Achieving Goals by Improving Your Character
January 10th, 2007 by Steve Pavlina
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Often a change in character is a crucial part of shifting your identity to become more congruent with your goals and intentions. For example, suppose you want to become more successful in your career, and you set a goal to reach a certain position. Maybe the main reason you haven’t yet reached that position is that your character attributes are out of sync with it. Perhaps you aren’t disciplined enough, confident enough, or resourceful enough to get there.
Once you can identify the character qualities you’re missing, you can consciously develop them. But as long as you remain in the dark about these deficiencies, it will be tough to reach your goal because you won’t yet be the kind of person who can achieve it. It’s like trying to lift more weight than your muscles can manage.
Select one of your goals or intentions, especially one where your progress has been disappointing. Now ask yourself if a person with different character attributes would be more capable of achieving this goal than you are. What kind of person would find your goal easy to achieve?
Ask yourself the following questions:
- What would a person with more self-esteem do in my situation?
- What would a person with more courage do in my situation?
- What would a person with more self-discipline do in my situation?
- What would a person with more confidence do in my situation?
- What would a person with more compassion do in my situation?
- What would a person with more gratitude do in my situation?
- What would a person with more centeredness do in my situation?
- What would a person with more flexibility do in my situation?
- What would a person with more curiosity do in my situation?
- What would a person with more resourcefulness do in my situation?
- What would a person with more wisdom do in my situation?
Feel free to scan this list of values for more ideas.
By asking these questions for each of your goals, you’ll end up with a list of character qualities to develop. By strengthening these qualities, you’ll become the kind of person who can and will achieve your goal. Almost any meaningful goal you set will require some kind of character development. In the long run this character building is one of the best side effects of pursuing goals, eventually outshadowing the goals themselves. Just as weight training makes you stronger, goal achievement builds you a stronger character.
For example, if I can see that my problems wouldn’t even be an issue for someone with more courage, then I know a lack of courage is what’s holding me back. Complaining that the problem is too difficult doesn’t help me – that gives me nothing to work with. But realizing that I can solve the problem if I develop my courage is helpful because it gives me a direction. I know that if I can build my courage level high enough, I can eventually achieve the goal.
Once you’ve identified the character attributes you need to build, how do you train them up? See the article on Progressive Training for details on how to accomplish that. The process is very similar to using weight training to build your muscles. You start where you are and grow by tackling a series of progressive challenges.
You can also find a couple processes specifically for building courage in the article The Courage to Live Consciously.
Any character building you accomplish now can serve you well indefinitely. Qualities like courage, self-discipline, and resourcefulness pay dividends across all areas of your life.
January 11th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
Great Goal Setting Articles
I’ve read quite a few absolutely great articles on goal setting in the past week or so, and would like to present a short list of them for your and my own future reference.
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January 12th, 2007 at 8:08 am
[...] Steve Pavlina writes, “suppose you want to become more successful in your career, and you set a goal to reach a certain position. Maybe the main reason you haven’t yet reached that position is that your character attributes are out of sync with it. Perhaps you aren’t disciplined enough, confident enough, or resourceful enough to get there. Learn how to achieve your goals while improving your character. [...]
February 4th, 2007 at 3:06 pm
[...] This is an interesting post. I’ve had ideas like this myself but haven’t done much with them. Perhaps it’s time. [...]
February 5th, 2007 at 11:07 am
[...] Plan Your Day Achieving Goals by Improving Your Character How to Stop Procrastinating Simplify Your Life [...]
February 10th, 2007 at 9:37 am
[...] I like the ideas behind of Achieving Goals by Improving Your Character, but I think it’s backwards. You set and accomplish goals to improve your character. Probably RT would be a good basis for keeping up with things. [...]
March 21st, 2007 at 8:23 pm
[...] You know that really is the bottom line. Anything you worry about is just a challenge to overcome. If it cannot be overcome or accepted, your probably dead and dont have to worry about it any way. If this kind of thinking doesnt ring true for you, then you need to read more. I would suggest Steve Pavlina’s blog on personal development. [...]
April 16th, 2007 at 8:02 am
[...] Overcome Greed We all feel it at times, don’t we? Your boss gives you a raise, but you were hoping for more. The waiter brings the dessert out, but you’d prefer a larger slice of cake. Even if your greedy side is a small one, you need to overcome it, as it only sets you up for disappointment. Frugal living isn’t just about saving money, it is about setting goals and actually achieving them. The more you want and the more you spend, the more you will be disappointed when greed takes over your life. So, spend conservatively and the little things will make you happy once again. You will, in kind, take control of your money, your health and your love life. [...]
July 17th, 2007 at 7:19 am
[...] You most likely have. Motivating yourself to accomplish your goal is the beginning of changing your character. You stop watching TV to complete your task, that’s change of character; from a couch potato to a goal oriented person. I enjoyed this portion of Steve Pavlinas‘ blog: For example, suppose you want to become more successful in your career, and you set a goal to reach a certain position. Maybe the main reason you haven’t yet reached that position is that your character attributes are out of sync with it. [...]
September 7th, 2007 at 5:33 am
[...] Another thing to remember is you need to focus on your goals and not just the result of your goals. What I mean by this is I wanted freedom from pornography more than anything and that’s all I thought about. This was not a goal, it was a result of a lot of small goals. I would always set this goal but it would always seem so far away and I would get discouraged and give up easily. Freedom from pornography or whatever addiction is your target but not the goals you need to start with. Break it down into small, achievable goals. You need these to gain confidenc and keep progressing otherwise you feel like you’re getting nowhere. For example, a realistic goal of mine was to be completely free from my pornography addiction in six months. Because this was such a difficult thing to overcome I had to break it down into days and mark my calendar. Once I passed a month, even though I didn’t keep all my one day goals, I committed or made a goal to do better the second month. Like I said before, you need to have and celebrate the success of smaller goals to get the momentum going. You don’t get a four year college degree by just contrentrating on the end result of holding that diploma. Yes, that is your target, but you break it down into semesters and weeks or even days you need to study. Break it down to small manageable goals even if it means breaking it down to hours. This way you are not overwhelmed but instead moving right along. Always reward your self in some way for reaching a goal even if it is a small reward like telling yourself “good job buddy” Steve Pavlina has some interesting insights on goals as well. [...]
December 14th, 2007 at 10:11 am
[...] So, the script tells you what you’re supposed to do, and you know why the character wants to do it, but how are you supposed to do it? A good actor needs to take a combination of instructions, like Enter stage left and a description of what’s to happen in the scene and figure out the specifics. Do they enter with pomp and flair, or do they slink on stage, hiding in the shadows? The key to answering this question lies in another question. “What would so-and-so do?” Steve Pavlina has a great article about this, and I’d highly recommend you read it, but to quickly paraphrase, by asking what a person who has a certain trait would do in this situation, you can identify where you might need to improve. To take that a step further, you might even discover the actions required. As Gretchin Rubin posted some time back, a great way to change your feelings, or in this case, to gain some of the traits of the character you’re trying to play, act how you would like to feel. This is also Commandment Number Three on her list of Twelve Commandments for her Happiness Project. Through consistently and consciously choosing the actions your character would choose, you can eventually internalize the character, so that you can become them. [...]