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Here are some updates I want to share with you.
Conscious Growth Workshop #2
The second Conscious Growth Workshop is 2-1/2 months away, January 15-17, 2010 at the Flamingo in Las Vegas.
I’m really looking forward to doing another workshop. The energy people brought to the first one was just amazing! It’s been 4 weeks since the last one, and I’m still buzzing with excitement from it.
To learn more about the workshop and to register for it, please see the Conscious Growth Workshop page. You may also want to check out the Workshop FAQ, which will help you plan your trip to Las Vegas — my favorite city on earth. 🙂
Looking forward to seeing you there!
My Mac experience
I’m really enjoying my new Macbook Pro so far. It took me a while to get used to the interface, but overall the adaptation has been fairly easy. The hardest part was getting used to using command-C, command-V, command-X, command-Z instead of using the ctrl key, but I’ve got the hang of it now. I also found it odd that closing a window doesn’t close the app and that I have to close the app from the menu bar or by hitting command-Q.
Fortunately most of my work involves using online tools, so I don’t actually need that much native software. Once I figured out the web browser, I was able to be productive right away. I do miss Google Chrome, but Safari is working out okay so far.
I really like that I can connect the hard drive from my PC to my Mac (via a USB enclosure), and access all my PC files. It’s painlessly simple to open my MS-Office documents on my Mac without having to convert the file format.
For HTML editing and FTP, I’ve been using Coda and Transmit (I used HomeSite and CuteFTP on my PC). These two apps were among the most popular recommendations I received when I asked about Mac apps on Twitter and Facebook. I’m very thankful for all the people who gave me software suggestions within minutes of my asking.
I found Coda and Transmit very easy to learn and was editing files on my website within minutes after installing them. Right now I’m still using the free trial versions. I especially like that Transmit is built into Coda, so I’m wondering if I can get by with just Coda by itself. In general I tend to prefer try-before-you-buy software as opposed to free open-source software because in my experience the features, quality, usability, and support are usually better. Coda is $99.
What I like most about the Mac is the usability. The interface is elegantly designed, and it isn’t cluttered with stuff I don’t need to see. I also like that booting up and shutting down takes only seconds. With my PC I would sometimes go make a cup of tea while it was booting up. So far I haven’t had a single piece of software (or the Mac itself) crash on me. “It just works” is proving true in my experience.
I was stunned by how incredibly simple it was to connect the Mac to my wireless network. Before it even finished booting up, I was already online because the Mac detected my wireless network during the initial setup process. By comparison Windows networking looks like it was designed by an absolute lunatic.
I haven’t even booted up my PC in more than a week.
There is some PC software I still really like, such as The Journal, and some stuff I need for my business like Quickbooks Pro with the Payroll module (that module apparently isn’t available on the Mac), so I’ll probably install a Windows partition on my Macbook this week. I don’t need to use any Windows apps multiple times per day though, so I don’t think it will be necessary for me to install something like Parallels to run Mac and Windows apps side by side.
So far I’m quite happy with my purchase, and I doubt I’ll be using my old Windows-based PC anymore.
Yes, there is a premium to pay for a Mac, but I’m not in a position where it makes sense to be cheap. Quality is a much more important consideration for me.
Erin and I appreciate all the love and support that has come our way since we announced our separation last month.
We’re both in a pretty good place right now. We still talk and see each other often. As I mentioned previously, we remain close friends. We separated due to a lack of compatibility as husband and wife, not a lack of love or respect for each other. As one friend pointed out to me recently, our relationship had become like that of brother and sister. A marriage simply wasn’t the right form for us to enjoy our particular connection.
At this point it’s unlikely that Erin and I will be blogging much about the details. The love and support are much appreciated, but there were also lots of immature reactions to our announcement. For example, a few bloggers tried to capitalize on it by writing ridiculous posts to play up the drama in order to garner more attention for their blogs. We really don’t want to feed the drama addicts. Many people also projected their own relationship and divorce issues onto us and our children, asserting all sorts of false assumptions about the nature of our relationship and our reasons for separating. These people’s personal issues have nothing to do with the reality of our situation, and a high volume of low-quality feedback and advice from people who’ve never even met us isn’t helpful, so I don’t want to encourage more of that silliness.
Erin and I are getting plenty of constructive advice and support from our friends who know us well, so it makes much more sense for us to connect with those people as opposed to trying to summarize our relationship in a few blog posts. I probably spent about 30 hours on the phone last week, and I’m glad for it. Blogging really isn’t the right medium for addressing a topic like this though because it’s tough to convey emotions through plain text, so I tend not to even try (which admittedly makes my writing about it seem a bit cold). However, Erin and I might share more of our experiences together at the next Conscious Growth Workshop in January. Hopefully we can help people release some of the social conditioning regarding what a relationship or a divorce is supposed to look like.
One last thing I want to address is that some people seem to expect that I should be feeling sad or depressed right now, as if that’s my solemn duty as a guy who’s going through a divorce. Apparently I’m supposed to be miserable since that’s what divorcing people do to themselves. At the very least, I’m supposed to feel bad for my kids and the wretched existence they’re about to endure. To anyone who thinks that way, the best reply I can offer is, “Please remove thine head from thine arse.” A conscious separation is a very different experience than one filled with animosity and resentment.
There have been a few sad days in the past weeks, but overall I’m feeling immensely happy. If you see that as a betrayal of reality, of Erin, or of my children, that’s your business, but please don’t foist it on me as if it’s my business too. Rest assured I won’t be joining you in such foolish nonsense. I see no reason to wallow in negativity during this time when I’m perfectly capable of creating the emotions I want to experience — especially joy, abundance, bliss, excitement, and gratitude.
I feel genuinely grateful for my relationship with Erin — past, present, and future — and I’m delighted to continue exploring our soulful connection without trying to wedge it into the unwieldy shape of a marriage or a cohabitation arrangement. I’m feeling very happy and excited these days, and for those who expect me to feel otherwise, well… get used to disappointment. I choose not to create misery for myself — I think that would be incredibly foolish and selfish. I have a duty not only to myself to keep radiating joy and gratitude, but also to all the people I interact with. So I choose to be happy. Life is beautiful! 🙂