When something seemingly negative or disagreeable occurs to us, our initial tendency is to resist it. But behind such events, we also undergo some powerful positive shifts. Let me share several examples since it’s easier to understand this via personal illustrations.
Scarcity -> Freedom
When I experienced financial scarcity, I disliked it very much. It bothered me not to be able to afford many things. I hated seeing wealthier people live with fewer limits while I had to watch my money so carefully. I hated working hard for years and ending up with less money than before I started. Sometimes I felt incompetent just because I couldn’t get control of my finances. I resisted my experience of financial scarcity. I thought it was very unfair that some people should have so much while I should be struggling to pay my bills and get out of debt.
But spiritually I was launching what Esther Hicks calls rockets of desires. Financial scarcity isn’t me. I want to be financially abundant. I want to be able to afford anything I desire. I want to live without financial limitations. I want money to become a smaller part of my life instead of my constant daily concern. I want to be more generous. I want to live in a world where there is abundance for all. I want a way to make money that I can feel good about. I want to earn enough to cover my expenses without having to work such long hours every week. I would love to be able to take a vacation now and then. I’d love to have time for travel. Please!
These desires helped me see the truth that I wasn’t living congruently. I wanted to be someone other than I was. I saw that deep down, my spirit was more than these petty problems. Some part of me was elevated above my situation and retained this truth. I just had to access it by following the trail of desires. Desires lead us back to our true selves.
The truth is this: My spirit is abundant and limitless. My spirit is creative and resourceful. My spirit is generous and giving. My spirit is complete; he wants for nothing. My spirit is free. My spirit is far more powerful than money.
Cruelty -> Compassion
When I learned of the process by which a beautiful animal becomes a packaged product for sale, I was disgusted by it. How could people be so cruel and heartless? How could people be so blind and callous towards suffering?
But spiritually… more rockets of desire: I do not wish to be a cruel, heartless, or ignorant person. I want to have the courage to seek out and embrace truth and to act congruently with it, even if it requires significant lifestyle changes. I want to keep my heart open, to care about all living creatures, and to live in harmony with them. I want to be brave enough to stand up for what I believe is right, even if it seems like the whole world believes the opposite. I want to be a person who’s unwilling to take advantage of the helpless just because I can. I want to be vegan for the rest of my life. I want to teach my children to care about animals.
My spirit is caring, compassionate, and nonviolent. My spirit knows that we are all one. My spirit is innately powerful and therefore has no need to overpower others. My spirit respects and values all life.
Separation -> Connection
As I was nearing the end of my marriage, I experienced more resistance. There has to be some way to make this work. Why is it so difficult to get my needs met? Why do I feel trapped? I don’t like going through this process. I don’t want anyone to get hurt. How did I get myself into this situation to begin with?
And the rockets of desire: I want to experience relationships that are free and open. I want to connect with people on the basis of desire and choice. I want to experience love without obligation. I want to enjoy relationships that are free of jealousy, guilt, and ambivalence. I want to care deeply about people. I want to make people that I care about feel good. I want to enjoy people as they are and not feel that I have to change them to be happy. I want to say “I love you” more often and to hear it said more often as well.
My spirit is free. My spirit is deeply connected, yet it is unattached to the specific forms of those connections; it perceives oneness and beauty regardless of form. My spirit accepts all and requires nothing to change. My spirit has all that it needs to create its own happiness. My spirit allows, invites, and attracts. My spirit can never be lonely or trapped.
Imperfection -> Beauty
And more resistance in relating to my physical body: Why can’t my body be the way I want it? Why does it take so much effort to lose that last bit of body fat? Why is flexibility so difficult for me? I miss distance running; I wish I hadn’t messed up my knee. Why do I look so dorky in that photo? Why is my hair slowly retreating from my forehead?
And the rockets of desire: I want my body to be healthy, strong, and physically fit. I want to be more flexible. I want to enjoy running again. I want my body fat to be lower. I want to less physically judgmental of others, accepting them as they are regardless of their physical fitness or appearance. I want to enjoy exercise as a form of play. I want to fully enjoy and appreciate my body and all that it does for me. I want to smile when I look in the mirror.
My spirit lives within the physical but beyond it as well. It perceives no ugliness and sees only beauty. My spirit declines to judge on the basis of physical appearance and sees everything as a part of itself. My spirit appreciates and relishes the chance to experience life in physical form. It knows that the challenges of the physical world serve to enhance its expansion. My spirit loves and appreciates the body it gets to use here. My spirit sees beauty everywhere.
Coldness -> Warmth
In seeing how people relate to each other, I think: Why do so many people keep their true feelings to themselves? I hate trying to communicate through shields. I’m tired of talking to shells. I don’t like it when people hide their hearts and souls. I hate not being able to talk to strangers; the world is full of strangers — why can’t it be full of friends? I’m so tired of walking around and having people pretend that we’re separate. I’m sick of seeing people depressed when I’d gladly give them a hug.
And new rockets of desire: I want to connect with people without shields. I want to hug people when I meet them instead of merely shaking hands. I want to relate to everyone I meet as if we’re already best friends. I want to cuddle my female friends and bask together in those blissful feelings of love and warmth. I want to communicate with depth and soulfulness. I want my relationships to be full of happiness, playfulness, and spirit. I want to be a beacon of openness, honesty, and receptivity. I want to be able to go out each day and experience deep connection, warmth, and affection wherever I am. I want to connect easily with others, and I want others to connect easily with me. I want to feel surrounded by friends and family.
My spirit recognizes that we’re always connected. There is no separation, no ice to break. We’re already family. We have physical bodies and physical lives, but they exist to serve the expansion of spirit, not to limit or define who we are. Connecting is easy and automatic.
Sin -> Spirit
In coming to terms with my sexuality and that of others, I feel frustrated by conflicted thoughts that tell me it’s shallow and inappropriate to desire a woman sexually, but it’s okay to connect with her mentally and emotionally. In part through my Catholic upbringing, I was taught that love is good, but lust is evil. And yet towards many women, I still feel both love and lust. I’m tired of thinking that one feeling is more virtuous and the other more sinful.
More rockets of desire: I want to be able to connect with women on all levels — physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual — without guilt or shame. I want to relate to women on the basis of honest and open communication without hiding our true thoughts and feelings from each other. I want to enjoy a life where lovers and friends needn’t be sharply separated. I want to regard sexuality as sacred and spiritual, yet without disconnecting from the physical pleasure of it. I want to be able to connect with a woman’s mind sometimes, her body other times, and still other times, her heart and spirit — and sometimes all of these at once. I want women to reject those influences that tell them they aren’t naturally beautiful.
My spirit recognizes the purpose of the sexual drive, which is to ensure that we connect. Sexual desire is a projection of our connectedness at the spiritual level. It is an intense feeling because we are intensely connected. My spirit embraces and acknowledges the desire to feel connected as innately beautiful. There is no shame or guilt present. To want to be inside each other is a perfect projection of the truth that we are already inside ourselves, creating this amazing expansion from within. We find each other attractive because spirit is aware enough to recognize and appreciate its own beauty.
From Resistance to Awareness
For every adversity, problem, or challenge, we shoot off new rockets of desire. Those rockets of desire, when we finally let go and follow them, lead us to a deeper awareness of our true selves. Our desires put us back in touch with who we really are. Once we remember that, the desires themselves begin to manifest.
As long as we resist our experience, we cause it to persist and intensify. The more we hate financial scarcity, the more of it we attract. The more we hate feeling disconnected, the more disconnection we attract. The more we hate our bodies, the more our bodies betray us. We continue to attract more of what we don’t want until we finally leverage that resistance to discover what we do want. Then we can follow those new rockets of desire back to our true selves.
Notice what experiences you’ve been resisting lately. Turn your attention to the new desires you’ve been launching as a result of these seemingly negative experiences. Can you see how much more you desire abundance, love, peace, etc. as a result of having these experiences? Can you see how every negative experience teaches you more about your true self?
Follow the trail of these desires back to your true self. Who are you really? What is your deepest nature?
As long as you remain out of alignment with yourself, you’ll continue to attract more of what you don’t want. But when you reaffirm who you truly are and reintegrate this spiritual truth into your daily life, the negative experiences will quickly fade, and you’ll begin attracting what you desire with relative ease.
Learn to appreciate what you still resist. Notice that these experiences serve as signposts directing you back to spirit.