Would You Sleep With a Married Person?

August 25th, 2015 by Steve Pavlina

The title assumes of course that the married person isn’t married to you. :)

In light of the recent Ashley Madison revelations, apparently millions of people in North America would have to answer yes to this question.

This is a multi-layered question. Let’s peel off some of those layers and look at them individually, so you can better understand this choice.

Basic Openness

The first layer is: Do you believe there’s anything inherently wrong about being intimate with someone who’s already in a relationship?

Is it necessary for a potential intimate partner of yours to have no other relationship commitments or entanglements? Does that person have to be single for you to be willing to explore an intimate connection? Or could you explore with someone who already has a partner?

Assuming the other person is willing, assuming you share mutual attraction and enough compatibility, and assuming his/her other partner(s) are aware of what’s going on, would you have any immediate resistance to intimately connecting with this person?

Is your answer different if you ponder the question with regards to emotional intimacy instead of physical intimacy?

If you would resist or decline such an opportunity, why is that? Why would you say no?

When I was younger, I’d have resisted such an opportunity. I was raised to believe that it would be wrong. I believed that the only good relationships were strictly monogamous and heterosexual, and everything else was deviant. Those beliefs followed me into my 20s and probably into my early 30s as well. For the most part, I wasn’t consciously aware of these beliefs though, and I didn’t give much thought to possible alternatives.

Eventually I realized that I no longer had any issues with other people who wanted to engage in such pursuits, but I didn’t personally feel comfortable doing it myself. It wasn’t due to jealousy. I felt this way because I was personally uncomfortable with the idea.

What shifted me further was spending time with people who didn’t find anything wrong with this at all. I met men and women alike who seemed genuinely happy and fulfilled with an open relationship posture. This made me curious, and I gradually leaned into the experience. For the past several years, most of the women I’ve been intimate with already had a boyfriend or spouse who was fully aware of the situation and totally fine with it.

For me this was largely an experiential issue. To get clear about my feelings, I had to allow myself to experience both sides. Gaining experience with unfamiliar situations led me to update my beliefs. Today I see nothing inherently wrong with being intimate with someone who has one or more other intimate partners.

Generally speaking, I like it when a woman already has another partner. That suggests that she’s capable of sharing emotional intimacy and maintaining a stable relationship. If she’s in an open relationship, it tells me she’s probably gone through a lot of personal growth to reach that point, which means we’re likely to have some shared values in the areas of growth, exploration, and experiential learning. The fact that someone else finds her pleasing enough to want to continue connecting with her is a good sign as well.

Usually I have better and more fulfilling connections with women who already have relationship partners or who otherwise have significant previous relationship experience as opposed to women who’ve been single for years or have kept mostly to themselves. So if a woman is currently in a relationship, on balance that usually makes me feel better about connecting with her.

I also know from experience that human relationships can be very fluid. Someone who’s in a relationship now may not be in one a few months from now. Change is inevitable. So I don’t regard a person’s current relationship status as being a barrier to connecting, at least not by itself.

Open Adultery

The next layer is: Do you believe there’s anything inherently wrong about being intimate with someone who’s married?

For some people this layer is virtually no different than the previous one. For others the marriage aspect is a big deal.

Would you answer this question any differently than the last one, assuming that the only real issue is the existence of a marriage, and if we assume that everyone is aware of and is okay with your dalliances?

Marriage is a legal arrangement. When you get married, the state is now involved in your relationship. In the case of adultery, there can be added legal risks that wouldn’t otherwise exist in a non-married situation.

Did you know that adultery is actually illegal in many places? Sleeping with someone else’s spouse is still considered a crime in 21 U.S. states. In most states it’s only a misdemeanor punishable by a fine, while in others it could subject you to up to four years in prison. In Idaho, Massachusetts, Michigan, Oklahoma, and Wisconsin, adultery is a felony. This situation is gradually changing though. In the past five years, three states have repealed their anti-adultery laws. I was surprised to learn that adultery is still illegal in New York, where it’s classified as a Class B misdemeanor; I had thought New York would be more progressive. In my home state of Nevada, adultery is legal.

To clarify this a bit further, in some states a single adulterous act wouldn’t be considered a crime. It’s only when cohabitation is involved, thereby establishing a pattern of ongoing adulterous acts, that it crosses the legal line.

Legal prosecution of adultery is becoming increasingly rare. Massachusetts, for instance, hasn’t charged anyone with such a crime since 1983. Even when public figures are involved, prosecution normally isn’t pursued.

The more realistic risks are social ones, especially if you maintain relationships with other people who’d seek to shame and punish your “sinful” ways. I find that these consequences are more a result of dishonesty than of actual adultery. It’s the attempt to hide and cover up the adultery that seems to create the worst consequences.

Due to my own open relationship explorations, I occasionally receive some negative feedback from readers about it, but I receive many times that volume in positive feedback and follow-up questions from people who appreciate my honesty even more. The condemnation I receive for this lifestyle choice is minimal and mostly limited to one-liners with curse words.

While some people may prefer to avoid adultery due to the potential social consequences, my personal experience has shown me that it’s really no big deal. From far away the scarecrow looks intimidating, but it’s really just a stuffed shirt.

Lying about adultery and covering it up, however, usually invites more serious consequences. Social disdain for dishonesty is much greater than for adultery.

Legal and social consequences notwithstanding, is physical intimacy with a married person okay with you?

What about emotional intimacy?

For me it doesn’t make a meaningful difference whether or not someone is married. By itself, the existence of such a legal arrangement wouldn’t be enough to rule out an intimate connection. But if there is a marriage involved, then I would understand that there could be significant legal consequences for the other person due to exploring outside the marriage, such as the potential for a divorce. So I’d want to be sure the other person was aware of those consequences and was willing to explore without being reckless and impulsive.

Secret Adultery

The next layer is: Do you believe there’s anything inherently wrong about being intimate with someone who intends to hide your connection from his/her partner?

Now we’ve taken this from an open connection that all parties know about to one that involves hiding the truth. While you wouldn’t necessarily have to lie, your intimate partner might have to tell lies or significantly bend the truth to hide your connection.

Would you be okay with that? Would it depend on the specifics?

What if no lying was ever necessary?

What if there was a risk that you’d get pulled into actively hiding the truth to keep things covered up?

Would it make a difference if this was just a one-time event versus an ongoing affair?

As far as I can recall, I’ve never had this particular situation come up. I’ve often wondered how I’d handle it since it’s likely to come up eventually.

In general I could see myself possibly exploring such a connection, such as with a woman who was having serious doubts about her relationship and/or experiencing a significant disconnect with her partner. I wouldn’t hold it against her if she wanted to explore with someone else on the side for a while. I have a lot of respect for people struggling to grow through challenging situations, having been through a number of such situations myself. I understand that some people find themselves in relationships with partners who are more closed and less growth-oriented than they are, and this creates pressure to explore outside of the relationship in order to rekindle that spark of growth and avoid suffocation.

I already experience such connections on the emotional intimacy side because many people email me about their relationship challenges, often sharing feelings with me that they can’t easily share with their partners. In a few cases, I’ve even had both partners emailing me. It was eye-opening to see how each person interpreted the same events from their own point of view.

One question I’d ask myself is: Would exploring an intimate connection with this person likely do more good than harm? If I can truthfully say yes to this question, I’d probably say yes to the connection.

Is the other person making a conscious choice to share intimacy with someone else? If they’re making a conscious choice and doing it willingly, with eyes open, and they seem to understand the potential risks and consequences, I could probably handle the exploration if it seemed likely to be an important growth experience for us both. But if they weren’t ready to accept such responsibility and could go no further than baiting me into seducing them (such that they could later deny responsibility for initiating), I’d leave the bait dangling on the line for someone else to nibble.

I know some people who’d gladly share an intimate connection with someone who needed to be seduced and who didn’t want to feel responsible for their actions. This is a line I haven’t crossed and do not desire to cross. It seems like an invitation for hurt and drama, and it doesn’t align well with conscious growth.

In this kind of situation, I’d need more than a passive nod. I’d want to see conscious consent. It’s been my experience, however, that when people are capable of consciously consenting to such an exploration, they’re usually capable of being honest with their primary partner about it as well. It’s difficult to separate responsibility and honesty.

Another place where I’d draw the line would be lying on behalf of the other person to conceal the secret. I wouldn’t be willing to actively lie, but I could agree to keep the connection private. It would be up to the other person to either share or not share the truth with their partner. I wouldn’t push them to share anything if they preferred to hide that aspect from their partner, especially if I felt they had valid reasons for exploring privately for a while.

I generally don’t share details about the private connections I experience with people because by default, I assume everyone wants privacy unless they tell me otherwise. I like hearing the unvarnished truth from people whenever possible. I don’t want people to feel compelled to hide important details when discussing their growth challenges.

Where would you draw the line here? What would you consider okay versus out of bounds?

I’d expect that some of my readers may feel I’m drawing the line too far out here, perhaps expecting me to be more resistant to exploring with someone who intended to hide it from her partner. I can understand such feelings since I used to feel similarly. Going through my own separation and divorce made me more sympathetic towards others who find themselves in challenging relationship situations. I was especially grateful that other people were willing to explore intimacy with me while I was still married. It was extremely helpful for me to have the opportunity to connect with others who were nonjudgmental and understanding of my situation. I grew tremendously because of that.

I was lucky to have a conscious and understanding wife who was able to talk about these explorations openly along the way, so I didn’t have to hide anything from her. We invested a lot of time in open communication throughout the process.

Many people aren’t so lucky though, finding their partners unwilling to discuss and/or work on resolving their challenges. What are they supposed to do if they can’t engage in open dialog? What would you do if your partner was stonewalling your attempts to discuss and transform the relationship? What if you loved him/her very much? What if the situation was depressing you, lowering your energy, and hurting your self-esteem?

It’s too easy to exclaim, “That’s wrong! That’s cheating!” But will such a response lead to healing and resolution? Will it help someone transition to a more fulfilling relationship?

In many situations, I think it’s actually a good idea for people to explore outside the boundaries of a hurting or numb relationship. I know it can be risky, but it can also lead to positive growth and change.

Am I suggesting that the end justifies the means? No, in this case I’m saying that the means are reasonable unto themselves. You have the freedom to explore your path of growth. If a relationship is blocking you from growing, it’s simply intelligent to go around it. A plant that keeps growing in the direction of the sunlight is growing intelligently; it would be foolish to condemn such a plant for being disloyal to the soil.

Violent Adultery

Our final layer is: Do you believe there’s anything inherently wrong about being intimate with someone who deliberately wants to hurt his/her partner?

What if the other person’s relationship has become so damaged that s/he is now seeking an affair to intentionally hurt or sabotage the relationship?

What if s/he seems to want to get caught? What if the intent is to shame, embarrass, or humiliate his/her partner?

Would you allow yourself to share an intimate connection with such a person?

This would be a dealbreaker for me. It might still be a growth experience for the couple, probably leading to a forced and abrupt relationship transition, but I wouldn’t want someone to use me as leverage to do something mean-spirited towards another person. While I understand that some people feel desperate enough to use this as a transition strategy, it’s not a match for my values. Depending on the circumstances, I might also be inclined to warn the partner, especially if I felt doing so could prevent him from suffering further damage.

How do you feel about this situation? Is there any possibility you might find yourself involved with such a person?

Your Standards

What other variations on these themes would help you clarify your values and beliefs? What are the remaining gray areas for you?

What if someone’s partner was going through a major illness, and their current relationship offered no outlet for physical intimacy? What if someone’s partner was away on business for several months? What if someone’s partner was lonely and simply wanted to feel good again?

When I’m faced with a challenging situation and want to make a conscious choice, I keep coming back to the same core principles: truth, love, and power.

Here’s how I’d apply them to situations like those described above.

Truth – What’s the reality of the situation? What’s the status of the person’s relationship? If I connect with this person, what outcomes and consequences are likely? If we don’t connect, what outcomes and consequences are likely?

Love – Do we have compatible desires? Do we want to explore together? Are our reasons for connecting positive and honorable? Do I feel good about this connection? Does she?

Power – Can we help each other grow? Will connecting empower us? Can we help each other become stronger? Can we serve as a source of strength for each other? Can we teach each other and learn from each other?

As a shortcut just ask yourself this one question: Is it intelligent to explore an intimate connection with this person?

Usually when I ask myself that last question, the answer aligns pretty well with my intuitive feelings. I perceive a connection to be intelligent when it increases the emotional health and/or the experiential wisdom of the people involved.

What are your standards? What are your limits for a connection you’d consider worth exploring?

How adulterous are you?

Steve Recommends
Here are my recommendations for products and services I've reviewed that can improve your results. This is a short list since it only includes my top picks.

Site Build It! - Use SBI to start your own money-making website
Getting Rich with Ebooks - Earn passive income from ebooks
Lefkoe Method - Permanently eliminate a limiting belief in 20 minutes
PhotoReading - Read books 3 times faster
Paraliminals - Condition your mind for positive thinking and success
The Journal - Record your life lessons in a secure private journal
Sedona Method (FREE audios) - Release your blocks in a few minutes
Life on Purpose - A step-by-step process to discover your life purpose

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8 Shortcuts to Desire and Motivation

August 14th, 2015 by Steve Pavlina

Many people ask me how to develop a better connection to their desires, passions, and major life interests. I know that a lot of people feel bored, checked out, and unclear about what goals to pursue. Let me share some of my favorite shortcuts to help you figure out what drives you.

1. Embrace the New

My #1 recommendation is to embrace the new. Do anything and everything if it’s new to you. The benefit is that you’ll give your brain a lot of experiences to compare and contrast. This will help you evolve your tastes and refine your experiential palate.

I love new experiences and will often say yes to a new invitation even if I don’t expect to like it that much. If it seems new enough, then even if I don’t like it, it may still help me refine my tastes in some fashion.

Earlier this summer I took an orgasmic meditation class and did a couple of OM sessions with two different women. It was new to me, so I figured, why not try it? I found it overly rigid and boring though. However, trying it gave me more clarity about what I like and why I like it. The experience helped me see that I prefer more spontaneous and dynamic ways of connecting.

Clarity comes from contrast, so if you want more clarity, invite more contrast by embracing and accepting new experiences. This is especially crucial for people in their teens and 20s. Put the word out to your social circle that you’re open to trying things you’ve never done before, and ask for some invites. Say yes to some of those invitations.

Your brain learns from experience. If you lack experience, then how can your brain know its most important preferences? Of course it cannot — you need to train it more. How are you supposed to discover your favorite foods if you do the equivalent of eating the same food every day?

2. Turn Towards Fear

Irrational fear often blocks people from living interesting lives. See if you can identify a major fear that’s irrational, meaning that you wouldn’t be in any real danger if you acted in spite of that fear. Then make a serious commitment to face that head-on until you’ve mastered it, even if it takes 10 years.

Public speaking was a biggie for me. I made a point of seriously tackling that starting around 2004. It’s been wonderful to transform such an irrational and pointless fear into a confident skill that opens many doors. I also did a lot of relationship and sexuality exploration in the past several years to expand my comfort zone and refine my social interests more.

Keep deliberately throwing yourself into situations that feel uncomfortable to you, and you’ll see your comfort zone expand. As the fear diminishes, you’ll feel much freer than you did before. You’ll have more options available to you. You won’t have to decline something just because you’re afraid of it.

Another benefit of facing your fear is that you’ll attract other people who are doing the same. You’ll make better, stronger, more interesting friends. People who avoid their fears are usually very boring to socialize with — they don’t make very good friends because they stay inside their comfort zones. Such people aren’t very stimulating, and they won’t help you grow much. So if you allow yourself to become that kind of lifeless person, the more interesting people will tend to shun you because you offer them little or no stimulation and growth. Begin facing your fears, and the opposite will happen.

Decide to master your irrational fears instead of letting them control you. This especially includes the fear of failure and the fear of rejection. Failure and rejection are normal parts of life; if you try to avoid them, you’ll also avoid living an interesting life.

3. Use Total Immersion Liberally

Many people just dabble in their interests, but the most juicy parts of life usually won’t reveal themselves unless you go well beyond the surface level.

Instead of trying to balance your life on a daily basis — which can lead to a very boring and superficial existence — allow yourself to fully obsess over your interests now and then.

To use a poker analogy, stop calling so much. Either raise or fold. Pursue an interest like it’s the only thing that matters in life, or drop it and ignore it until it does spark enough interest. Get out of that gray zone in the middle.

The people I know who tend to be the most motivated seem to completely throw themselves into whatever interests them. They live in a world of 0% or 100%, not 50%. Life is more binary for them; it’s full of yeses and nos and very few maybes.

When was the last time you pursued one singular interest intensively for a full day or more, to the exclusion of virtually everything else but the essentials? Life should be filled with days like that — a single focus carrying you through from dawn till dusk.

I even do this with small things, in ways that other people might find ridiculous, but I find this all-out immersion so much more motivating than dabbling or doing a half-assed job. For instance, I’ll sometimes take a full day or two to conduct exhaustive online research for a major purchase till I feel that I’m practically an expert on it.

4. Drop Pointless Obligations

If you want the time and energy to pursue what does interest you, then say no to all the things that don’t interest you enough to pursue them at 100% capacity. Drop that pointless clutter from your life for good, and never look back.

For most of my life, whenever the holidays would come up, I used to dread buying gifts for other people. I’d usually postpone it till Dec 23rd or 24th. I was never much good at it, and I only did it to please other people. I could see that this was never going to be a 100% interest. So some years ago, I told everyone I was dropping this annual ritual. People accepted this about me — it wasn’t such a big deal at all. Now I feel so relieved every time the holidays come up, and I enjoy that time of year so much more. All the stress is gone. If I want to buy someone a gift, then I’ll do it because I really want to, not because I feel obligated to honor some stale tradition. Freedom is wonderful!

You probably have some pointless obligations in your life as well. So dump them. Such obligations only waste your mental energy and prevent you from spending more time on genuine interests.

Otherwise if you’re so committed to being a people-pleaser, then I’d love to have you as my personal slave. If you refuse, I’ll be very displeased with you.

People will often squawk at you if you fail to satisfy their expectations. Let them squawk and whine, and then roll your eyes at them. It will pass. Eventually they’ll update their expectations to match your behavior. Don’t feel obligated to adapt your behavior to satisfy other people’s tedious expectations. Once enough people get to know you, you’ll realize that this is impossible anyway.

5. Be a Fast Quitter

When you realize that a path isn’t right for you, don’t be clingy with it. Let it go and move on to something else.

Definitely try new things, but if you’re convinced there are no diamonds in the mine, then quit right away, even if you have nothing else to pursue in its place. Let the empty space be there for a while, so it doesn’t serve to clutter your life.

There are so many interesting things to try in life that if you don’t learn to be a fast quitter, you’re going to get bogged down in long, drawn-out obligations that run you in circles. Cut your losses early and cheaply.

You’re going to make mistakes. You’ll buy the wrong item, date the wrong person, eat the wrong food, and accept the wrong job. That’s part of life. When you experience the wrongness, take corrective action quickly. Don’t play mind games with yourself by pretending you like something that just bores or frustrates you.

6. Take Real Vacations

Give yourself regular resets by taking vacations. Completely disconnect from your old routine. Let your mind wander in different directions. Give yourself input that you aren’t used to.

A real vacation is at least a week, ideally 10 days minimum. It usually takes a few days to fully center yourself in a new location and to stop dwelling on unfinished items you left behind.

On Tuesday night I returned from a two-week trip to Toronto. I wrote a blog post and a newsletter early in the trip, but otherwise it was purely a vacation. My girlfriend and I spent a day at the Royal Ontario Museum (the Pompeii exhibit was delightful), went boating with friends on Lake Ontario around the Toronto islands, saw three plays and four movies, hosted a games night, explored a fort from the War of 1812, and attended an all-day vegan food festival.

When I got back, I felt super motivated to throw myself into projects. It’s hard not to keep working even after putting in a 12-hour day now. My motivation for action is surging.

Near the end of a long enough vacation, you’ll start feeling impatient and eager to get back to something productive. Part of you wants to work. The vacation provides time for this pressure to build. Then when you return, it can act like a coiled spring and send you into super-high motivation for action.

But if you never take extended breaks, you’ll eventually find yourself wallowing in the gray zone of low motivation. Very little will seem interesting to you. That’s when you know it’s time to invite some fresh stimulation.

What if budget is a concern? That’s never a real barrier unless you insist on making it one. Some of the most interesting travelers I’ve met have been traveling while almost completely broke, usually by couchsurfing and sharing rides with people… or traveling by bike or on foot. They realized that financial lack was just a feeble excuse, and that running out of money is no big deal anyway. None of them have starved to death. In fact, some had funny stories of sleeping in parks and such, which actually made them much more interesting to be around — a lot more interesting than those who hide behind their finances to avoid stretching themselves.

7. Switch Modes

If you’re feeling uncertain in one part of your life, you can shift your focus to a different part of your life where you have more clarity. Use full immersion in the clearer area, and let the uncertain area slide for a while.

For instance, if you’re confused about your career or financial possibilities, try focusing on something completely different such as your health, especially if you have more obvious paths to improvement there.

I do this mode shifting many times each year, and it does wonders for me. When I’m uncertain about my social life, I immerse myself in my business. When I’m uncertain about my business, I immerse myself in health and lifestyle explorations. This keeps me from feeling stuck for too long.

Forcing yourself to move forward when clarity is lacking can be very unproductive. But you may be able to make rapid progress by shifting your focus to another area, especially towards something you’ve been avoiding, like decluttering and organizing your home, dealing with your relationship issues, or getting all of your past tax filings up to date. What often happens is that this clarity and momentum eventually spills over into the previously blocked area, and you turn back to that area when the timing is finally right.

Work and school don’t have to be the central focus of your life. It can be wonderful to spend a month or longer delving into a different aspect of life with little or no attention paid to work.

I think it’s helpful to adopt a broader definition of productivity. You can be productive by creating value for yourself or for others. This doesn’t have to happen through traditional work and business though.

One thing I really love about my lifestyle is that I have the freedom to spend a significant amount of time each year — even most of any given year, if I so desire — focusing on non-work pursuits. I also picked a career path that allows me to transform many otherwise personal pursuits into articles and lessons that provide value for others. I’ll often go for weeks or even months without doing much income-generating work at all. It’s enough for me to just maintain my business sometimes, giving it enough attention to keep it going, while I immerse myself in some other project or pursuit.

The urge to produce output for others as well as the desire to earn money can be very strong, but it’s important to honor those times when you’d be better served by focusing on other aspects of your life, like your health, your relationships, or new explorations. This is especially important when you feel blocked or stuck in some other area.

8. Stop Making a Big Deal Out of Uncertainty

My final tip is basic patience. I get a lot of emails from people in their 20s who seem to be spazzing out about their uncertainty. They’re troubled that they don’t know what to do with their lives yet, as if this is something they should know with total clarity at that age.

Personally I think it’s ridiculous to expect people in their 20s to have high clarity about what they’d like to be doing with their lives. It’s usually the parents or peers that put this kind of pressure on younger people to decide, to decide now, and to somehow make the right decision.

You should know that I also get emails from people in their 30s and 40s who felt pushed into premature clarity, and they’re suffering for it. They end up stuck in a boring job with a boring social life and little drive and motivation to change. If they’re lucky, they’ll eventually snap out of it and go explore for a while.

How many more options do you have available today that your parents or grandparents didn’t have when they were your age? How many career and lifestyle possibilities didn’t even exist for them at that age? Did they have the ability to create an online business or live as a digital nomad? Their choices were much simpler since they had fewer career options, fewer relationship options, less access to information, less mobility, and less empowering technology. So it makes perfect sense that they might be completely out of touch with the confusion of today’s 20-somethings, who are growing up in a completely different world of endless possibilities and no easy way of filtering through them all. Consequently, you can’t apply the same rules your parents and grandparents did and expect them to work for you. Their world is gone.

I think your 20s should be all about exploration and experimentation. It’s a great time to expand and extend yourself in many different directions. Try lots and lots of new things. Start facing your biggest fears. Invest heavily in self-development. Keep going from one magnificent obsession to another. Don’t force yourself to commit prematurely.

I think it’s perfectly fine to be uncertain. I’m 44, and I still go through periods of uncertainty about what to do or experience next. Even when I do feel certain, I’m sometimes wrong about it. The difference is that I don’t beat myself up about my confused periods, and I don’t let other people beat me up either. I embrace the uncertainty as a time to explore and stretch myself.

If people try to push you for premature convergence on decisions about which you’re uncertain, they may get frustrated with you. Let them get frustrated, but don’t make their frustration your own. Embrace and enjoy your freedom to explore. There is no deadline.

If I had my 20s to do all over again, I’d spend that decade doing tons of exploration. I’d travel extensively. I’d explore a variety of relationship styles and partners. I’d immerse myself in learning skill after skill. I’d try lots of different ways of generating income to see what I liked best. I’d know that I could make bigger bets later in life on the interests that felt more commitment-worthy.

Heck… why not spend our whole lives that way? Why should we ever need to force premature certainty? Is it really under our control to do so anyway?

When all else fails, why not simply embrace and accept uncertainty? Other people may have an issue with that, but why should you? How many times in history have people been certain about something utterly wrong, provably false, or deeply unethical? How many lives could have been spared and mistakes avoided if someone simply allowed their mental locking mechanism to float a while longer?

Being uncertain isn’t a problem, unless you turn it into one. The most interesting movies are the ones where you have no idea what will happen next. Perhaps the most interesting lives are often like that too.

Steve Recommends
Here are my recommendations for products and services I've reviewed that can improve your results. This is a short list since it only includes my top picks.

Site Build It! - Use SBI to start your own money-making website
Getting Rich with Ebooks - Earn passive income from ebooks
Lefkoe Method - Permanently eliminate a limiting belief in 20 minutes
PhotoReading - Read books 3 times faster
Paraliminals - Condition your mind for positive thinking and success
The Journal - Record your life lessons in a secure private journal
Sedona Method (FREE audios) - Release your blocks in a few minutes
Life on Purpose - A step-by-step process to discover your life purpose

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