her own subconscious, and the client is nothing but a projection and doesn’t exist as a separate individual anyway. Consequently, a psychic should be able to create a powerful boost in their abilities by recognizing the fact that they’re always reading themselves and that there really is no client “out there.”

A psychic’s ability to predict the future of some aspect of the dream is limited to the psychic’s degree of lucidity. You aren’t really predicting anything because dreams are largely unpredictable. But you can implant suggestions into the dreamer’s subconscious. So psychic prediction is really subconscious creation, i.e. self-fulfilling prophecy.

In a dream world, everything is a projection of the subconscious of the dreamer. Consequently, the dream world is absolutely overflowing with clues that you’re dreaming right now. You just can’t see them until you look for them. Such is the nature of being asleep.

Try this. Look up the lyrics to any of your favorite songs, or go play a song or two, and listen to the words.

As you hear the words, imagine that you’re dreaming right now and that the song is a message from your own subconscious. You will see that the song’s lyrics are trying to reveal to you that you’re dreaming right now. Notice the real meaning behind the song’s metaphors.

Many songs are about reintegration. Love the different parts of yourself. Stop all violence and conflict. You’re only fighting with yourself.

Some songs point out that you’re asleep and in denial about it. Even a song with seemingly crazy lyrics will begin to make sense if you regard it as communication from your own dream world. What are the last echoing words of Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” for instance? “A Denial!” And what’s the meaning of the line, “With the lights out, it’s less dangerous”? It’s telling you that you’re afraid to wake up. What would it mean to turn on the lights?

Don’t believe me? Go see for yourself. Try it with any song that inspires you. The reason a song moves you emotionally is that it’s causing the dreamer within to resonate with a deeper level truth.

You can do the same thing with any TV show or movie that you find inspiring to watch. Did you like The Matrix just a little too much? Any idea why? Because you’re in one right now.

Shine

Being in a dream world has some powerful implications. I’ve found that my ability to create my reality has increased massively these past 12 days. My focus has largely been on healing and expanding the relationship part of my life, and that makes perfect sense to me. The most exciting element of such an immersive and persistent dream, at least for me, is the experience of interacting with the other dream characters. The more love and harmony I can create with those characters, the better the dream becomes.

I’m currently excited but also trepidatious about what this might mean. As I have some skill with nighttime lucid dreaming, I’m beginning to wonder if I can bring those abilities to bear in this dream world too. Part of me wants to dive into that, but another part of me knows I should learn to walk in this dream world before trying to fly.

Nevertheless, I did a small test this afternoon, trying to move a pen across the counter with my mind. I tried for about a minute. The pen didn’t budge. However, during those 60 seconds, I noticed all sorts of thoughts and feelings arising within me. There was fear and paranoia over what might happen if the pen actually moved. I felt a ripping sensation as a terrified part of myself began to surface. I sensed that if that pen actually moved, I wouldn’t be able to handle it. It would mean the end of my life as I know it.

It was obvious that I’m not ready to see that pen move. Part of me won’t allow us to go there yet. It would be too terrifying if it actually happened.

But another part of me knows that the pen is eventually going to move. However, I have a lot more growth ahead of me before I’m ready to see that.

In the meantime, I’ll continue to deal with the challenges and growth experiences that are right in front of me as I follow the flow of inspiration moment by moment. Those lessons have to do with relationships, giving and receiving unconditional love, and releasing some shame and guilt.

You can call me crazy for going this far down the rabbit hole, but it won’t stop me from moving forward. I’d simply interpret you as a projection of my own fear and doubt, which I acknowledge are still present within me. As you raise your voice in protest, I’ll accept your objections as if they’re my own, and I’ll forgive myself for those delusions and re-integrate those skeptical parts of myself, honoring them for their commitment to keeping me safe and protected.

You are beautiful and amazing, my favorite figment.

Uncopyrighted by Steve Pavlina

Some people mentioned that I seem to be doing two overlapping trials here. First, I’m doing 30 days of acting promptly on inspiration whenever it strikes. Second, I’m also delving more deeply into the subjective reality frame. So what’s that all about?

I honestly don’t know, but I’ll try to make sense of it as I write.

Could I separate these two trials? On the surface it sure seems like I could. My initial idea for this trial was just going to be the inspiration part. I wasn’t planning to do a subjective reality trial. But these two aspects got tied together in a strange way, and now they’re inextricably intertwined. I can no longer separate them out.

Planning vs. Inspiration

The subjective reality aspect actually started first. This goes back to Sunday, July 18th, the final day of the July Conscious Growth Workshop. The final segment on spirituality was from 2pm to 4pm. Dana, a local friend and one of our CGW staff, asked me during lunch what I was going to talk about during that final segment. I said, “I have no idea.” He laughed. I repeated, “No, really. I honestly don’t know.”

For each CGW I’ve always gone in well-prepared. I live and breathe the topics I talk about, so I could seriously do the entire workshop off the cuff if I had to, and I’m sure it would still turn out well. But my mental side always likes to plan everything out, so I can know in advance how everything will fit together. I also like to create a good balance of different teaching modalities, including lecture, demonstration, interactive exercises, games, fieldwork, one-on-one sharing, group work, written exercises, Q&A, and more. Good planning is important for pacing too, so I don’t spend too much or too little time on any particular segment.

That said, I’ve noticed that as I was delivering this past CGW, I was breaking from my plan a lot. For most segments I felt inspired in the moment to do things differently than what I’d originally planned. I’d change up the order of certain elements, tell different stories than I expected to, and swap in different exercises. And overall it worked really well when I went with the inspiration of the moment.

I’m comfortable in front of an audience, so I don’t have to deal with nervousness or anything like that. I’m fine being in the moment, and I trust that I can speak well off the cuff, even for hours at a time. But I know that people come from far and wide to attend CGW, and I want to deliver the best value I can. I’d find it dishonorable to go into a CGW not feeling well-prepared with a solid plan for each segment. When I do a CGW, I commit to doing my best.

I always assumed that careful planning and structure were necessary for me to deliver my best and for attendees to receive good value. Now I’m not so sure. I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve reached the point where I may be able to deliver an even better experience if I set that plan aside and allow myself to be fully in the moment and go with the flow of inspiration.

Can I Trust Inspiration When the Stakes Are High?

This last CGW experience was beginning to challenge my notions of the best way to deliver value. Do I truly deliver more value when everything is pre-planned, or am I somehow able to do an even better job when I’m just being there in the moment, and I don’t know what I’ll say in advance?

Well, at the end of that Saturday (Day 2 of CGW), I went home to plan out the final two hours of the workshop. I had delayed planning this part of the workshop because I wanted to see how this particular audience handled the first two days. I’d made a lot of changes for this CGW, and there were good reasons why it made sense to apply just-in-time planning for the final closing segment. I’d already delivered this segment three times before at previous workshops, so I had old templates I could have fallen back on, and I also figured it would only take about an hour to make the plan.

That night, however, I couldn’t seem to bring myself to create the plan. I wrote something out that seemed reasonable, but it felt hollow to me… heartless. I didn’t understand why my intuition said, “This is stupid.”

As I tuned into my intuition for more guidance, the message was loud and clear. Let go and forget the plan. Just get up and speak your truth. It’s already inside you. You don’t need a plan. It will only hold you back and cause you to get stuck in your head.

So I left the plan behind and decided I was ready to allow inspiration to flow through me when I delivered that final segment.

The morning segment that Sunday had already been planned out, but I broke from the plan a lot. The resulting mixture was probably 70% inspiration of the moment and 30% pre-planned. And it seemed to go really well. I noticed that my energy was shifting to a different place the more I was able to let go. More passion and enthusiasm — and fun — were flowing through me.

I normally have a handout for each day of CGW, but for this final day I decided not to use one. That wasn’t due to laziness. The Day 3 handout was already designed since I’d used it for previous CGWs. But I felt we’d be better off without the written exercises that day, so we could do more interactive exercises and fieldwork that morning instead. I thought that worked well. Some people actually liked the fact that there were no written exercises that day.

As we got closer to the afternoon segment, I had enough evidence to believe it would work out okay. I could say that I had to push myself with a bit of courage here, but it didn’t play out that way. I was at peace with the decision.

The workshop had been going so well up to that point that I felt that even if I semi-flubbed that final segment, people had already received so much value, so I felt I had enough social capital to take a small risk without it being a big deal either way. I also believed that I could share plenty of insights and ideas without a structured plan, so I really wasn’t worried about screwing up. I felt competent and confident to do this segment without a plan.

My main concern was that I’d open too many threads, and I’d have a hard time wrapping everything up on time. How was I going to pace myself? I felt it was okay to let go and trust in that area as well. If I opened a loop that I wasn’t able to close, I could always blog about it later.

Speaking from Inspiration

When I got up to speak, I didn’t even know what the first words out of my mouth would be. But the words were there. I ended up talking mainly about the question, “What is the true nature of this reality?” That led into a discussion of subjective reality vs. objective reality.

I shared the details and results of some experiments I’d already done, going back to 2006. We didn’t do any special exercises, but the segment became very interactive. Lots of people asked questions and shared their own stories, and instead of holding Q&A till the end, I integrated all of that on the fly. It was like a dance where neither partner is trying to lead, but somehow they still synchronize their movements.

The segment didn’t feel like a presentation. It was more like a conversation, almost like I was talking to myself.

Would you pre-plan a conversation? Would that even make sense?

I felt like I was listening a lot more. I was tuned in to what people in the audience were thinking and feeling. As I spoke, I was mainly addressing the energy I perceived in the room. I was constantly looking for eddies in the audience’s energy and seeking to smooth them out. If I sensed confusion, I simplified by offering up analogies people were already familiar with. If I sensed mental overwhelm, I shifted into story-telling mode. If I sensed curiosity, I shifted to Q&A. If I sense the pressure build-up of people wanting to say something, I invited them to share their experiences. If I sensed eagerness to hear more, I went back to exposition. These are the things we naturally do when we’re engaged in a compelling one-on-one conversation.

The flow of that segment was very different from the previous times I’ve done it. So was the content. I felt that the audience was really with me. People were much more present — leaning forward, nodding in reaction to certain segments, asking questions, sharing their own insights.

I loved every minute of it. It was such a wonderful experience to be fully present and to enjoy such a cool dialog with like-minded people. Of course we’re like-minded since we’re all projections of the same mind!

I didn’t seem to be sharing answers or advice or solutions, not really. Mostly I was sharing questions, observations, experiments, and stories. It was like having a conversation with myself. Even as I spoke about subjective reality, I began to slip into a subjective mindset.

If you want to have a really strange experience, try believing that you’re actually dreaming while you’re speaking in front of a live audience.

Subjective Blogging

This is the same manner in which I’ve been blogging this past week. I’m sharing my observations as a fellow explorer, not as a teacher with answers to share. But perhaps that’s the best form of teaching anyway — to explore and share along the way. That’s what got me started with blogging in the first place, and it’s why my website’s URL is my own name instead of something more generic.

This website is a chronicle of my personal journey. My best writing comes through when I’m writing for myself, fully living my life and using blogging to deepen my understanding along the way. I feel that, and others notice it too.

What really fascinates me is that I’ve been getting tons of positive feedback about my blogging this week. It’s a major brain-pretzelizer to try to understand why subjective blogging generates more positive objective feedback than objective blogging does. Why the heck do you like it better when I blog just for myself and not for you?

Perhaps it’s because the idea that you and I are separate is truly a delusion.

When I blog for myself, I am in fact blogging for you because we’re the same self. When I try to blog for you as a separate person (or group of people), then I’m actually splintering myself, and my writing reflects that.

I wonder if your experience of reading my articles is the same. When I blog for myself, do you feel like you’re reading your own thoughts and feelings? When I blog objectively, do you feel more distanced from me, like we’re just not on the same wavelength? Do you feel closer and more connected with me now than you did a month ago?

If subjective reality is false, then why does it generate results that are objectively better than an objective mindset? In 2006 I increased my financial results dramatically through subjective experimentation, and I’ve always enjoyed an abundant flow in that area ever since. Now I’m seeing huge positive shifts in my relationships too, results that are way beyond what I was able to achieve with an objective lens.

If subjective reality is bunk, then I’d expect a decline in my results. But I’m seeing the opposite. That gives me good cause to go further down this path, since I’m seeing more and more evidence that subjective reality is the more accurate lens of the two.

When you realize that you’re dreaming, you have much more power to change the dream vs. when you’re unaware (or in denial) that you’re dreaming.

You can’t launch a satellite into orbit if you believe the earth is flat.

Perhaps we’re both projections of the same consciousness after all. Perhaps you’re also awakening to the possibility — no, the likelihood — that this is a dream world. This dream world blog you’re reading is reflecting back to you your own shifts in consciousness.

As you awaken to the notion that you’re really dreaming, this blog is manifesting those shifts. I’m here to reflect back to you the truth that yes, you are indeed dreaming, and I’m a projection within your dream world. In the weeks ahead, many of your own thoughts and feelings are going to show up here in written form, in such synchronous ways that it will be harder and harder for you to deny what’s happening. You’ll be pushed further down the rabbit hole. But you’re ready to take that leap, aren’t you? It will take courage to leave your objective comfort zone, but by now you’ve already concluded that the old path is a dead end. You can’t go back. You can only press on.

Silly Rabbit

After that CGW, I began feeling it was time to go deeper down that rabbit hole myself. I almost couldn’t help it. After speaking about it for nearly two hours, my mind was already shifting into subjective mode.

One thing I really like about CGW is that it’s such a flexible workshop, so as I learn and grow, the workshop and how I present it can continue to evolve. The core principles of Truth, Love, and Power all make sense whether you view them through the objective lens or the subjective one. For example, we can talk about objective Truth (science) or subjective Truth (awareness). We can talk about love objectively (relationships and social support) or subjectively (joy and sorrow). We can talk about power objectively (cause and effect) or subjectively (intention and manifestation).

I think it would be an amazing experience to deliver CGW #5 in October from the subjective frame. Just thinking about that excites me and freaks me out at the same time. What the heck would it be like to deliver a 3-day workshop while believing I’m actually in a dream world the entire time? That would mean I’m actually doing an entirely internal workshop, talking to various parts of myself and seeking to elevate, expand, and integrate them into a more complete whole.

It’s still 3 months away, but this does feel like an inspired idea to me. If people like my subjective blogging better, would they also prefer a subjective workshop?

On one level, I regard this sort of thing as risky. What if it just turns out to be too strange for people? What if I don’t seem to be delivering enough value? What if people get upset with me because I don’t deliver the kind of experience they expected?

On another level, what if it works? What if it delivers more value than I previously thought possible? What if it creates a much deeper level of connection and raises the energy of the room to higher highs? What if it leads me into a whole new experience of communicating? And what if every CGW afterwards benefits from this?

What does value even mean in a subjective dream world? I can only be delivering value within myself. In that regard, value equals healing and re-integration.

I think these risks are manageable, even in an objective sense. For starters, not many people have signed up for CGW #5 yet because it’s still 3 months away. I think we’re at 8 registrations so far, which is actually really good to see this far in advance. If any of those people think CGW #5 may turn out to be too strange after reading these recent blog posts, I’m happy to offer them a refund. However, one of those people already shared with me how excited she is about this new direction, so that’s a good sign.

Objectively speaking, I have a solid structure for CGW already worked out, as it has evolved over the previous three workshops. So I know I always have that game plan to fall back on if I feel it’s wise to do so. I don’t have to take the risk of going into a 3-day workshop with no plan at all. I can actually play it safe in this case since the fallback plan is already there.

I’m pretty good at gauging the audience’s experience, so if I start out delivering CGW #5 this way, and I see that by the morning break on Day 1, it isn’t quite working, I can always back off and switch modes. It’s a 3-day workshop, and there’s plenty of room to experiment without risking a serious degradation in the overall experience and the value people receive from it.

I can solicit advanced feedback as well. So if you like this idea — if some aspect of it resonates with you and makes you more likely to attend CGW #5 — please tell me. If you don’t like it and you feel it would make you less likely to attend CGW #5, please let me know that too. If there’s a lot of support for this idea, I may update the CGW page to reflect that.

If I’m really honest with myself, I have to admit to myself (and to you — what’s the difference anyway?) that deep down, I already know that this is the path I must take. But some part of me fears it, and so I project those fears onto you. I assume that you probably won’t like it, or you’ll think it’s crazy. At least that’s what I tell myself, so I can reject the idea in advance. After all, I have to give you what you want, and if you don’t want this, then who am I to argue with you? But I haven’t even asked you yet, so how can I really know? And what if the answer comes back that you’d really love to experience such a thing? And what if we do it that way and it works amazingly well? Will we ever be able to come back out of the rabbit hole again? Will we lose ourselves in that world for good?

Will we finally swallow the red pill instead of just tucking it away in our cheek?

The Connection Between Inspiration and Subjective Reality

My inspiration trial is entangled with subjective reality because they both hit me at the same time. By following my inspiration at the previous CGW, at the point where I finally let go, I was inspired to talk about subjective reality. Then as I moved forward with a subjective perspective for the next few days, I began to receive an even greater flow of inspired ideas. I started seeing inspiration itself as a form of communication with the true dreamer of this world.

That led to some intense curiosity, and by the middle of that week, I began thinking about doing a 30-day trial of acting on inspiration 24/7. I couldn’t escape the subjective lens though. By that time I was becoming too immersed in it.

I don’t fully understand the link between subjective reality and inspiration, but I can see and feel that there’s definitely a connection, and it isn’t a trivial one.

The more I act on inspiration, the more it’s shifting me to view reality subjectively. These inspired actions and their consequences make a lot more sense to me when viewed through the subjective lens. I can’t objectively explain where these inspirations are coming from. But subjectively something quite beautiful and amazing is unfolding. The dreamer and the dream world are becoming one.

Likewise, the more I shift into the subjective reality mindset, the easier it is for me to receive and act on inspiration without hesitation. If I were on the objective side, I’d be too worried about the consequences. It would be much harder to let go and trust the flow of what’s happening. But if I know this is a dream world, I’m less freaked out by the strangeness of it all. If this is a dream, then anything is possible.

If I know that reality is a dream, I’m inclined to give more weight to certain aspects of the dream world. For example, I consider the inhabitants of the world and my relationships with them to be of greater importance because they all represent parts of me. Interacting with the characters of this world becomes utterly wondrous and fascinating because it’s like I’m delving deeper into the contents of my own subconscious. I’m deeply invested in creating positive, loving relationships with the other characters in this dream world because to me, it is all self-love and inner harmony. If I see conflict anywhere, I’m motivated to gush love all over it to resolve it, since otherwise I’m neglecting an internal conflict within my own being, and it can’t be healthy to let that fester.

Consequently, I’ve been spending a great deal of time on communication. Whenever a problem or conflict arises, I do my best to act immediately. I can’t ignore it and hope someone else will handle it. If I’m the dreamer, then I must be 100% responsible for it. Everything I see in the world… is me.

My role then becomes that of a healer. By healing damaged relationships within the dream world, I’m healing myself. I’m becoming whole again.

This is a huge shift in thinking, and very quickly I developed a backlog of relationships that I feel need to be cleansed and healed with love and forgiveness. I’m tending to them as best I can. I may not be able to heal everything overnight, but the progress within just this past week has been stunning.

Money and possessions, on the other hand, become almost inconsequential. What does it mean to own something in a dream? You can still acquire dream stuff if you want, and most dream characters will respect your claims to dream property, but it’s still a bit silly to think of dream objects as something you can own. Even if you buy something with dream money, is it really yours? It’s just a dream object you associate with your avatar’s dream inventory.

You can just as easily enjoy the physical aspects of the dream world without having to own any of it. You can use up your dream money or spend it too fast I suppose, but it can’t be all that hard to replenish it either.

When you view reality through the subjective lens, your focus shifts a great deal, especially with regard to what you define as important.

If your life isn’t quite working, if you aren’t happy or if you aren’t getting the results you desire, could it be that you’re focusing on the wrong things? Could it be that the objective lens has led you astray? Are you still asleep, unaware or unwilling to accept that you’re dreaming?

What would your life be like if you did your own 30-day trial of inspired, subjective living? Is that part of your path with a heart?

At present I’m feeling more inspired than ever. And I’m also viewing reality as a subjective experience more than ever. That cannot be a coincidence.

You’re feeling more inspired too, aren’t you?

Uncopyrighted by Steve Pavlina

For example, suppose you make major progress in improving your diet. Maybe you go vegetarian or vegan or raw. Or perhaps you find another path that generates positive results for you. And suppose most of your family and friends still eat something close to the Standard American Diet (SAD), with lots of animal products and processed foods. Your way of eating falls out of sync with theirs, and everyone can’t help but notice. Now you’re in the minority — you no longer quite fit in.

Or suppose you decide to give up alcohol, and most of your friends are still social drinkers. Maybe they invite you to go out and drink with them, but this is a lifestyle element you’ve shed. Perhaps you’ve outgrown the desire to consume toxic substances because you’ve learned that being super healthy allows you to access much more vibrant states of being, but your social circle hasn’t yet made the journey you have.

Or maybe you’ve worked a lot on your attitude, and you’ve fallen in love with talking about your dreams, goals, opportunities, and positive ideas. Meanwhile other people in your life still insist on complaining about what they don’t like, and they want you to participate in their pity parties.

Or possibly you’ve had some kind of spiritual awakening. Maybe you’ve gained a new level of clarity about your life purpose, but no one around you can grasp what you’re going through. Often it seems like they don’t care to hear about it, and you lose interest in wanting to explain it to them, yet you still wish they could understand — and share — in the new joys you’re experiencing.

Or maybe you’ve had a relationship breakthrough. You’ve discovered a whole new way of relating to people — with love — and it creates very positive results for you. You see your friends and family suffering in disempowered relationships (more like shells of relationships), and it breaks your heart to watch them suffer needlessly in apathy and confusion. You very much want to help them achieve greater happiness, but if you reach out to them, they resist your help and defend their decisions.

Disconnection

In such situations you’re going to experience a disconnect — a disconnect between your new self and your preexisting life situation. You’ll notice that you’re no longer vibing with certain people, places, and circumstances anymore. Maybe at one point you got along great, but now something feels off. At first it may be this nagging sense of discomfort, but over time it can grow into a massive chasm of disconnection. You feel like you’ve drifted away from your old life, and you don’t know how to recreate the feelings of belongingness you once took for granted.

Initially there’s a certain sadness when this happens — a feeling of loss. In a way, it’s sad to see yourself drifting away from people you care about, especially if you’ve enjoyed a lot of closeness and camaraderie with them over the years. But you can’t deny the disconnect. It’s there, and it’s real. If you try to pretend that everything is “normal,” it just makes you feel empty inside.

In your mind you may try to rekindle the old feelings of closeness. You may dwell on remembering the good times — when you felt really connected and close — and try to recreate them. But your attempts meet with failure, and you always end up disappointed in the end. You might even feel a bit disgusted with yourself afterwards.

You may also try to distract yourself from the mounting feelings of emptiness. You may find yourself more prone to procrastination. Perhaps you’ll catch yourself spending inordinate amounts of time web surfing, checking email, watching TV, or playing video games. The pattern will be that you’re desperately trying to recreate a feeling of connection in your life. You’re trying to re-ground yourself. Even answering emails can give you that feeling, but it’s only temporary. When you aren’t obsessively checking back in, the emptiness returns. You may find it difficult to feel grounded while alone without this clawing feeling that you need to reconnect with someone or something… just to feel that sense of belongingness again.

Partly you may be disappointed in the other people in your life. You may feel disappointed that you’re on this incredible path of growth, but they’re declining to join you. You want so much for them to come along and share in this wonderful journey with the same level of enthusiasm that you have, but it just isn’t happening. The more you talk about how great things are, the more they resist you, and the more disconnected you feel.

Futility

At this point most people go through a period of clinginess. They try to keep one foot in both worlds. On one side they pursue their own amazing path of conscious growth. And on the other side, they cling to their old family and friends. So they try to keep one foot on the accelerator and the other foot on the brake.

Unfortunately this pattern ultimately leads to stagnation and a feeling of pervasive inner emptiness. This is where people feel like they should be happy — because they are indeed learning and growing — but when they take a good look inside, they have to admit they aren’t really, truly happy. Something is missing. The desired feelings of joy, bliss, and centeredness simply aren’t there consistently. In their place are feelings like dread, boredom, disenchantment, and quite often… addiction.

This is the period where someone who’s a vegan clings to sharing meals with meat-eating family members who neither respect nor understand the vegan diet. It’s a time when positive, goal-oriented people still hang out with stagnant, low awareness friends simply because it’s what they’ve always done. It’s a time when a person clings to a dying relationship, hoping against hope that his/her partner will eventually grow into someone else.

The problem of trying to keep one foot in both worlds is that it inevitably degrades one’s self esteem. It leaves you feeling empty, alone, and misunderstood. The people you cling to don’t really know you anymore. They may have known you quite well in the past, but they don’t understand the person you’ve become on the inside. You’ve changed, and they can’t keep up. And consequently, the way they relate to you is at odds with the new self image you’re struggling to step into. The more you connect with them, the more their communication makes you feel diminished. You feel less than whole in their presence.

Asking for Help

This Dark Night of the Soul period may continue for years. In fact, people rarely get through it on their own. Without outside help most of the time they’ll continue to remain stuck, repeating the same patterns over and over and feeling increasingly disconnected. For some people this feeling of disconnection becomes so great that they contemplate — perhaps even commit — suicide.

If you find yourself in such a situation, let me tell you that it’s not your fault. It’s not a matter of self-discipline or courage to push through it… not really. Those factors play a role, but it isn’t a question of willpower. As an individual you most likely aren’t strong enough to complete this transition process on your own. You need help to get through it. Fortunately such help is available.

One of the best intentions you can hold during this time is to request help. Simply hold that intention in your heart. Instead of dwelling on the relationships that aren’t working, focus on the person you’re becoming — the person you most want to be. Then hold yourself in the place of requesting guidance to take the next step. Remain open to that guidance appearing in your life.

When you’re ready, guidance will come to you, but the form may not be what you expect. It may show up as a new mentor or friend. You may happen upon an article or blog post that’s just what you needed to read at the exact time you needed to read it. Maybe you get multiple synchronicities about a certain book. Whatever shows up in your life at this time, follow it. You will know it by how you feel. Your feelings will tend towards curiosity and enthusiasm and wonder. If you wonder if you should follow a particular new lead, that sense of wonder is reason enough to do so.

When I go through this process, guidance often comes to me in the form of a person. Someone shows up in my life, and in that moment, I recognize that they have something to teach me. I feel drawn to spend more time with this person and to learn from them. I may have thoughts like, This person is amazing. I need to spend more time with him/her. And when we’re together, the time just flies on by.

It’s good to have some humility during this time. Openness is key. Be open to receiving new information. You do not have all the answers yet, but if you remain open, the answers you seek will soon come to you.

Know that help is coming. The guidance you seek is on its way. Know that you deserve help and that you’re worthy of it. The transition you’re making is a good one. You don’t have to go it alone, but you must say yes to it. Guidance cannot come into your life until you issue that internal yes. Life cannot override your free will. You must decide that you’re ready to complete the transition.

Welcoming Your New Vibration

Once the guidance begins to flow, and you follow it, eventually a whole new world opens up to you. It really does feel like that. It is a wondrous experience when this happens. Within a matter of days, your eyes are opened to wonders you never knew existed. Elements from your dreams begin to manifest in your real life. The experience may leave you breathless for a time. You may exclaim, “How is this even possible?” Life takes on a magical quality. Synchronicities are everywhere. The universe practically blasts you with clues that scream, Yes, you’re on the right path. Keep going!

This is the period where you undergo a quantum leap from one vibrational state to the next state in your evolution as a spiritual human being. You may go through quite a bit of emotional upheaval during this time. It may feel like your world is coming apart at the seams.

You’re finally letting go and allowing the disconnect with your old vibration to complete. Once you finally let go of the old, the gravity of your new vibration pulls you in. You don’t really have to do much. The process largely happens automatically. However, depending on your freakout factor during this time, you can still apply the brakes and slow the process down, such that it plays out at a pacing you can handle.

Your job (to the extent that you must exert any form of effort here) is to allow yourself to welcome the new frequencies of being that are coming into your life with as little resistance as possible. When these new frequencies show up, say yes to them. And by extension, begin actively saying no to the old frequencies, such as by declining invites from people you no longer resonate with.

Finding Your Tribe

As part of this process, you will soon find your tribe. Empowering new relationships will come into your life, possibly at such a rapid pace that it will stun you. One week your social life may become black-and-white completely different than the week before. This will be a very positive change.

As you find your tribe and begin to enjoy an unimaginable new circle of social support, your self esteem will rise a great deal. Instead of being surrounded by people who bring you down, you’ll come into contact with people who uplift and inspire you. You may even feel a little intimidated by some of the new people coming into your life because they may seem very advanced to you. You might even feel inclined to ask, Where have you wonderful people been all my life? The truth is that such people couldn’t come into your life until you were ready for them.

For example, if you’ve been improving your diet, then finding your tribe may take the form of meeting new people who are on a similar path, including some that are much further along than you and from whom you can potentially learn a great deal. You’ll meet people that feel perfectly grounded in such a lifestyle, even as you’re still getting used to it.

As your self esteem rises, it will be much harder for people to drag you down to the old frequencies you’ve left behind. You may look back and wonder how you ever could have stomached being there. You’ll cease to tolerate connections in your life that disempower you. The new, more empowering connections will feel too good by comparison, and the contrast will be undeniable.

This is one of the reasons our Conscious Growth Workshops have been so empowering for attendees. Several people have posted feedback stating that being able to hang out with so many growth-oriented people is the best part of the experience. In fact, we have a group of people planning to come to Las Vegas overlapping the dates of the May 14-16 workshop just so they can be around that energy again. It can indeed be a very powerful experience for people who are ready for it. Whether your personal experience of finding your tribe manifests through a workshop or through some other means, you will eventually get there when you’re ready for it. But you do at some point need to say yes to this kind of experience; otherwise you’ll repel it and stay stuck.

Life takes on a very different quality once you find your tribe. Your self esteem goes up, and there’s a pervasive feeling of optimism. It’s like being in love all the time. Life is beautiful. The flowers are blooming, and the birds are singing. You still have problems and challenges, but you feel more than capable of handling them. Exciting new opportunities surround you. You’re bathed in support and encouragement from people who care about you.

After the Shift

Once you reach this new place of being, the tone of your life undergoes a major shift.

Some of the same events from your past may still recur, but they won’t have the same effect on you as before, and you’ll respond to them differently.

For example, suppose that as part of your path of growth, you made dietary improvements that led to a disconnect with the diets of your old friends and family members. (I keep going back to the diet example because it’s fairly simple and easy to grasp — and also quite common.)

During the time when you still kept one foot in both worlds, you may encounter social situations where you’re the odd person out. Maybe you have a holiday meal with your family, and you’re the only vegan there. Or maybe your friends invite you out for drinks, and you’re the only non-drinker. Maybe you’ll feel a bit pressured or uncomfortable in such situations. You give the situation your power, so you feel weak. Other people can push your buttons by teasing you about your health changes. And even though you may not show it, sometimes they get to you. You may even dread such situations in advance because you know it’s going to be awkward. You may go into such situations feeling guarded in advance.

However, after you complete this shift, your experience will be very different. Similar circumstances may still occur, but now you’re locked in to your new vibration, and you’re radiating strength and certainty. First off, other people will subconsciously pick up on your new vibration, and they’ll be less likely to tease you. They may even feel intimidated by you. More often than not, they’ll be curious about your diet and will ask you questions about it. They’ll sense your power and vitality and will be inclined to think, I want what s/he has. Even if they tease you, such remarks will just bounce off of you, and their teasing is more likely to backfire and make them look foolish. You’ve become far too strong for them to bring you down. On the contrary you begin to elevate them instead.

It’s like you’re the Captain of the Enterprise, and in the first situation, you’re trying to sneak though through hostile Borg-controlled space, where virtually any encounter could send you running for the escape pods. The mere sight of a Borg ship makes you shout, “Red alert! Shields up!” and you go into fight-or-flight mode. You have one eye on the sensors and another on the weapons console. You maintain a defensive posture because you anticipate a possible attack at any moment.

Do you know anyone who’s still in this phase?

Now in the second scenario, it’s like you’re taking your ship through friendly territory, and you’re in command of the flagship. You have no need of shields or defensive posturing because you know you’re safe. No one would dare attack you on your home turf, and even if they did, you’d phaser and photon torpedo their asses into the Q continuum. Your posture is neither aggressive nor defensive. You’re an explorer, happy to meet and share ideas with other explorers. Sometimes people are intimidated by you, and you have to reassure them that you aren’t going to take out their freighter for spite. You have the ability to defend yourself with great force if necessary, but you don’t make a habit of picking fights. You’re too busy exploring and learning.

Those of us who are on a path of lifelong conscious growth will undergo many shifts like this.

I’ve gone through this process multiple times, and there’s usually a striking difference between the before and after phases. If you look back through some of my old blog posts on certain topics, you might even see the shift gradually taking place, reflected through my writing style. Initially when I’m embarking on a new transition, I typically don’t know what I’m doing, my competence isn’t that high, and if it’s something controversial, I’ll often assume an aggressive or defensive posture to stave off any criticism. I anticipate attacks and declare “Red alert! Shields up!” before anyone can even fire a shot.

But then once I’ve completed the shift, I become much more centered. The new place of being feels normal and natural to me because I’ve locked in the new vibration. The sense of defensiveness fades, and I’m more likely to be playful and joking in the face of criticism. I have more fun with what I’m doing. All the social support and encouragement is there. I also attract less criticism because people sense it would be futile anyway. I attract a lot more questions as well as people who are on a similar path of growth and learning. It’s a wonderful place to be.

One of the reasons I’m willing to go through this process publicly is that it keeps me from getting stuck. It’s a lot harder to stagnate when so many people are keeping tabs on you because you’ve publicly committed yourself. I also like that by sharing my own experiences along the way, many people can relate to what I’m going through and apply it to situations in their own lives, and it helps them to keep progressing too.

Leadership

Ultimately this process takes us to a place of leadership.

Like it or not, if you’re committed to a path of conscious growth, you’re a leader.

There’s a reason you often find yourself as seemingly the only person you know with certain qualities. There’s a reason you seem to always be the one who goes first (or one of the first), as compared to your family and friends.

Your role is to lead.

I know that going first can feel scary. It can leave you feeling isolated, alone, and disconnected at times. That is part of the process though. Those phases are necessary to help you build your strength. You need to become resilient enough to maintain your power and certainty even in the face of adversity. You need to learn how to stick to your guns when you know you’re right, even when it seems the rest of the world disagrees with you. On behalf of the universe, I wish I could apologize to you for all the hardships you’ll endure through these transition phases, but please understand that the challenges you face are necessary to sculpt your character.

In order to live consciously, you must make your own choices, independent of social pressure. You must summon the greatest inner wisdom you can muster and learn to trust it. You must lead.

If you’re the one in your social circle who declines alcohol… if you’re the one who leaves a disempowering relationship… if you’re the one who shuns frankenfoods… then you’re the leader. As one of the first to hold that new vibration, you must give the rest of humanity a chance to catch up… without backsliding yourself.

It doesn’t matter if you’re outnumbered 10-to-1, 100-to-1, or even 1000-to-1. Being centered in your role as leader is a force multiplier. One strong, committed leader can outthink the masses any day of the week.

In your role as leader, you cannot lead by force. You must lead by true power. This is the power not to command others; it’s the power to lead by example.

You don’t have to try to convince others to be on a path of conscious growth. Don’t obsess over what others are doing. Instead, turn your gaze within, and focus on being the best example of conscious living you can be.

I’ve never convinced anyone to make serious changes by trying to convince them to do so. However, I’ve helped thousands of people make improvements simply by sharing where I’m at. For example, each time I post photos of my raw vegan meals on Facebook, I get comments from people who are inspired to make healthier choices as a result. My goal isn’t to get people to eat as I do; rather I want people to make more conscious choices that work for them — and to stand up to social pressure.

Leadership is about sharing. Think like an explorer. Report back on what you discover. Let people know about the wonders that await them. The ones who are ready to embark on a similar journey will do so.

If I’m sitting down to dinner with a dozen SAD eaters, I assume that I’m the leader. It’s not my place to convince them to eat differently. All I need to do is hold the vibration of where I am. And inevitably what happens is that someone notices I’m eating much differently than anyone else at the table, and they get curious and ask me about it. Then we have a cool discussion about the benefits. I may be just one of many influences on them that day, but much of the time the experience will plant a seed in their mind, a seed that will eventually sprout. A year later I get an email from such a person telling me they’ve lost 50 pounds after making some dietary changes.

As a leader your job is to inspire. You can do that by keeping yourself inspired. If you keep learning and growing, you’ll automatically inspire others to do the same. And when you do that, it benefits all of us. Inspired people are walking gift-givers.

Strength

When you resist your leadership role, you disconnect from your core self, and you broadcast weakness instead of strength. That weakness will attract criticism. Some people will pounce on you because you’re weak. They’ll tease you and berate you for your choices. They may rip you to shreds at times, leaving you feeling beat up.

You’re stronger than this, however. You succumb to weakness when you resist who you’re becoming, when you cling to the past, and when you try to salvage relationships that are destined for transformation.

You cannot transform your old relationships unless you complete the process of transforming yourself. You have the option of keeping your old friends and family in your life, but when this process begins to unfold, it’s better if you disconnect from those old relationships for a while. Go into your cocoon, so to speak, and allow yourself to emerge as a butterfly. Then you can return to those old relationships, and you’ll be strong enough to transform them one by one. In that case your role will be to demonstrate how beautiful it is to be a butterfly, so you can inspire the other caterpillars in your life to begin their own process of transformation.

Recognize that even though it may feel lonely at times, you’re never truly alone. There are lots of people who understand what you’re going through. We can relate to it. We know it’s hard at times. We know how it feels to be stuck with one foot in both worlds, still clinging to those old relationships while deep down knowing that you must eventually let go… yet harboring some fear and trepidation about what may exist on the other side.

Let me tell you that the other side is golden. It is wondrous and beautiful every single time. The grass is vibrantly greener.

Allow yourself to be strong. Release that from your life which weakens you. You may get yelled at for doing so, but realize that this is just your own fear and hesitation being reflected back to you. Once you reach the other side and rebuild your energy and self esteem, you’ll wonder why you ever hesitated.

Lead.

Uncopyrighted by Steve Pavlina